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The Cost of 12 Days of Christmas

CtrlPhreak writes "PNC bank once again has come out with the Christmas price index, the cost of the 12 days of christmas. The result, swans cost 66.7 percent up from last year. The total cost rose 18.8 percent from the last year to a grand total of... $65,264.28, the largest percentage increase since 1987."

57 of 271 comments (clear)

  1. Where do they get the lords? by bgog · · Score: 3, Funny

    So what would the seven 'lords a leaping' be?

    Lords of the dance?
    Renting lords from the British house of Lords to leap around?

    1. Re:Where do they get the lords? by MikeXpop · · Score: 5, Funny

      Screw the lords, I want to know how Eight Maid's a-Milkin' cost 40 bucks. Sign me up!

      --
      Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
    2. Re:Where do they get the lords? by inkpassion · · Score: 2, Funny

      Simple. $5 hand jobs

    3. Re:Where do they get the lords? by Mmm_Coco · · Score: 3, Funny

      Damn. And I was looking foward to hiring some sexy sexy maids for the low low price of $1. Oh well, I'll have to splurge on the $5 maids.

  2. hrm... by xao+gypsie · · Score: 4, Funny

    now, is it that the demand for swans has gone up, or that the supply has gone down?

    xao

    --


    xao
    http://TheHillforum.hopto.org
    1. Re:hrm... by futuramarama · · Score: 5, Funny

      I hear the geese are a-laying-off staff, so perhaps the swan sector is going the same way...

      --
      "And that solves the mystery of the missing ring" - Bender
  3. Meanwhile... by wrinkledshirt · · Score: 5, Funny

    Theeing as how I'm out of a job and in dethperate need of the money, the prithe for my two front teeth hath never been better.

    If that'th thtill all you want for Christmath, let me know.

    --

    --------
    Bleah! Heh heh heh... BLEAH BLEAH!!! Ha ha ha ha...

  4. annual budget by chloroquine · · Score: 4, Insightful
    So I guess this means that I have to work for three years, without taking into account my budget for food and shelter, to actually give Christmas gifts.

    Remind me to get a better job next year.

    1. Re:annual budget by cfuse · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Give the gift of love, and people think you're cheap. Give them a cheap bit of crap, and they love you for it. Go figure.

  5. Cost did not go up... by patricksevenlee · · Score: 5, Informative
    It wasn't so much the cost that went up as the fact that the US dollar is down this year.

    As a Canadian, one US dollar was worth $1.61 CDN in the beginning of this year. Now one US dollar is worth $1.31 CDN. Which means the US dollar this year has dropped about... 18.63%, which is eerily similar to the rise in price for the 12 days of Christmas!

    Take this into account, and 2 of the 3 major US stock indices are actually DOWN for the year.

    Dow Diamonds (DIA) was ~$87 USD in January and is now ~$101 USD.

    But the US dollar then was worth 1.61x the Canadian dollar and is now worth only 1.31x. So from where I stand, the DIA was ~$140 CDN in January and is now $133 CDN.

    S&P 500 (SPY) was ~$92 USD in January and is now ~$108 USD.
    That makes it $148.12 CDN in January and $141.48 now CDN.

    On the other hand, tech stocks are indeed up for the year:

    Nasdaq 100 (QQQ) was ~$26 USD in January and is now ~$36 USD.
    So that makes it $41.86 CDN in January and $57.96 CDN in December.

  6. Skilled labor by tcopeland · · Score: 2, Informative

    "Whereas in the mid-1980s the cost of the goods in the song dominated the Index, the trend over time has been toward lower goods prices, such as the pear tree, and higher prices for skilled labor, such as the pipers," [Jeff Kleintop] said.

    Pipers? Does this count?
  7. Re:People Never Change by Kwelstr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Actually this is probably a better gauge on inflation than the fictitious numbers they're feeding us from the goverment statistics.

    All I know is, my montly bills are up: electricity, gas and phone. My market bill is bigger now than last year... and I don't think I am eating anything different. Everything is up except for the inflation numbers... go figure eh :-/

    --


    ~~~Please pass the salt, I hate unsalted MD5s :-/
  8. Bah, Humbug. by Catharz · · Score: 5, Funny

    No cost increase for me.

    --Scrooge

    --
    To know that you know what you know, and that you do not know what you do not know, that is true wisdom. --Scooby Doo
  9. Few Questions by OverlordQ · · Score: 5, Funny

    One Partridge in a Pear Tree

    Is this just a normal tree? Or do I get one of those fancy foreign Pear Trees?

    Two Turtle Doves

    Are these both male, both female, or a mix? I mean I dont want 50 of these things next Christmas

    Three French Hens

    You want me to PAY for these!?

    Four Calling Birds

    What types of birds are we talking here? Some piegons or doves or what?

    Five Gold Rings

    How many carats? Are they Rings of Power?

    Six Geese-a-Laying

    How many eggs a day is this?

    Seven Swans-a-Swimming

    Does the kiddie pool for them to swim in come with it? Or is that an optional extra?

    Eight Maids-a-Milking

    Now I'm assuming the cows come with it, again is the cost of manure removal included? How about feed?

    Nine Ladies Dancing

    Are these like Twi'lek dancers? Or the girls of Jenni Craig?

    10 Lords-a-Leaping

    Wait . . I though Queer Eye only had 5 guys on it?

    11 Pipers Piping

    So, if I buy these can I like shoot them as soon as they piss me off?

    12 Drummers Drumming

    Same goes for these guys too.

    --
    Your hair look like poop, Bob! - Wanker.
    1. Re:Few Questions by pixelgeek · · Score: 5, Funny

      -- Three French Hens

      Aren't they Freedom Hens now?

    2. Re:Few Questions by mph · · Score: 5, Funny
      Are these both male, both female, or a mix? I mean I dont want 50 of these things next Christmas
      Don't think of it as 50 little doves. Think of it as 25 tiny omelettes.
    3. Re:Few Questions by bigdavex · · Score: 2, Funny

      Four Calling Birds

      What types of birds are we talking here? Some piegons or doves or what?

      Furthermore:

      African or European?
      --
      -Dave
  10. Re:People Never Change by prisoner-of-enigma · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Uh, despite your earnest attempt to pin the blame of this on George Bush and the Iraqi war, perhaps you might want to add in the fact that the American dollar is down roughly 18% for this same period -- very similar to the price increase of the 12 days of Christmas.

    Yes, I know you hate the President, but he isn't responsible for every hideous and awful thing that happens to you regardless of whether you want him to be or not.

    --
    In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet and say to us, Make us your slaves, but feed us. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  11. What this does not take into account. by mcc · · Score: 5, Funny

    Unfortunately this study does not take into effect the TCO (Total Cost of Ownership) of the 12 Days of Christmas items. This makes it infeasible for an actual guide in gift giving.

    For example, the geese and other birds must be fed. The dancing ladies must be paid at least the minimum wage for your state, or under some circumstances tips. And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.

    Happy holidays!

    1. Re:What this does not take into account. by grasshoppa · · Score: 2, Funny

      And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.

      Whoa, check this out:

      And the MS products were wrought by the hand of the Dark Bill Gates, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.

      Freaky how two minor changes will make this a true statement.

      --
      Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
  12. Re:People Never Change by twiddlingbits · · Score: 2, Insightful

    What the Fsck is funny about this? RTFA about where the costs come from. The moderators would do well not to mod up posts that have nothing wise or informative to say, that is getting to be a bad habit. I get tired of a place that is supposed to be a type of technical forum being a place where poltical rhetoric and nonsense replaces facts. Or can the younger generation who post here not understand facts? As for folks overspending, that happens even without Christmas, and even in good economic times. Lots of people have to get the latest and greatest this or that regardless of whether they can afford it. It Sad not funny, and it happens regardless of who is in the White House.

  13. Re:People Never Change by TopShelf · · Score: 4, Informative

    Actually this is probably a better gauge on inflation than the fictitious numbers they're feeding us from the goverment statistics.

    If you want a real-world measurement, The Economist uses a Big Mac index, tracking the price of Big Mac's not just in the US but around the world, as a means of measuring inflationary trends and foreign currency movements...

    --
    Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
  14. Wow. by nertz_oi · · Score: 5, Funny

    Nine Ladies Dancing: 4,230.89

    I can just imagine how they found out that price.

    Mngmt: umm..$4230 bill from a place called the "Beef Barn?"
    Researcher: I swear boss, it was research!

    seriously though, $470 just to get a girl to dance? I know some top notch places that'll get you a beer AND a dance for $15 ;)

    1. Re:Wow. by SEE · · Score: 4, Funny

      Thems ain't no ladies, bub.

  15. internet pricing by barista · · Score: 3, Funny

    That Internet pricing seems high. I wonder if they shopped around. Maybe they shoulda checked Ebay or Half.com.

    OTOH, I guess it is kinda hard to ship lords a' leaping, etc., FedEx. Can they fly coach, or maybe a discount airline?

  16. Questions about the song... by mewyn · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I've always wondered about the "12 Days of Christmas" song, and if it meant that you get just that gift for that day, and the chorous was tallying up the earnings, or if the singer got the gift again, i.e. on the second day you would have recived your second partridge and pear tree combo along with your two turtle doves.

    If this is the case you'd get 12 partridges in pear trees, 22 turtle doves, 30 french hens, 36 calling birds, 40 gold rings, 42 geese-a-laying, 40 maids-a-milking, 36 ladies dancing, 30 lords-a-leaping, 22 pipers piping, and 12 drummers drumming in all. That's one heck of a bounty! :)

    Mewyn Dy'ner

    1. Re:Questions about the song... by lurker412 · · Score: 2, Informative

      If you listen to the Flash feature on the page (yeah, politically incorrect here) you will learn that they are assuming that the gifts repeat on successive days. Hence the huge cumulative price.

    2. Re:Questions about the song... by Wakkow · · Score: 2, Informative

      If you watch the flash presentation (or read the article closely), they mention this:

      "The price tag for the 364 items this holiday season is $65,264, up from 2002's true cost of $54,951."

      Their total number of items is higher than yours, but I'm too lazy to see if you're wrong or they are. ;)

  17. highly inflated by fermion · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Nine Ladies Dancing
    10 Lords-a-Leaping
    11 Pipers Piping
    12 Drummers Drumming

    So they are claiming that with unemployment still up, and orchestras laying off employess or going under due to lack of donations, the cost of talent is up this year. It seems like semi-pro musician and dancers could be hard for $100 a piece.

    And what is it with the birds. I see them for sale along the freeway all the time for next to nothing. And a pear tree? Those are everywhere. Go and dig one up. I mean they are just trees.

    It's christmas. We have no money. Be creative

    And, btw, where are they shipping to? Longyearbyen to Cape Horn.

    --
    "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
  18. for everything else... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Eight maids-a-milking... $41.20
    Eight minutes of a maid milking you... priceless!

  19. There are several business models here: by SkiingOnMars · · Score: 3, Funny

    The first is for vendors of: Partridges, Pear Trees, Turtle Doves, French Hens, Geese-a-Laying, Swans, Maids-a-Milking, Ladies Dancing, or Lords-a-Leaping

    1) buy the above items from your "Traditional" store
    2) sell them on the "Internet"
    3) PROFIT!!!

    The second is for vendors of: Calling Birds, Gold Rings, Pipers Piping, or Drummers Drumming.

    1) buy Gold rings on the "Internet". Download anti-RIAA sound clips of birds, pipes, and drummers, and burn to a CD.
    2) sell them in a "Traditional" store
    3) PROFIT!!

    Another business model comes to mind:

    1) Get job at bank
    2) Convince boss to use silly Christmas-themed ploy to get company in the newsmedia...
    3) PROFIT!!

  20. Great Marketing? by $ASANY · · Score: 2, Funny
    If my bank spent the fees they collected from me trying to price out the cost of leaping lords and laying swans and whatnot, I'd want to take a dump right in the middle of their lobby as I walked out after closing my accounts. Is this how they justify their myriad fees? "We need to charge an extra $.50 per ATM transaction and money order so we can tell you how expensive it is to rent or purchase leaping lords..."

    Yeah, I really want to give my business to these wackjobs. But I suppose employing accountants to figure this data out helps the economy in some small way...

    1. Re:Great Marketing? by Vegeta99 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wow, I'd hate to see the look on your face when you found out they had a christmas party.

      It's a joke, and it probably took then 10 minutes to whip up, buddy. Get a sense of humor.

  21. Re:People Never Change by yintercept · · Score: 4, Interesting

    According the the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the CPI dropped in November by .03%. The main inflationary pressure in the US right now is from the weaker dollar. The economist and other right wing rags have been lauding the the weaker dollar as it should end up helping the US labor market while increasing the value of the cash in other countries to help increase their consumer spending. The xmas index is just about a small bag of goods with wild price swings.

    The CPI is calculated over a rather large shopping bag of goods.

  22. Why not shop around? by Hektor_Troy · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Combine the best prices. That way you end up with:

    One Partridge in a Pear Tree $77.50 (Regular)
    Partridge 15.00 (Regular)
    Pear Tree 62.50 (Regular)
    Two Turtle Doves 58.00 (Regular)
    Three French Hens 15.00 (Regular)
    Four Calling Birds 330.00 (Internet)
    Five Gold Rings 183.75 (Internet)
    Six Geese-a-Laying 150.00 (Regular)
    Seven Swans-a-Swimming 3,500.00 (Regular)
    Eight Maids-a-Milking 41.20 (Regular)
    Nine Ladies Dancing 4,230.89 (Regular)
    10 Lords-a-Leaping 3,921.44 (Regular)
    11 Pipers Piping 1,600.00 (Internet)
    12 Drummers Drumming 687.50 (Internet)

    For a grand total of $14,872.28, which is $2,013 less than their estimate. Well worth the effort.

    --
    We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
  23. Um...nice theory but wrong by KalvinB · · Score: 4, Informative

    If you actually look at the prices they aren't consistantly up. Most are unchanged. The ones that changed drastically are the price of birds and pear trees must have had a good season since the price is way down. Swans are far more expensive, calling birds are more expensive. And drummers and pipers which are probably getting rarer by the year.

    It has little to no relation to the dollar. Unless we're getting those birds, pipers and drummers from Canada. More likely is that those items were a hot item last time the price list came out so they raised the prices this year.

    The gold rings are less expensive most likely from the fluctuation of the price of gold.

    Ben

  24. What.. no raise? by deadgoon42 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Those Maids-a-Milking didn't even get a cost of living raise. Things must be tough in the Dairy industry.

    --

    Smeghead every day of the week.
  25. Re:People Never Change by gcaseye6677 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Notice your standard of living is up too. Remember back in the 70s when most people had 1 TV and if you were well to do you might have had 2? How much did your first VCR cost? Although the cost of living has been going up, I think you'll find that people spend less of their income, percentage wise, on basic living essentials. Then again, people today define cable TV and a car with leather seats as basic essentials. One thing for sure, most people today have a better standard of living and comfort level than the super rich had in the late 1800s.

  26. Not realistic by VampireByte · · Score: 5, Funny

    Most of this could be outsourced to India.

    --

    Run and catch, run and catch, the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.

  27. Five golden rings for $361.25? by m0nkyman · · Score: 4, Interesting

    As a jeweller, I'd like to know how they did that! At 72.25 each, that's dirt cheap. I know that they cost me more than that wholesale. Let's see... assume three pennyweights per ring(20dwt=1 Oz)...at 406.50/oz, that's 60.98 dollars each for the gold bought as 24K bullion. by the time it's refined to 18K sheet, and made into a ring, assume it's double the price. call it $122. That leaves no room for the retailer to make a profit.

    I know it's a joke, but it would be funnier if it was accurate

    --
    ~ a low user id is no indication I have a clue what I'm talking about.
    1. Re:Five golden rings for $361.25? by m0nkyman · · Score: 2, Informative

      Ixnay my friend. If you do the math, you'll find that the repetitions mean that on each day the true love of the singer gave a partridge in a pear tree, and added the extra on top of it. That means a total of 12 partridges in pear trees. That is the repetition. No profit margin there. There's fourty golden rings sold at a loss.

      --
      ~ a low user id is no indication I have a clue what I'm talking about.
  28. Re:People Never Change by fermion · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Oh, come on. The article is a joke. The number, though shrouded in reality, should be taken even less seriously than the average economic pontifications. The responses mostly reflect that reality.

    It is expected that some of the younger population, with their ideals and unattainable standards, would take it too seriously. What is sad is when a wise and knowledgeable person take those responses seriously.

    And let's be honest. If the sole criteria for upward moderation was wisedom and correct information, we would have precious few 5's, and a much less interesting forum. As it is I sit in awe at the amount of funny stuff that gets rated flamebait, or, even more distressing, interesting.

    --
    "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
  29. They got ripped... by ISPTech · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Someone needs to tell them you can get most of that stuff on Ebay for like 1/10th the cost of what they got.

    --
    This space intentionally left blank.
  30. Re:Uh... by AKAImBatman · · Score: 4, Informative

    Gee, do ya think maybe the American dollar is down due to George W's ridiculous economic policies?


    Yes, actually. A lower dollar allows for cheaper exports and more expensive imports. What does that mean? It means encouragement for the domestic job market and industry. It's generally the correct thing to do when a recession is forced upon you by an event such as 9/11. That being said, the war actually improved the economy and the market, so don't try to blame the situation on that either.

  31. Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? by dan.hunt · · Score: 3, Interesting

    According to this site. "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is interesting because, while it seems whimsical, many believe the song was written in England as a catechism song to help young Catholics learn the tenets of their faith during the period when it was a crime to be a Catholic and Catholics were prohibited from practicing any aspect of their faith even in private. The song's gifts originally were hidden references to the teachings of the Catholic faith. The two turtle doves signified the Old and New Testaments, the eight maids a-milking are the Beatitudes and the 10 lords a-leaping the 10 Commandments.

    1. Re:Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? by Principal+Skinner · · Score: 2, Informative

      Yes, I can see how having a song using all the numbers from one to twelve would help me remember the tenets (hey, at least you spelled it right) of my faith. "Jimmy, how many commandments are there?" "Hmmm... commandments... lords a-leaping... 10, ma'am!"

      But amazingly, Snopes disagrees.

      --
      one hundred twenty
      is just enough characters
      to write a haiku
    2. Re:Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? by superyooser · · Score: 4, Insightful
      That doesn't make any sense. Here is a complete list of the 12 symbols with their meanings:
      1. Partridge in a pear tree = The One true God revealed in the person of Jesus Christ
      2. Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
      3. French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity
      4. Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
      5. Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch" which contain the law condemning us of our sins.
      6. Geese A-laying = the six days of Creation
      7. Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments of the Catholic faith
      8. Maids A-milking = the eight Beatitudes
      9. Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Spirit
      10. Lords A-leaping = the Ten Commandments
      11. Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
      12. Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed
      None of those beliefs is particular to Roman Catholicism. The Anglican Church and all other major Protestant denominations embrace every single one of the doctrines supposedly related to the song. And tell me how in the world Ten Lords A-leaping was supposed to help people remember the Ten Commandments. The imagery is just silly.

      Efforts have been made to bridge the symbols to the doctrines they supposedly represent. Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists. You can easily deduce the explanation for this one. The calling birds are spreading the Gospel; they are telling the Good News to others. The problem is that in the original song, there were no calling birds. The song began as a French song. The fourth day was about 'houiller birds. Houiller, pronounced sort of like "colly," (I think the first consonant is a gutteral sound) is the word for coal used as an adjective. In this context, it means "black as coal." They were black birds, not calling birds.

      Now, how do you explain the connection? And when in history were French Catholics being repressed by the Anglican Church so that they would have made this song?

      There are many sites like this one that debunk this urban legend. See Snopes also.

      When we Christians hold on to legends like this, it only serves to discredit everything else we claim to be true, including the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

      Catholics, please stop spreading rumors! Where is your source? You have none. It is true that Christians used to celebrate Christmas for the twelve days from Advent to Epiphany, but there is no evidence of religious doctrine being embedded in "The Twelve Days of Christmas" or of a connection to Protestant banning of Catholicism.

      Preemptive strike on trolls: Yes, I know that Jesus wasn't born on Dec. 25, pagan influences, yadda yadda, etc, but tradition and doctrine are not the same thing. The bottom line is that we don't (shouldn't) claim something to be true that isn't, and we disavow the evil sources that have affected our traditions.

  32. Five golden rings by euxneks · · Score: 2, Funny

    To rule them all!!!.. err...

    --
    in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
  33. Yes, but who'd want to receive them? by FsG · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dearest John:
    I went to the door today and the postman delivered a Partridge in a Pear Tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised.
    With deepest love and devotion,
    Agnes

    Dearest John:
    Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine - Two Turtle Doves! I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
    All my love,
    Agnes

    Dearest John:
    Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity - Three French Hens! They are just delightful, but I must insist, you've been too kind.
    Love,
    Agnes

    Dearest John:
    Today the postman delivered Four Calling Birds. Now really, you're being too romantic. They are beautiful, but don't you think that enough is enough?
    Affectionately,
    Agnes

    Dearest John:
    What a surprise! Today the postman delivered Five Golden Rings - one for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
    Love,
    Agnes

    Dear John:
    When I opened the door, there were actually Six Geese-A-Laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
    Cordially,
    Agnes

    John:
    What's with you and those fucking birds? Seven Swans-A-Swimming! What kind of a goddamn joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck - it's not funny. So stop with those fucking birds!
    Sincerely,
    Agnes

    OK Buster!
    I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 Maids a Milking? It's not enough with all these birds and maids a milking, but they had to bring their goddamn cows! There's shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.
    Just lay off me, smartass!
    Agnes

    Hey Shithead:
    What are you, some kind of sadist? Now there are nine Pipers Piping! And Christ do they play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me!
    You'll get yours!
    Agnes

    You Rotten Prick!
    Now there's Ten Ladies Dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. The cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
    I'm siccing the police on you.
    One who means it!!
    Agnes

    Listen Fuckhead:
    What's with the Eleven Lords a Leaping on those Maids and Ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows! All 23 birds are dead, they've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you vicious, rotten swine.
    Your sworn enemy,
    Agnes

    Dear Sir:
    This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest gift of the Twelve Drummers Drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All future cor-respondence should be sent to our attention. If you should attempt to contact Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot on sight! With this letter you will find attached a warrant for your arrest.
    Cordially,
    Badger, Bender & Cajole

    --
    I made a PHP/MySQL library that prevents SQL injection & makes coding easier!
  34. Cost Overflows by Ray+Radlein · · Score: 5, Funny

    We really need to be careful here, because if the cost goes up a mere $271.28 next year, it will reach $65536, and all of the Christmas Index computers which are still using unsigned short integers will crash.

  35. Numerology by manganese4 · · Score: 3, Interesting

    So those of you into ancient babylonian religions II believe that is where we got dependence on 12 and 24), any comment on the fact that the total number of items in the song is 364 where as there are 365 days in a year?

    --
    I make my face look like this and concerned words come out.
    1. Re:Numerology by Alphanos · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I don't know about babylonian religions, but 12 is definately a recurring number in the Bible. There were 12 tribes of Israel, 12 Apostles, etc. Off the top of my head, I'd say the most common significant numbers in the Bible are 1, 3, 7, 12, and 40.

      --
      Alphanos
  36. for the British audience by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny


    $65,264.28 at current exchange rates is worth about a tenner and a pack of 20 B&H

  37. A price too heavy.... by phorm · · Score: 2, Funny

    And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.

    Is it just me, or do the "Five Golden Rings" sound a heck of a lot like an RIAA contract for music artists?

  38. The cost of gold rings went down--wtf? by Calaf · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I have a hard time believing this. On December 16 2002 the price of an ounce of gold was US$333, while as of today, December 16 2003, the price is US$408. I can't believe that the cost of labor and other materials went down enough to compensate for this.

  39. They've ignored the reuse/return opportunities.. by Channard · · Score: 2, Funny
    .. after all, there after Christmas, there are plenty of reuse opportunities for the items, after the recipient of the items has got bored or overwhelmed by the gifts. For example:

    The 'gold' rings could be put in special presentation cases and sold on E-Bay as the official Lord of the Rings One True Ring (five available).

    The Two Turtle Doves could be fitted with Bandanas and sold as Ninja Turtle Doves to kids.

    The French Hens could be resold as 'Freedom Hens', packaged with the slogan 'Laying Eggs for our boys in the Gulf.'

    The Swans could be rented out to high class celebrity weddings - the Swans no doubt lasting longer than the marriage.

    The geese could be fed the leftovers and used to produce a delicious foie-de-gras pate, far preferable to the leftover turkey traditionally eaten from December 25th to November.

    I'm sure there are more opportunities for reuse - anyone else got any ideas?

  40. Pah, who cares about the lords... by evil-osm · · Score: 3, Funny

    Besides, you american's always spend too much on these sort of things. Check out the Canadian 12 days-o-Christmas. I promise you it will cost FAR less, and if you pay in American $, you'll have spent basicly pocket change!

    --


    E.

    Never rub another man's rhubarb - The Joker