The Definitive Episode 3 Spoiler Synopsis

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The Definitive Episode 3 Spoiler Synopsis

Posted by timothy on Wednesday December 10, 2003 @05:54AM from the is-anakin-her-first dept.

An anonymous reader submits "Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie? How come Yoda runs off to Dagobah? Who will Darth Vader kill? Will the Clonetroopers become Stormtroopers? Will Chewbacca or Grand Moff Tarkin have a role in Star Wars:Episode III, and if so what is it? AgonyEngine of the Phatooine Network dares to answers these questions with a definitive timeline synopsis and character analysis, carefully compiled from the many spoilers and spy reports from the insiders and interviews."

18 of 428 comments (clear)

OMG!?! ANAKIN IS DARTH VADER?! by Anonymous Coward · 2003-12-10 05:55 · Score: 5, Funny

What the hell?! Lucas shocks us again! This is bigger than Vader begin Luke's father, or Leia being Luke's sister.
Timeline Synopsis by Anonymous Coward · 2003-12-10 05:55 · Score: 5, Funny

00:00:03 Server /.'ed.
You could have warned us! by TheWart · 2003-12-10 05:56 · Score: 5, Funny

Thanks for ruining the movie...didn't even say the link contained spoilers.
1. Re:You could have warned us! by Anonymous Coward · 2003-12-10 06:00 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I'm sure Senior Lucas would have done a fine job ruining the movie all by himself anyway.
The dark side... by wazzzup · 2003-12-10 05:58 · Score: 5, Funny

is clouding my connection to the server. I heard a million requests and all went silent.
1. Re:The dark side... by Anonymous Coward · 2003-12-10 06:00 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  That's what I'm trying to tell you kid, it's gone. It's not there anymore.
2. Re:The dark side... by Eccles · 2003-12-10 07:49 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  No no, it's
  "I find your lack of bandwidth disturbing."
  
  --
  Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
Cameo (spoiler!) by Alex+Reynolds · 2003-12-10 05:58 · Score: 5, Funny

Look out the for a walk-on from Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. It's so awesome, Triumph walks up to Darth and asks him which button to press on his breather to call his parents to come pick him up! I'm pooping with anticipation!
Dead in 10 minutes by The+Ape+With+No+Name · 2003-12-10 05:59 · Score: 5, Funny

Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie?

That would be httpd, Bob.

--
Comparing it to Windows will be a moot point, since El Dorado is going to have a 40% larger code base than XP.
Re:A year away by Neurotoxic666 · 2003-12-10 06:00 · Score: 5, Funny

.... yeeaaaah... like, maybe Leia is in fact Darth Vader, Anakin is an ewok, Darth Vader was born with his helmet on and the Jedi order lived happily ever after. Who knows.

--
You are more than the sum of what you consume. Desire is not an occupation.
You cherished childhood memories raped for $$$$!! by Thud457 · 2003-12-10 06:06 · Score: 5, Funny

"Thanks for ruining the movie..."
Seeing his recent track record, I'm sure George Lucas took care of that already.

--
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Timothy wins by WinDoze · 2003-12-10 06:14 · Score: 5, Funny

from the is-anakin-her-first dept.

Best... Slashdot... Dept... EVER!
Who gets killed in the first ten minutes? by bfg9000 · 2003-12-10 06:15 · Score: 5, Funny

Please God, let it be Jar Jar. Three hours of "Faces of Death"-like gore footage of Jar Jar getting digested by that big sand worm would get *MY* ten bucks.

--
I'm not normally an irrational zealous dickhead, but I figure "When in Rome..."
Re:Sheesh... by shawn(at)fsu · 2003-12-10 06:30 · Score: 5, Funny

So many great Yoda quotes for when a SW server gets /. server quotes. (with paraphrasing of course)

Question: Why didn't they see this coming?
Yoda: "Always unclear the future is"

Statement: I can not seem to find the web page.
Yoda: "Lost a server you did, most embarrassing indeed"

Statement: My browser is taking for every to try and load this page
Yoda: "Do or do not there is no try"

--
500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
Blown Away by Guppy · 2003-12-10 06:37 · Score: 5, Funny

LUKE: What's going on?

HAN: Our link is correct, except...no, Website!

LUKE: What do you mean? Where is it?

HAN: Thats what I'm trying to tell you, kid. It ain't there. It's been
totally blown away.

LUKE: What? How?
Re:Sheesh... by BorgCopyeditor · 2003-12-10 07:24 · Score: 5, Funny

You'd think a Jedi could handle a little slashdotting.
*waves hand*. This is not the URL you were looking for. Move along.

--
Shop as usual. And avoid panic buying.
Re:Character analysis (seeing as it got slashdotte by I'm+Spartacus! · 2003-12-10 07:45 · Score: 5, Funny

> A shirtless Anakin, a pregnant Padme, and a
> curious C-3PO have a scene together

Dude, that's just sick!!!

--
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." -- Ambrose Bierce
Re:Sheesh... by halr9000 · 2003-12-10 08:38 · Score: 5, Funny

GET /droids/ HTTP/1.0
307 Temporary Redirect Location: /carry_on/
:)