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10 Ads The US Won't See

prostoalex writes "Some ads made by world's leading advertising agencies for well-known brands will never be seen in the United States. The Gucci G-Spot turned out to be too risque, video for Drug-Free America was deemed too disgusting, Internet's favorite Honda "Cog" commercial won't air due to the high prices for a 2-minute spot, and Japanese commercials with American actors have contracts preventing the companies to run the same ads in the US. AdAge provides a link to the pictures and video (Windows Media .ASF format, alas) of the 10 best unaired commercials." I can get the ASFs working under VLC.

31 of 536 comments (clear)

  1. I 4 1 by Zangief · · Score: 3, Funny

    don't welcome any new ads. The only good ad is the blocked/skipped ad.

  2. To mutilate an old phrase... by OtakuHawk · · Score: 2, Funny

    No ads is good ads.

  3. Another ad America won't see by Gyan · · Score: 5, Funny

    NOT safe for work...

    Hand-rolled cigars (MPG)

  4. Doge Aries K Class by dildatron · · Score: 3, Funny

    Even though it's not a real commercial (used to be on AdCritic back when it was good), I loved the Dodge Aries K-Class car commercial. It was a hilarious spoof of car commercials...

    98 horsepower... standard.

    map light... standard.

    etc.

    --


    If you had nuts on your chin, would they be chin nuts?
    1. Re:Doge Aries K Class by dildatron · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well, poop. Here is a link that doesn't require an evil subscription.

      --


      If you had nuts on your chin, would they be chin nuts?
  5. Re:Shit nuggets taste better than testicles?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Dear Slashdot,
    I find the above very offensive. Please terminate their account asap and block them for ever posting again. Thanks!

  6. There are some things money can't buy... by LostCluster · · Score: 2, Funny

    Production costs: $1.2 million
    2 minutes of network airtime: $2 million
    Mention on Slashdot: Priceless.

    1. Re:There are some things money can't buy... by Zork+the+Almighty · · Score: 3, Funny

      Mention on Slashdot: Priceless.
      Stop deluding yourself and others ;)

      --

      In Soviet America the banks rob you!
  7. Call it a hunch... by Faust7 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Something tells me the second ad, "Gucci's G Spot," will be the one primarily responsible for the site's eventual Slashdotting.

    1. Re:Call it a hunch... by IthnkImParanoid · · Score: 4, Funny

      If only because people will be curious as to what a G Spot is.

      --
      It's nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
    2. Re:Call it a hunch... by hdparm · · Score: 2, Funny

      New Apple's processor?

    3. Re:Call it a hunch... by bakes · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, I looked, but I couldn't find it.

      --
      Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
  8. I bet we'll never see an ad for this... by Sevn · · Score: 3, Funny

    *useful product.

    *credit goes to some person on fark a while ago.

    --
    For every annoying gentoo user, are three even more annoying anti-gentoo crybabies. Take Yosh from #Gimp for example.
  9. Yeah, that's what I was thinking by iamdrscience · · Score: 4, Funny

    After watching the Simpsons and the 10 minutes of commercial I get from that and coming to slashdot to waste some time geeking out and seeing an ad for "OSDN personals" (WTF, by the way...) I just got the feeling that I wasn't watching nearly enough commercials.

  10. Yet Another ad America won't see by Dukeofshadows · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft Windows...stability guarenteed or your money back!

    --
    As long as there is a Second Amendment, there will always be a First Amendment.
  11. Ads by mrpuffypants · · Score: 2, Funny

    Speaking of ads, my roommatte pointed out something funny about my TiVo:

    I got the tivo partly to skip ads, now I never have to watch them during the shows I record (thank GOD for the 30-sec backdoor)

    However, every week a new add will show up on the tivo main screen and I always watch those. He asked me why, if I hate ads so much, I watch the longer-form ads just because tivo wants me to see them.

    thats some Zen shit i tell ya....

  12. funny == good && good > bad by bersl2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dear advertising execs:

    If you're going to put ads on the air, make them good and funny. And I don't mean ha-ha-shut-up funny, I mean really funny, maybe even piss-my-pants funny (but only the first ten times). I still won't buy your product, but you could at least entertain me.

    With much contempt,
    bersl2

  13. Re:What about ads you can only see here? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    I can't see anything advertised on American TV offending anyone else.

    You've never seen me during an H2 (fake Hummer) commercial.

  14. one of the funniest... by quacking+duck · · Score: 4, Funny

    Won't see this in the U.S., been trying to find a download of it since coming back from Australia but no luck. Goes something like this...

    Beautiful woman is sitting at a restaurant table. The waiter delivers her drink and says "take your top off for a chance to win $10000!"

    Woman: "You're joking!"

    Waiter: "No, really!"

    Woman: "Take my top off, that's all I need for a shot at $10000?"

    Waiter: "That's right."

    Woman has her already-skimpy top off in a flash. Cut back to the Waiter with a stunned expression.

    "I meant the top off your Diet Coke..."

  15. whoa by Digypro · · Score: 3, Funny

    How about this---
    John Smith's wildly popular U.K. beer spots by TBWA star well-known comedian Peter Kay as an overweight, useless parent who uses a sausage and a beer glass to illustrate the facts of life. Only a U.K. marketer would endorse such a loser as a brand spokesman
    Umm, hello?
    Dell Dude anyone?

  16. Don't Forget The Puma Ads by ticklemeozmo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Although they are fake, we cannot discount the highly suggestive Puma ads. Hubba Hubba!

    --
    When modding "Informative", please make sure it both has a source and IS actually informative.
  17. Also not safe for work by G27+Radio · · Score: 4, Funny

    I saw this Dutch ad on the Internet a couple years ago. Apparently it's an ad for English classes. That's not the only reason it would never been shown in the US though.

    Quicktime Video

  18. Oh, mi dios! El Web site pobre va a ser /.'ed by SirDaShadow · · Score: 3, Funny

    Por supuesto, todavia esta vivo

    1. Re:Oh, mi dios! El Web site pobre va a ser /.'ed by DylanQuixote · · Score: 3, Funny

      Dios mio. `mi dios' no esta correcto.

      "Ay, Dios mio! El pobre web site sera /.'ado"

  19. Re:Password Protected Bra for Office XP by Shippy · · Score: 3, Funny
    --
    -Shippy
  20. Re:Japander.com by valkraider · · Score: 2, Funny

    Nah, that was just the name of a website. THIS is a URL...

  21. Some more adds the US won't see by DroversDog · · Score: 2, Funny


    George Bush's Alternative Fuels
    Saddam's Adventure Tours of Iraq
    O J Simpson's Golf Academy
    Bill Clinton's Cigar Emporium
    Osama Bin Laden's Weapons Wholesale
    Microsofts Totally Secure Software Sale
    RIAA Free Downloads
    DVD Jon's Handmade Number Plates

    but the most anticipated for 2004 is.....

    SCO's Closing Down Sale

    Linux: Worth suing everone for!

  22. $1,000,000?!? by tgd · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'd happily abandon my dignity for ten bucks.

  23. Hitler and Taiwan by That_Dan_Guy · · Score: 3, Funny

    When I was in Taiwan there was a German company selling heaters there and the add company they hired put Hitler on the sides of busses and billboards announcing this Heater from this company would Win the War on the Cold Front!

    It didn't take long for the German company to find out and fire the add company, but that is an add you won't see in America (and sure as heck not in Germany).

  24. Say what? by Sviams · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's morning here, and as I started reading "people upset because they won't get commercials" I figured I had gotten it all wrong and so I read it again.
    And again.

    Now, I know I'm gonna get stomped down for being a communist or something, but if I were you, I'd be quite happy not to get flooded by any more mindless brainwash designed to turn us all into happy Consumers than we already are!

    We do not need commercials to tell us what we need.

  25. Re:What about ads you can only see here? by jerde · · Score: 3, Funny

    Not to mention the fact that Americans have decided that the penis is the most horrible awful thing that must be shunned at all costs. NEVER allow one on tv.

    Naked ladies are okay though.

    ?

    - Peter

    --
    INsigNIFICANT