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Build Your Own NOC
Geminus writes "Ever wanted to build a cheap NOC but had difficulty explaining tech stuff to bean counting managers? Here's the basics on building one for under two grand. Makes for a pretty good dog-n-pony show, and proves useful too! Damn, I want to be an Armchair Network Operations Center General."
NOC=Nitrous Oxide Computing.
Only 7 (now 8) comments and they're already slashdotted. Way to go, guys.
I guess you can build your own NOC, but if you don't have enough bandwidth, you can't teach others how to do it.
There have been 4 comments so far and the story is already slashdotted!
Jory
I was part of a company that wanted to branch into network management for others
problem was, to sell your services as a NOC, you have to already have it built, which we didn't have...we had a bunch of fake looking tools, though...
where was this two years ago when I needed it...LOL
RB
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ah honey, we're all resplendent - Bill Mallonee
Just add an LCD projector and I can play a 3d shooter on the big screen while keeping track of network packets.
It must have been a *really* cheap NOC!
No One Cares
(outside IT that is)
The NOC advisory "Your first Monitor should be watching CNN or the weather channel"
Change that to Slashdot, Kuro5in, TheRegister, ThtOnion or something else. No CNN please.... if you have any sense of self-esteem, that is.
-
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
Trust me, once you go Dual-Head, you won't go back.
I soooo wish that I'd get 'dual head' in my NOC...
I used to host with a fine place, but disagreements over costs and bandwidth usage charges inspired me (along with the purchase of my home) to host in my own basement. I have 3-4 customers, and we'll keep it at that. Bandwidth is a T-1. And I think the place looks pretty sharp. This is also where textfiles.com and bbsdocumentary.com are hosted, so it works for me.
5. Red Phone... afterall, who doesn't want one? You're batman right?
Of course, then you can say stuff like "Get the Pentagon on the horn!" while smoking a stogie
Im dreaming ofa big bndwdth, That can resist the
I see two Lisas. So that would be Basement NOC/Museum. Just charge admission.
as in "-knock knock! -who's there ?-go fuck yourself !
or
as in Network operations center
Trolling using another account since 2005.
You can turn in your Geek ID on the way out, as you won't have any further need for it. The geek that has not seen WarGames is not the true geek.
20 January 2017: the End of an Error.
It really is what you hear the Burger King employee whisper into that gooseneck microphone:
"WOPR, large Fries"
-- You are in a maze of little, twisty passages, all different... --
5256375678 -- its somewhere in the first 10,000 digits of pi.... I want my cookie now! :)
SSL Certificate
it really isn't worthy of a Slashdot story.
Then your standards are too high... or you must be new here. In that case, welcome to Slashdot! (Some of us regulars here call it "/.")
Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.
How to Get Out of Your NOC Career That You Got Suckered Into Like an Idiot. I'd love that one, please.
-KS2k3
What's the point of being Napoleon and BOFH of your own NOC if you don't have lusers to abuse? I think I might have an answer, however.
Tapping the vast pool of cheap out-of-work IT workers, LUSERS'R'US can provide a simulated load of lusers on your network -- Even with an adjustable rate of phone calls with silly-assed questions and problems for home NOC commanders to deal with.
If you want to be a real BOFH, you can't reign in hell without some damned souls to boss around. You need us. You need LUSERS'R'US!
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
I often do this when I'm working late in the NOC. Of course, then my cigar sets off the fire suppression system...
Game... blouses.
I've worked deep inside a NOC, and this is no NOC...
Yep - nothing like a NOC without UPS to make life interesting!
At least while watching the weather channel you can get a heads-up on when the boxes are going to be going down.
Who wants to sit in a 4X8 closet with a bunch of cheap windows boxes? I want floated floors with forced air cooling, an inert gas fire suppression systems (and gas masks for everybody!), huge monolith UPSs (built in), a biodiesel/fuel cell backup generator, 3 fiber trunks on major internet backbones (gotta have multi-homing), an isolated command and control center, rackspace out the wazoo, a top 500 supercomputer or two, bullet proof glass walls with opacity dimmers, biometric security scanners, armed guards, NORAD like bomb shelter construction. Oh yeah, and a cafeteria. And armed female guards cloned from Lucy Liu's DNA. Now we're talking.
TallGreen CMS hosting
I think we can all agree that the real reason we geeks have invented this NOC stuff is so we can act like commanders of our own personal starships:
*beep beep beep*
Underling: "Sir, incoming connections are increasing..."
You: "What?! What is the nature of the increase?"
U: "Exponential!"
Y: "By the gods..... bring up all status displays, throttle incoming connections, make sure engineering has that backup DNS online!"
U: "Yes, sir!"
*fast forword to the NOC is dissarray, sparks flying, servers dying*
Engineering: "She canna hold much longer!"
Y: "That does it.... time for the last resort... ban all links coming from the reference slashdot.org, authorization omega 8 pi!"
Like eagles on pogo-sticks! -- Glottis