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AOL Lays Off 450 In California
bmarklein writes "AOL has laid off 450 in California. The former Netscape campus is going from 675 employees to 300. The San Francisco office, which they obtained when they acquired Spinner (now Radio@AOL), and which housed Nullsoft after their acquisition by AOL, is being closed along with an office in San Diego. 100 employees have been offered jobs in Virginia or New York. No word on how this affects products like WinAmp. Justin, are you out there?"
That has to be a good .03% of their workforce.
Slow day already?
Q: What do you call 450 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
"What we're doing is actually moving some of our projects into teams in other facilities."
Sounds to me like winamp will have a distinct bangladesh feel to it next version
675 - 450 = 300?
So does this mean I can expect a reduction of AOL cds in my mail?
Hello!
You got laid off!
Goodbye.
%$##@!
Vos teneo officium eram periculosus ut vos recipero is.
In fact, I bet a certain company in Redmond, WA wouldn't have any problem in picking him up.
NINTENDO OF AMERICA'S GOING TO BUY WINAMP? GASP!
You've got a pink slip!
Goo goo g'joob.
I heard from a friend who works for AOL - their entire internal support staff is being moved offshore (to india).
Will they change their name to IOL (India OnLine)?
No actually it's an increase that's coming in the future. They've actually laid off a brewing anti-"cd shipping" group within the company that was distributing propaganda to eliminate the cd's that we enjoy getting in the mail. Thank God they shut these guys down. Now I can finish building my house of CDs...egg-cellent.
___ Shout Central - Crushes your nuts!
So I can listen to my CDs in 1/10th the time. Cool!
It's: Winamp, it is really whipping the elephant's ass!
Somebody tell me that little icon fscker running man was included in those layoffs, and also will some of their users be laid off ...
source http://www.antioffline.com/aolstory.html
Confident with the US government's standing on its purchases, AOL announced today they will purchase themselves in a hostile takeover move in an effort to ensure they don't compete with themselves.
Time Warner an AOL subsidiary backed AOL's decision with the company's spokesperson stating "We as a company are please to announce that customers will have the ability to choose between AOL and the new line of products titled XAOL which simply translates to eXtended AOL which will feature more robust happy face icons with a slightly higher 102 megabyte overhead of icons and sounds.
"In addition we are now ceasing the abilities of hackers by bundling XAOL with the latest in our very own firewall which features will include packet filtering, AOHell punters for our chatters, and SpamGod v.1 for our users who send bulk mail."
As for the takeover plans include an overhaul of the technical support group which will now have mandatory classes at Romper Room and a new set of AOL for Dummies, Internet for Idiots in 21 days for Dummies, and The Internet Who'd of Thunk it, books in order to facilitate their skills.
"Customers will also have new screen names to keep up to date with the changes of the net, so a user named billybob will have all aliases associated with that name to keep AOL as hip as ever. BiLLyBoB, xXxBiLLyBoBxXx, b1llyb0b, are some of the combinations available at this time." states Justin Case CTO Operations.
Along with these added new functionalities in AOL, monopolies will be built around Time Warner's existing empire and the entire cast of the WB's popular will fill chat rooms from 6-9pm and the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer will also join popular chatroom channels such as DesperateAndDumbHousewives.
Investors are delighted to this deal and are pouring millions of dollars into this new venture in hopes of someday being able to interpret anything related to technology. "As long as its on the Internet it must be profitable, so we filled out portfolios and dumped our life savings into this wonderful idea."
Phil McGroin analyst Meryll Lurch
MoFscker
They're using the new improved "SCO Math"; a companion piece to the wildly popular "SCO Logic" and "SCO Legal Theory".
Look for a seminar coming to your area soon!
I'm not a nerd. I'm just here for the free food.
That's okay - I'm used to not understanding anyone I talk to from AOL.
The government's moral compass is controlled by GPS.
In times of crises, they alter it to suit their needs.
and the broadband service they offer is just a piece of seemingly annoying proprietary software.
If you didn't notice, AOL is the leading provider of seemingly annoying proprietary software, along with Microsoft and SCO...
'You've got dole!'
'You've got a P45.'
'You've got food stamps!'
. Any more? I suspect said ex-employees will be finding out if you can build a house out of AOL cds.
It comes from the same place as those 1500 free hours that you have to use within 60 days.
SharkJumper
I hope that their layoff comes with a nice deal, like maybe getting an AOL CD in the mail.
30% Troll, 50% Underrated, 10% Interesting
Score:5, Troll
That's the way that corporate america works. Management is #1, shareholders are #2, customers and employees are a necessary evil, and should be disposed of as soon as possible.
"You've failed to grow the company but you got a multimillion dollar bonus anyway!"
doing lines off a supermodel's chest. rich/lucky bastard. :-P