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Weird Presents Anyone?
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
a dildo for Christmas. From my elderly neighbor! I'm a male!
HOW'S MY POSTING? CALL 1-800-POSTING
Personally, i got a first post! :-P
My Stack Overflow user
My friends got me a blow-up doll, complete with inflatable breasts and two holes.
I've never felt so pathetic in my life.
The weirdest gift was when I was 15, I got a $50 savings bond and a guaranteed plot at a funeral home
Did anybody get a /. subscription as a gift? Anybody?
I got a 40 gig iPod for Xmas. But the weird part is that when I looked at the diagnostics menu, it said it was only 37.1 gigs! Apple played Grinch and stole 3 gigs of music from me. :(
C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
My brother got a bottleopener that can record samples and replay them. That's pretty odd. Any suggestions of messages?
:D)
(On a side note: I got Band of brothers on DVD amongst other things - way cool
For me, the weirdest presents this year came in the form of clothes from my grandma that I wouldn't actually be embarassed to wear!!
:)
A really smart shirt from Next (clothes store in the UK, not the old UNIX company!), and a silk tie from tie rack - both of which were really smart, and totally suitable to wear to work.
I was stunned!
"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!!"
I was given (by a christian relative) an autobiography of christian golfer Bernhard Langer. A pretty poor attempt to turn me onto 'the right path'! Next year I'm going to buy them something by Richard Dawkins.
We ARE the peat bog soldiers.
Along with the usual sweaters, socks and underwear I get every year, this year I got something special..
:D
My mother in law excitedly handed me my gift this year with a big grin on her face. I opened the box and what was there?
A seagate Barricuda 7200rpm 120gig hard drive!
"Now you can download more movies and burn them to dvd (vcd)" she says.
Large capacity hard drives, the gift that keeps on giving all year long
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Think they are trying to tell you something?
I got a combination wallet/calculator from Radio Shack. Who buys a wallet from RS? Old folks are so crazy. This is the same aunt who last year bought me a combination mouse pad/calculator. Next year I bet I get a calculator watch.
Oh well, maybe I'll get her back by giving some Metallica CDs.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Toothpaste, breath-freshening mints, deoderant, and cheap out-of-the house food.
No pattern there.
Hmm. Unless.... Is your family trying to tell you you're spending too much time playing Everquest, and too little time playing "shower"?
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
My Xmas:
6 pairs of black socks
1 can of mixed nuts (i hate most nuts)
A bottle of leather conditioner (presumably for my car)
A pair of cheap $20 headphones (left side doesn't work)
15 losing $1-2 lottery tickets
$10 in gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (love them, but the closest one is an HOUR away. All Dunkin' Donuts around here.)
Speaker stands for the surround sound system I don't have.
-----
I gave...
My sister a nice Capresso CoffeeTEC coffee maker because her current coffee maker broke, and this does lattes and hot cocoa to boot, which she loves. Also got her an assortment of coffee from Gevalia.
My parents to share, got them 5 classic movie DVDs (Ben-Hur, Citizen Kane, On the Waterfront, Bridge on the River Kwai, Casablanca). My mom a backyard birdwatching and project book, a pair of nice binoculars. My father I got a 10GB iPod (bring his MP3s in his car without him constantly burning CDs), and a new copy of MS Trips and Streets (to replace his 1994 Rand McNally software which he still uses regularly).
-----
I know its not what you get, but the thought that counts, but I think I put in a lot more thought than they did.
----- ----- ----- -----
Not only did I get nothing but CLOTHES for christmas.. My parents bought me a hamper to put them in. *rolls eyes*
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
It was a message. Your breath stinks, you have BO, and you're too skinny.
I got a full length coat from my mom. Now I can go out in public without wearing anything underneath it. I can;t wait till New Years!! Mwahaahaha!!!!
adventure-today.com
My girlfriend got me razor-sharp shurikens that I can use to assassinate my enemies in the dark of night!
I wrote Santa and asked for a pussy. So I unwrap the box and see only a goddam alley cat.....male even.
Table-ized A.I.
I love my family. :D
it is christmas after all
...was wrapped gift wrap.
Worse part was, I didn't know when the hell to stop unwrapping.
Are you sure your friend wasn't a cheap bastard who bought the book used? I'll just tell him I highlighted the good sections for him.
Me and my s.o. got a Shocking Roulette game from a friend who is studying in Scotland (it's supposed to be popular around there?). It's for 2-4 players. Each puts a finger inside this machine, the lights start blinking, and as they stop the lucky winner is rewarded with an electric shock. "The more you sweat the worse it gets!"
Ah, so he's a Unix administrator.
I received a wonderful gift in my e-mail box from the King of Nigeria this morning. He said that if I gave him my life savings, he would give me $400,000,000. What a kind fellow, fully of holiday cheer, to make such a generous offer!
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
"mom got me a bag of coffee beans per month for the rest of the year, which should be cool"
...Just *one* bag then, huh? ;)
Well, in a manner of speaking...
Not to sound smug here but my Wife and I got out of debt.
Minimal presents to other people, no big dinner or tree and no huge tech presents for either of us. Instead we sneaked past the finish line in our "Debt Free in 2003" goal.
This Christmas is bare by many western standards, but now we can start saving for a deposit for a house. (Yeah, more debt there but what can one do about that?).
----- Documentation is worth it just to be able to answer all your mail with 'RTFM' - Alan Cox.
A good friend of mine came by and presented me with a wrapped item, about 1 meter long with bulges on each end. I tried to guess the contents, but to no avail. It turned out to be a beat-up air horn off of a large truck - which he had found in a junk yard. It didn't take long to find the fittings in the junk box to wake up the neighbothood with it.
Loud? Oh my! The 100 PSI shop air will make it sing. Now, where can I install it?
Soli Deo Gloria
I got Mod Points for Christmas! Thanks Santa!
I recently moved out on my own into an apartment in Portland with my fiancee, and this Christmas from my brother I got a $25 gift certificate from Home Depot... now, at first glance that might make sense, but if he'd checked he'd have realized that:
1) The nearest Home Depot is 50 miles away and I don't have a car.
2) You can't use them online.
3) There's hardly anything there you can buy for $25 that isn't sold by the pound anyway.
I'm selling it back to my dad for cash and thanking my brother politely for the thoughtful gift.
Why does my mother keep giving me Microsoft Games no matter how many times I tell her I don't use Windows!!! She just doesn't get it, "My son's a computer guy so I get him computer games".
-"Mom, I don't use Windows".
+"So how do you use Word?"
-"I don't".
+"Oh, Hmm, how do you use MSN?"
-"I Don't!!!!"
+"But I know you get email".
-"Yes"
+"Well that's certainly strange".
-"No, it isn't. MSN is not the Internet"
+"Oh, well here's you're Chrismas present, a copy of Freelancer". (Which is some MS game I never heard of)
Nevermind the fact that I'm 34 and don't even play computer games.
Anyone want an unopened copy of Freelancer?
My 6 year old daughter presented me with my long lost black handled phillips head screwdriver. She gave my two sons my mechanical pencils.
I have a theory about this. Geeks in general are interested in things that look impenetrable to others. You want an external hard drive for christmas, or music production software? Besides the fact that those things are somewhat expensive, the details the non-geek would have to become familiar with the get the gift right (heck, to figure out where to purchase such things) are a daunting barrier. So they drop back and punt on the gifts they do understand, or things they see you as needing (for example, maybe they see you wear white socks all the time)....
:) It's just an observation. I'll probably never get great geek gifts, and I don't think most geeks will.
My own family works pretty much this way, especially my parents, who'd rather buy another set of underwear for me than subject themselves to the fear and confusion they associate with shopping online. But on the other hand, every once in a while they get things exactly right -- like, buying me the LOTR trilogy two years ago... I wouldn't have even asked for it because I hadn't read it since high school and wasn't too into it then, but once I picked it up again I was hooked. And then there's my siblings, who actually have a great sense of style and when they buy me clothes it's great. So this isn't a "poor me" rant.
Tweet, tweet.
My uncle, who worked for the Air Force in some sort of intelligence/communications aspect, gave us an unusually heavy small package last year. Inside was our very own gurkha knife, leather holster, display stand (which I promptly broke), and instructions. According to the care and use instructions, this knife and other fine ones like it could be found in Muhammed's Knife Emporium, blah blah street, Kathmandu. The instructions included such gems as "Be sure not leave fingers on blade from cleaning". This year's present was a carved pen-sized fish with two screws coming out the bottom of the head. We have no idea what it is, where it came from, or what it does. This seems to be a typical feature of my uncle's presents, come to think of it..
Thats what I got, no shens. But seriously what the hell am I going to use Whiskey flavored condoms for?!
Bill Gates took my pants, and I thank him for it.
Actualy, wasn't weird: it was a dress but it was the ugliest dress I could find. Of course was a joke but the funny part was to see my mother's face trying to smile (a very yellow smile!) and saying it was beautiful and thank you until I burst in laught. :-D
When my mother realized it was a joke her first words to me were "Thank Lord was a joke! I was already thinking a way to get rid o it without offend you!" Them I gave her the real present
Scientia est Potentia
I've got two younger (11 and 12) brother-in-laws. They're into collectable playing cards (such as Magic: The Gathering). One of them is quite the selfish type and quite conscious of other peoples' opinions of him; the other one is a bit more geeky and off in his own world.
:P
I got them each a Core Set deck. The one more fitting for the geeky b-in-l (Sky Slam/blue) I wrapped simply - just put it in a small box slightly larger than the deck - I also put a $5 bill in. The other one (Burn/red), I put in a large box with heavy objects (several rocks wrapped in paper). I didn't put any names on the packages.
I then let the older/less geeky b-in-l pick the present that he wanted. Being selfish, he picked the larger one. The result: a lesson hopefully learned - and if not, hopeful progress made on that lesson.
I love playing mind games with influential youngsters.
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
My wife bought herself a car, I got the payments. /me scratches head..
An absurd gift, An Amish man (beard, hat etc..)puppet who's spring loaded arms can pack quite a nice hit - A completely bizarre gift from my equally bizarre sister... The company that makes it also makes a Nun punching puppet...
If the worth of the house is more than the cost of the mortage, it's not really a debt. You could easily turn around and sell the house, pay off the mortgage, and have some money to boot.
Rent is debt, it's a continuing eternal debt. Owning a house is owning something that's worth something, even if you have to pay a very large amount of money for it.
--
Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.
Interesting subject. Some people get really excited about the holidays, looking at it as a materialistic boon. Others loathe the idea that a social mandate dictates that they are to give items to everyone they know, and then have to make stressful decisions as to which of their friends fall into that "gift recipient" category and which don't. And then there's always the situation where someone who isn't on your list, gives you something and you feel weird about it.
i t's-something-you-like category. I used to think that I was one of those people who is very hard to buy gifts for, because I tend to get what I want, when I want and don't mull around much advertising things I'd like but don't have. But lately, I've had a few friends completely blow me away with things that I didn't even consider, but turned out to be great gifts. Anything that reflects some time, personal effort or thought is always rewarding. So I no longer buy into the idea that some people are hard to buy gifts for... it's not about money; it's about taking some time to pay attention to what they like.
I don't know what's worse. Running around trying to find something meaningful for someone as a gift, or opening presents from people you care about and wondering if you ended up with some impulse item that's devoid of any insight into who you are.
I've always tried to give things to my friends that didn't fall into that impulse or heres-the-latest-gadget-even-though-i'm-not-sure-
This year I found a number of otherwise mundane items that I could make special. For friends that are into cooking, I picked up some cookbooks by a famous chef in the area, and then tracked him down and got him to sign the books to my friends. Making things for people is also a good idea. One year I made up batches of herbed olive oil. Another year I smoked a bunch of hams and turkeys myself and gave them out. For friends that are into history or science, I'd keep my eyes open for interesting, very old artifacts on ebay. Wine also makes a good gift if you know what's good. A little research can yield some inexpensive, yet exceptional wines that are otherwise hard to find.
One of the weirdest gifts I ever got was from an ex-girlfriend (who at the time wasn't an ex). A gardenia bush. That in itself might not seem that weird, except I found a book she accidently left at my place on Voodoo spells, with a "love spell" page dog-eared that required placing Gardenia bushes around the target's house as a component!
right here! :)
Although the end result seems ok
Veni, Vidi, Velcro!
But at least it wasn't a hot cocoa sampler.
One of my friends gave me Mandrake Linux for Christmas. Cheap bastard.
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
I got a puppy from my parents and a cat from my uncle... The description of any of my other gifts now includes the adjectives "urine-scented", "chewed", or "clawed to hell" ... primarily as a result of gift #1 trying to swallow gift #2.
The nice people who are suggesting that you build your own house are probably not considering life in a major urban area as desirable.
I would count it as extraordinarily difficult to save enough money for a downpayment for a house in, say, Southern California (where I live) and similar areas. For the entry level house I just bought in Woodland Hills, the price was $428,000. Woodland Hills is an upscale suburb but doesn't have the cachet of, say, Beverly Hills or Malibu, where entry-level homes start at around twice that. If you consider that typical entry-level homes in the downscale suburb of Canoga Park start at close to $350,000, I think I got a real deal.
I'm presently renting a house for $1,400 a month, which is way under market. My landlord sold it out from under me, and I checked rental options and found them all horribly expensive. So I talked to a very nice realtor, and he, together with a great mortgage broker, showed me that a good house wasn't beyond my means, despite my lack of savings other than company 401(k).
In the end, I had to withdraw money from the 401(k) just to rarise the 3% deposit needed to prove that you're serious about the house, and to pay closing costs. My lender gave me 100% financing in a first and second mortgage, with a total payment of around $2,750 a month. Property taxes add another $500-odd a month. However, virtually all of this is tax-deductible, on both federal and state returns. The bottom line is that I get about $1,000 of that from the taxman, so my net cost is $2,250 a month.
I used some extra money from the 401(k) withdrawl to pay back all my debt. With my debt paid down to zero thanks to the 401(k) withdrawl, my net cost of housing + debt - tax deductions is actually going to be a bit lower than were I was before.
A nice bit of fiscal alchemy.
If - and only if - you believe your real estate market will continue to do well, 100% financing may make sense, even though it doesn't sound like a good idea when you first look at it. The tax deductions really help hugely, taking really scary numbers and bringing them down to reality.
Here in Southern California, there are huge population pressures, and the economy is diversified enough to continue to do well. So on balance, I think home ownership here is a reasonable gamble. The fact that my home, being a tiny but beautifully made place on a hillside, is in a unique area with extremely low housing turnover also helps.
I have lots of plans for my new home, and I think it's going to be a great experience. And to be honest, I don't think I could have ever saved the amount of money needed without 100% financing.
If you want to own a home, I think it's well worth considering.
D
... a male friend of mine, who has a rather elderly grandmother, received a dress.
The floggings will stop when morale improves.
A co-worker of mine gave the best gift that I had heard of to date. His girlfriend is a Titanic buff and he found out that RMS Titanic, Inc., which holds the salvage rights funds some of its activities by selling the only item that they are authorized to...coal.
So guess what she got in her stocking.
2 believe || ! 2 believe
Wait 30 minutes to see what posts get moderated up and which post is first.
Look at the content of a highly moderated post farther down on the page and regurgitate it as a reply to a first post.
It looks like it's an original thought and it's at the top of the page!
If a post has nothing to do with the parent post, don't moderate it up. Chances are it's redundant from something posted earlier but farther down.
You should have posted to the real first post (and changed the title so it's not "re:") which is most likely moderated at a -1. Then it looks like you post is the parent post to those who don't browse at that level. Badabing! First Post. Without even trying.
Ben
Work Safe Porn
Recently I ordered 6 CDs from a CD club, completely unrelated to Christmas.
When they came in the mail, my wife intercepted them and wrapped them and put the box under the tree as a gift to me. She warned me it was a joke.
Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw what it was!
HCG 50a = 2MASX J11170638+5455016
11h17m06.4s +54d55m02s
And did he invite you down to his basement, where he had a freezer full of popsicles for you? Or ask you to reach in his pocket to collect your tip? I'm sorry, but that creepy old male neighbor (Family Guy, 'To Live and Die in Dixie") sp00ked me but good. His voice did it, I think...
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley
My best friend gave me these two extremely odd presents. The wind up sushi is a set of little plastic pieces of sushi which wind up and zoom across the floor. The set includes shrimp, three pieces of tuna, and salmon eggs.
Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is a DVD, the front of which has pictures of crucified naked women and says, "First he nails you... then he NAILS you!" The back summarizes the movie as, "A schizophrenic thinks he is Jesus, and he wants payback! He crucifies and rapes the wives of his enemies. He films his deeds because he wants to make a new gospel - the Gospel of Blood!!!"
Should be... interesting.
I got a legolas door-poster from MY parents. im male as well, but i told my ex-girl what i got for xmas and she said shes comin over. never know when a life-size image of orlando bloom will come in handy ;)
eBayDig 1s a typo saerch engien
Darl? Is that you?
No, he wouldn't be complaining.
Game... blouses.
Why would that be weird? Darwin was a professing Christian till the day he died. Shocked? Then you might be interested in reading his books, like "Origin of the Species".
If you research his life and theory you may discovers some interesting facts.
But don't let that stop you from poking fun at Christians. It helps keep us on our toes.
I tore off the wrapping paper and looked for what could be in the center of the empty roll of bubble wrap. She says "I know how you like to pop them."