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Weird Presents Anyone?
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
a dildo for Christmas. From my elderly neighbor! I'm a male!
HOW'S MY POSTING? CALL 1-800-POSTING
Personally, i got a first post! :-P
My Stack Overflow user
My friends got me a blow-up doll, complete with inflatable breasts and two holes.
I've never felt so pathetic in my life.
I got a 40 gig iPod for Xmas. But the weird part is that when I looked at the diagnostics menu, it said it was only 37.1 gigs! Apple played Grinch and stole 3 gigs of music from me. :(
C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
I was given (by a christian relative) an autobiography of christian golfer Bernhard Langer. A pretty poor attempt to turn me onto 'the right path'! Next year I'm going to buy them something by Richard Dawkins.
We ARE the peat bog soldiers.
I got a combination wallet/calculator from Radio Shack. Who buys a wallet from RS? Old folks are so crazy. This is the same aunt who last year bought me a combination mouse pad/calculator. Next year I bet I get a calculator watch.
Oh well, maybe I'll get her back by giving some Metallica CDs.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Toothpaste, breath-freshening mints, deoderant, and cheap out-of-the house food.
No pattern there.
Hmm. Unless.... Is your family trying to tell you you're spending too much time playing Everquest, and too little time playing "shower"?
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
Not only did I get nothing but CLOTHES for christmas.. My parents bought me a hamper to put them in. *rolls eyes*
I found it funny that she was advocating downloading and achiving pr0n.
Those were the types of movies she was talking about, right?
I know god exists. I read it on the internet, so it must be true.
I got a full length coat from my mom. Now I can go out in public without wearing anything underneath it. I can;t wait till New Years!! Mwahaahaha!!!!
adventure-today.com
Yup, My boss got me one as a "Christmas Bonus" :)
It made me happy. Albeit drunkenly happy, as I'd just got back from the pub when I recieved it.
Which is the best kind of happy really I suppose.
My girlfriend got me razor-sharp shurikens that I can use to assassinate my enemies in the dark of night!
I wrote Santa and asked for a pussy. So I unwrap the box and see only a goddam alley cat.....male even.
Table-ized A.I.
Personally, I'm baffled by the McDonalds coupon.
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
I love my family. :D
...was wrapped gift wrap.
Worse part was, I didn't know when the hell to stop unwrapping.
Me and my s.o. got a Shocking Roulette game from a friend who is studying in Scotland (it's supposed to be popular around there?). It's for 2-4 players. Each puts a finger inside this machine, the lights start blinking, and as they stop the lucky winner is rewarded with an electric shock. "The more you sweat the worse it gets!"
Well, in a manner of speaking...
I got mod points! Tiz the season to Troll Troll Troll! Thanks Santa!
Table-ized A.I.
Not to sound smug here but my Wife and I got out of debt.
Minimal presents to other people, no big dinner or tree and no huge tech presents for either of us. Instead we sneaked past the finish line in our "Debt Free in 2003" goal.
This Christmas is bare by many western standards, but now we can start saving for a deposit for a house. (Yeah, more debt there but what can one do about that?).
----- Documentation is worth it just to be able to answer all your mail with 'RTFM' - Alan Cox.
A good friend of mine came by and presented me with a wrapped item, about 1 meter long with bulges on each end. I tried to guess the contents, but to no avail. It turned out to be a beat-up air horn off of a large truck - which he had found in a junk yard. It didn't take long to find the fittings in the junk box to wake up the neighbothood with it.
Loud? Oh my! The 100 PSI shop air will make it sing. Now, where can I install it?
Soli Deo Gloria
My 6 year old daughter presented me with my long lost black handled phillips head screwdriver. She gave my two sons my mechanical pencils.
Thats what I got, no shens. But seriously what the hell am I going to use Whiskey flavored condoms for?!
Bill Gates took my pants, and I thank him for it.
Actualy, wasn't weird: it was a dress but it was the ugliest dress I could find. Of course was a joke but the funny part was to see my mother's face trying to smile (a very yellow smile!) and saying it was beautiful and thank you until I burst in laught. :-D
When my mother realized it was a joke her first words to me were "Thank Lord was a joke! I was already thinking a way to get rid o it without offend you!" Them I gave her the real present
Scientia est Potentia
Maybe the kid who got the small present will share the five bucks with his brother and teach you something, sensei.
Please donate your spare CPU cycles to help fight cancer and other diseases
right here! :)
Although the end result seems ok
Veni, Vidi, Velcro!
One of my friends gave me Mandrake Linux for Christmas. Cheap bastard.
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
Needless to say, I'd do anything to get a chance to play badminton with her now. For all of you with mothers, even if they drive you nuts, I envy you greatly. Now go do something that will make her happy and show her you still love her.
The nice people who are suggesting that you build your own house are probably not considering life in a major urban area as desirable.
I would count it as extraordinarily difficult to save enough money for a downpayment for a house in, say, Southern California (where I live) and similar areas. For the entry level house I just bought in Woodland Hills, the price was $428,000. Woodland Hills is an upscale suburb but doesn't have the cachet of, say, Beverly Hills or Malibu, where entry-level homes start at around twice that. If you consider that typical entry-level homes in the downscale suburb of Canoga Park start at close to $350,000, I think I got a real deal.
I'm presently renting a house for $1,400 a month, which is way under market. My landlord sold it out from under me, and I checked rental options and found them all horribly expensive. So I talked to a very nice realtor, and he, together with a great mortgage broker, showed me that a good house wasn't beyond my means, despite my lack of savings other than company 401(k).
In the end, I had to withdraw money from the 401(k) just to rarise the 3% deposit needed to prove that you're serious about the house, and to pay closing costs. My lender gave me 100% financing in a first and second mortgage, with a total payment of around $2,750 a month. Property taxes add another $500-odd a month. However, virtually all of this is tax-deductible, on both federal and state returns. The bottom line is that I get about $1,000 of that from the taxman, so my net cost is $2,250 a month.
I used some extra money from the 401(k) withdrawl to pay back all my debt. With my debt paid down to zero thanks to the 401(k) withdrawl, my net cost of housing + debt - tax deductions is actually going to be a bit lower than were I was before.
A nice bit of fiscal alchemy.
If - and only if - you believe your real estate market will continue to do well, 100% financing may make sense, even though it doesn't sound like a good idea when you first look at it. The tax deductions really help hugely, taking really scary numbers and bringing them down to reality.
Here in Southern California, there are huge population pressures, and the economy is diversified enough to continue to do well. So on balance, I think home ownership here is a reasonable gamble. The fact that my home, being a tiny but beautifully made place on a hillside, is in a unique area with extremely low housing turnover also helps.
I have lots of plans for my new home, and I think it's going to be a great experience. And to be honest, I don't think I could have ever saved the amount of money needed without 100% financing.
If you want to own a home, I think it's well worth considering.
D
Damn, you win. That's the weirdest present I've ever heard of.
Regards,
--
*Art
A co-worker of mine gave the best gift that I had heard of to date. His girlfriend is a Titanic buff and he found out that RMS Titanic, Inc., which holds the salvage rights funds some of its activities by selling the only item that they are authorized to...coal.
So guess what she got in her stocking.
2 believe || ! 2 believe
Your post made me get up from the computer and go talk to the TV with my mom, dad, and sister - that's a powerful post, and an eerily appropriate one for Christmas.
/.'er.
I just wanted to say thanks. As a college student especially, it's easy to overlook things that really matter - I'm sure I'm not the only person you had an impact on.
My religion says that everything happens for a reason - if you believe anything like that, I hope maybe you just saw a way that your mother's unfortunate death was able to help this lowly
Thanks again, sincerly.
Why would that be weird? Darwin was a professing Christian till the day he died. Shocked? Then you might be interested in reading his books, like "Origin of the Species".
If you research his life and theory you may discovers some interesting facts.
But don't let that stop you from poking fun at Christians. It helps keep us on our toes.