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The Cost of 12 Days of Christmas
CtrlPhreak writes "PNC bank once again has come out with the Christmas price index, the cost of the 12 days of christmas. The result, swans cost 66.7 percent up from last year. The total cost rose 18.8 percent from the last year to a grand total of... $65,264.28, the largest percentage increase since 1987."
Theeing as how I'm out of a job and in dethperate need of the money, the prithe for my two front teeth hath never been better.
If that'th thtill all you want for Christmath, let me know.
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Bleah! Heh heh heh... BLEAH BLEAH!!! Ha ha ha ha...
As a Canadian, one US dollar was worth $1.61 CDN in the beginning of this year. Now one US dollar is worth $1.31 CDN. Which means the US dollar this year has dropped about... 18.63%, which is eerily similar to the rise in price for the 12 days of Christmas!
Take this into account, and 2 of the 3 major US stock indices are actually DOWN for the year.
Dow Diamonds (DIA) was ~$87 USD in January and is now ~$101 USD.
But the US dollar then was worth 1.61x the Canadian dollar and is now worth only 1.31x. So from where I stand, the DIA was ~$140 CDN in January and is now $133 CDN.
S&P 500 (SPY) was ~$92 USD in January and is now ~$108 USD.
That makes it $148.12 CDN in January and $141.48 now CDN.
On the other hand, tech stocks are indeed up for the year:
Nasdaq 100 (QQQ) was ~$26 USD in January and is now ~$36 USD.
So that makes it $41.86 CDN in January and $57.96 CDN in December.
No cost increase for me.
--Scrooge
To know that you know what you know, and that you do not know what you do not know, that is true wisdom. --Scooby Doo
One Partridge in a Pear Tree
Is this just a normal tree? Or do I get one of those fancy foreign Pear Trees?
Two Turtle Doves
Are these both male, both female, or a mix? I mean I dont want 50 of these things next Christmas
Three French Hens
You want me to PAY for these!?
Four Calling Birds
What types of birds are we talking here? Some piegons or doves or what?
Five Gold Rings
How many carats? Are they Rings of Power?
Six Geese-a-Laying
How many eggs a day is this?
Seven Swans-a-Swimming
Does the kiddie pool for them to swim in come with it? Or is that an optional extra?
Eight Maids-a-Milking
Now I'm assuming the cows come with it, again is the cost of manure removal included? How about feed?
Nine Ladies Dancing
Are these like Twi'lek dancers? Or the girls of Jenni Craig?
10 Lords-a-Leaping
Wait . . I though Queer Eye only had 5 guys on it?
11 Pipers Piping
So, if I buy these can I like shoot them as soon as they piss me off?
12 Drummers Drumming
Same goes for these guys too.
Your hair look like poop, Bob! - Wanker.
Unfortunately this study does not take into effect the TCO (Total Cost of Ownership) of the 12 Days of Christmas items. This makes it infeasible for an actual guide in gift giving.
For example, the geese and other birds must be fed. The dancing ladies must be paid at least the minimum wage for your state, or under some circumstances tips. And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.
Happy holidays!
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
Screw the lords, I want to know how Eight Maid's a-Milkin' cost 40 bucks. Sign me up!
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
Nine Ladies Dancing: 4,230.89
;)
I can just imagine how they found out that price.
Mngmt: umm..$4230 bill from a place called the "Beef Barn?"
Researcher: I swear boss, it was research!
seriously though, $470 just to get a girl to dance? I know some top notch places that'll get you a beer AND a dance for $15
I've always wondered about the "12 Days of Christmas" song, and if it meant that you get just that gift for that day, and the chorous was tallying up the earnings, or if the singer got the gift again, i.e. on the second day you would have recived your second partridge and pear tree combo along with your two turtle doves.
:)
If this is the case you'd get 12 partridges in pear trees, 22 turtle doves, 30 french hens, 36 calling birds, 40 gold rings, 42 geese-a-laying, 40 maids-a-milking, 36 ladies dancing, 30 lords-a-leaping, 22 pipers piping, and 12 drummers drumming in all. That's one heck of a bounty!
Mewyn Dy'ner
10 Lords-a-Leaping
11 Pipers Piping
12 Drummers Drumming
So they are claiming that with unemployment still up, and orchestras laying off employess or going under due to lack of donations, the cost of talent is up this year. It seems like semi-pro musician and dancers could be hard for $100 a piece.
And what is it with the birds. I see them for sale along the freeway all the time for next to nothing. And a pear tree? Those are everywhere. Go and dig one up. I mean they are just trees.
It's christmas. We have no money. Be creative
And, btw, where are they shipping to? Longyearbyen to Cape Horn.
"She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
I hear the geese are a-laying-off staff, so perhaps the swan sector is going the same way...
"And that solves the mystery of the missing ring" - Bender
Give the gift of love, and people think you're cheap. Give them a cheap bit of crap, and they love you for it. Go figure.
Notice your standard of living is up too. Remember back in the 70s when most people had 1 TV and if you were well to do you might have had 2? How much did your first VCR cost? Although the cost of living has been going up, I think you'll find that people spend less of their income, percentage wise, on basic living essentials. Then again, people today define cable TV and a car with leather seats as basic essentials. One thing for sure, most people today have a better standard of living and comfort level than the super rich had in the late 1800s.
Most of this could be outsourced to India.
Run and catch, run and catch, the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.
We really need to be careful here, because if the cost goes up a mere $271.28 next year, it will reach $65536, and all of the Christmas Index computers which are still using unsigned short integers will crash.