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The Definitive Episode 3 Spoiler Synopsis
An anonymous reader submits "Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie? How come Yoda runs off to Dagobah? Who will Darth Vader kill? Will the Clonetroopers become Stormtroopers? Will Chewbacca or Grand Moff Tarkin have a role in Star Wars:Episode III, and if so what is it? AgonyEngine of the Phatooine Network dares to answers these questions with a definitive timeline synopsis and character analysis, carefully compiled from the many spoilers and spy reports from the insiders and interviews."
What the hell?! Lucas shocks us again! This is bigger than Vader begin Luke's father, or Leia being Luke's sister.
00:00:03 Server /.'ed.
Thanks for ruining the movie...didn't even say the link contained spoilers.
is clouding my connection to the server. I heard a million requests and all went silent.
On Usenet... in a phish group of all places. Still, matches up with the details of this linked story, and I think explains things better.
Look out the for a walk-on from Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. It's so awesome, Triumph walks up to Darth and asks him which button to press on his breather to call his parents to come pick him up! I'm pooping with anticipation!
Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie?
That would be httpd, Bob.
Comparing it to Windows will be a moot point, since El Dorado is going to have a 40% larger code base than XP.
The Essential Episode 3 Character Summary Analysis:
***This Character summary and analysis is the companion guide to the Definitive Episode 3 Plot and Timeline Synopsis. It will also be subject to change as we obtain new information about Episode 3. This character summary will provide additional information that the 'timeline' will not. Together, both projects should provide a signifigant insight into Star Wars Episode 3. Sources include: HS Set Notes, Web Cam, Web Chats, SW Insider, Homing Beacon, and other various rumors/sources from around the net.***
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader: In episode 3 Anakin will indeed be a Jedi Knight, and he will sport two very different looks. One rugged look, and one very rugged, scarred look. Rick McCallum confirms that Anakin loses more body parts. Anakin's light saber style is vulnerable on a slope. Anakin's turn to the dark side is TWO HRS LONG! Obi/Ani fight will not be about effects, but---betrayal! Anakin's downfall will make fans saddened, shocked, angry and betrayed! Anakin kills Dooku, and really early in the film as previously reported. And the former Jedi isn't officially named "Darth Vader" until after the lava bath. But don't take this to mean he doesn't do some very, very dark things before the duel takes place. A scene was filmed which echoes the Palpatine/Anakin discussion in Episode II. It also takes place in Palpatine's office, but the "assignment" being talked about in this situation is vastly different than that of the AOTC Palpatine/Anakin discussion. This assignment will likely be that of Palpatine's body guard... We will see why Darth Vader is named Darth Vader... All of Vader's injuries will be explained except one... We will see LORD VADER....choking could happen. Vader will be the most deadly character in the movie... There is currently no plan for Vader to be CG! It's true that Anakin will lose more of himself as the movie progresses and become more machine than man. One way in which this happens is that he'll lose his right leg after the 'duel'. Anakin knows Padme is pregnant... Anakin will attempt to rescue Obi again. JEJ won't record his dialogue for another year, if at all; he had been rumored to be recording 5 mins of dialogue for the final mins of the movie...
- Dialogue - Vader/Anakin: 3 words from Vader: "I don't fear... "
- Anakin meets Lava: (3 tests - one version will likely be used for the movie)
- Anakin Test #1: Anakin is burned black almost completely head to toe, except for his face. He is charcoal black and it honestly is sickening. The only burn marks on his face creep up along his right side of the face and the top and bottom of his eye. His ear is almost completely gone and around his lips there are several severe burns as well. This is really a sight to behold.
- Anakin Test #2: This test involved Hayden getting made to look very close to the unmasked Vader from Return of the Jedi. His skin is very dark tan in color and he has that huge gash in the right side of the top his head and other marks you may recognize. There are many small burns and scrapes on his face, with the most substantial burns appearing on both cheeks and then burned to a black crisp the rest of the way down.
- Anakin Test #3: In this final version, Hayden was made up to be burned, but not NEARLY as severe. He has massive bags under his eyes and his hair is almost completely singed off - but not quite, some stubble still remains. The left side of his face is in terrible condition, extending down his neck then to an entirely burned body as well. The others look more over the top, where this one looks more like just terrible 2nd degree burns.
Obi-Wan Kenobi/Ben: Obi-Wan's actions are important to the events that end the Clone Wars; he will become General Kenobi, THE great hero of the Clone wars! Obi-Wan will fight droids under water in Episode Obi-Wan will get the living crud beaten out of him in Eppy 3! Obi-Wan will become a fugitive and change his name to Ben... The reason
jer
We may be human, but we're still animals
- Steve Vai
.... yeeaaaah... like, maybe Leia is in fact Darth Vader, Anakin is an ewok, Darth Vader was born with his helmet on and the Jedi order lived happily ever after. Who knows.
You are more than the sum of what you consume. Desire is not an occupation.
The Definitive Episode 3 Plot Timeline Synopsis:
... Rumored paraphrase of the opening crawl: Supreme Chancellor Palpatine has been captured by the Separatists. Two Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker have found out where Palpatine is being held and lead a Squad of Clonetroopers to rescue the Chancellor...
***This is an effort to put all existing news and current rumor together in such a way that we (the fans) can visualize what Star Wars Episode 3 will be like over a year before hand, in a more entertaining manner than simple lists of unorganized facts; sources include: Star Wars Hyperspace, Set Notes, Insider, Homing Beacon, SW web chats, and current rumors that fit well with the facts from TFN, T'Bone, Eppy X, and JediNet***
Star Wars Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith (rumored title)
Rated PG - Rumored to push the PG envelope
Film time - Approximately 2hrs
Film Style - Sci-Fi adventure; reported to have more action & adventure than the 1st two prequels
Plot timeline and synopsis (keep in mind that the order and detail of scenes will be subject to change as new information becomes available; this is a living and breathing document):
- Opening Scroll: Episode III takes place 3 years after AOTC and is very important because the film opens up in the middle of things (like ANH).
- Giant space battle: Supposedly the clone wars end at the beginning of the film and a huge space battle is taking place above the planet of Coruscant. It looks that the battle will be focused around a 'kidnapped' Palpatine. Windu will be in some sort of space action... Anakin will be impressive in the opening battle as he shows us all why he's known as the best star pilot in the galaxy. R2 will be part of a space battle between proto-type Ties and X-Wings. R2 will be flying in the back of a small fighter (new Jedi Starfighter) in Eppy 3 (likely with Anakin). The opening battle is strictly a SPACE battle, but land battles will occur later on in the film! We will see gigantic fleets of starships. Choreography of E3 space battle will supercede the ROTJ space battle.
- Giant space battle - Jedi Starfighters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Plo-Koon and other Jedi will fly Starfighters. These scenes include a Jedi being destroyed by enemy fire from behind, high-energy scenes of Anakin and Obi-Wan piloting a rotating Starfighter cockpit. Anakin will be wearing a similar headband seen used by Obi-Wan in the Jedi Starfighter in AOTC...
- Giant space battle - Trade Federation Cruiser Bridge: The shooting is on the fully-constructed Trade Federation Cruiser Bridge set which is one of the largest built for Eppy 3. The Neimoidian characters in the scene will show them working the controls of the ship and looking up with alarm at a new development. Sounds like someone is about to go kablooey!
- Giant space battle - Anakin Rescues Obi-Wan, Kills Dooku, and saves Palpatine: Dooku is supposed to die within the first 10 minutes of the movie... Christopher Lee shot a pivotal confrontation scene as Count Dooku which will have action and powerful dialogue. It's rumored he will be beheaded by Anakin due to a conversation between Nick Gillard's and Christopher Lee. While Lee was chatting with Gillard, he jokingly talked about decapitation. It's also rumored that Dooku will lose some limbs and Anakin will hack him up with two sabers...
- Rumored action: Obi-Wan and Anakin are flying new Jedi Starfighters that have a strange similarity to TIE fighters in the original trilogy. It's a very exciting scene with lots of action. Obi-Wan and Anakin try to get a lock on Shaak Ti's tracking device (she was captured along with Palpatine) and find that she and Palpatine are in the most heavily guarded ship. Obi-Wan and Anakin call for backup from the Clone troopers just as 20 or so droid fighters leave the ship and attack.
- The droid fighters look like smaller Imperial shuttles. The battle continues and one of the droid shuttles deploys a bunch of sphere shaped droids
Seeing his recent track record, I'm sure George Lucas took care of that already.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
This entire thread is a spoiler. If you really cared about spoilers, you wouldn't even have posted to this thread.
Really, the hysteria about spoilers is childish. Only when geeks entered culture - people who are so unsophisticated about narrative and cinema that they really think the "surprise!" is the main reward - did spoiler-mania really take off. A movie is *not about the ending.* I know how Hamlet ends. I know how Lord of the Rings ends. I know how War and Peace ends. But I will still see a good movie about *all* these stories. I don't know how "Van Wilder, Party Liason" ends, and I'm not going to find out.
from the is-anakin-her-first dept.
Best... Slashdot... Dept... EVER!
Please God, let it be Jar Jar. Three hours of "Faces of Death"-like gore footage of Jar Jar getting digested by that big sand worm would get *MY* ten bucks.
I'm not normally an irrational zealous dickhead, but I figure "When in Rome..."
So many great Yoda quotes for when a SW server gets /. server quotes. (with paraphrasing of course)
Question: Why didn't they see this coming?
Yoda: "Always unclear the future is"
Statement: I can not seem to find the web page.
Yoda: "Lost a server you did, most embarrassing indeed"
Statement: My browser is taking for every to try and load this page
Yoda: "Do or do not there is no try"
500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
LUKE: What's going on?
HAN: Our link is correct, except...no, Website!
LUKE: What do you mean? Where is it?
HAN: Thats what I'm trying to tell you, kid. It ain't there. It's been
totally blown away.
LUKE: What? How?
I'm not going to check the website since I don't want anything to be spoiled.
Lots of people have joked about spoilers in this thread and a few people have brought it up seriously. I just wonder why anyone actually cares about spoilers in episode three of a six-part series when you've already seen episodes 1, 2 and 4-6. I mean sure, some of the specifics are unknown previous to this, but we all know Anakin becomes Vader, we all know Obi-Wan and Yoda run off and hide, we all know Luke and Leia get split up at birth and their mother dies (or we think she dies), etc. So what if we find out now that Count Dooku gets decapitated? Who really cares? This movie is not about that, and you already know everything you need to know about the main plot.
I actually found the plot/timeline synopsis pretty interesting to read - probably more interesting than the movie itself will be, if only to see the sequence of events and the filled-in gaps, even if I already knew pretty much all of the major plot points.
*waves hand*. This is not the URL you were looking for. Move along.
Shop as usual. And avoid panic buying.
> A shirtless Anakin, a pregnant Padme, and a
> curious C-3PO have a scene together
Dude, that's just sick!!!
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." -- Ambrose Bierce
Get over it!!! I for one am tired of people whining about "how bad Phantom Menace sucked" and "George Lucas is a talentless hack". Is the magic that the original trilogy instilled in you gone in the prequels?? Guess what nerd boy? You're not seven anymore!! Star Wars magic is much easier to digest when you're flying through your living room in your Boba Fett underoos.
Was TPM perfect? No, far from it. The dialog was campy and the acting was occasionaly wooden. But AFAIC, the story was rock solid! It set the stage perfectly for what was to come: The galaxy in decline, and Palpatine subtly moving into position to declare himself emporer. The sith reappear for the first time in 1000 years, and we see the boy-who-would-be-Vader as innocent and vulnerable. For this, I can forgive the few jar-jar-isms that get on my nervs.
Episode 2: George gives you what you want, and *still* you bitch!!!! For 20 frickin years, fanboys have wanted to see Boba Fett's arsenal in action, and we finally got it! The darts, the rocket pack, the flamethrower, Slave I; it's all there! We see stormtroopers that can actually hit something. We are exposed to a very film noir Coruscant. Yoda opening a green can of whoopass. You want to whine about Hayden's acting as Anakin? Watch the scene again where he returns carrying the body of his mother, and his following confession to Padme'. Brilliant!! We get to see the Empire born before our eyes with JW's Imperial March resonating in the background. Ohh, but there were a few awkward love scenes that distracted me for 5 minutes THIS MOVIE SUCKS!!!
You want to talk about crappy dialog??? How about:
There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser!!
You want crappy characters that do nothing to the story but sell toys??
one word....Ewoks
You want to whine about GL? If it wasn't for him stepping up to the plate in the early seventies, SCI-FI in film would be DEAD! His work paved the way for Alien, the Star Trek film franchises (and spin offs), and countless other films of the eighties and nineties. You think I'm wrong? Name the last successful "fantasy" film franchise prior to Peter Jackson.....
In closing, both the magic and the weaknesses of the Original Trilogy are present in the Prequels. If you want to be a bitter-thirty-something whose Boba Fett underoos don't fit anymore, fine! You're entitled to your opinions. But there are millions of us fanboys out there who are damn sick & tired of you constantly pissing on our popsicle!
Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
GET /droids/ HTTP/1.0
307 Temporary RedirectLocation:
:)
I mean, anyone who cared to, knew the entire story of Lord of the Rings years before they even started making the films. Does it screw up the movie knowing that Boromir dies, Aragorn triumphs and Frodo Nine-fingers is successful?
Everyone knows that Romeo and Juliet die, Peter Pan escapes, and Oz is a sham -- yet adaptations of these stories never cease, and they're some of the most rewatched/retold stories around.
Any movie that revolves around a single surprise for cinematic weight isn't that good to begin with.
Sure, surprises have their place and they can be really great. but no good film is -ruined- by a spoiled surprise. part of why people like the surprises they do, is because they give you something you enjoyed getting. people -loved- that vader was luke's father. but knowing that before the end of Empire Strikes Back doesn't remove the fact that it's a good addition to the story.
hell, twists that aren't good are made fun of worse than if the plot item they reveal was understood from the beginning.
The Neverending Story was pretty much shown to have been a cliche dream-sequence from the beginning, and it doesn't get half as much crap as other stories with a 'but it was all just a dream' 'twist' at the end. because the others try to -surprise- you with a bad cliche.
so spoiling the surprise doesn't truly ruin anything, unless the surprise is good anyway -- which means the story is still good.
which is why you didn't care if Trinity's death was spoiled, but would have if Bruce Willis' was.
// "Can't clowns and pirates just -try- to get along?"