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The Walking Dead of Silicon Valley
Frisky070802 writes "CNN has a column about a liquidator who refers to thousands of Silicon Valley startups as the walking dead. It states: 'Pichinson, a self-described "doctor of reality" who helps liquidate companies, says he wouldn't have moved from Los Angeles to Palo Alto a few months ago had he not smelled more high-tech trouble looming.... "There's still another 6,500 to 7,500 companies out there who are among the walking dead."'"
I'm referring to the lame notion that the dorks over at Anti-Slash may actually be chipping away at the enemy. Slashdot is a cesspool of limpdicked self-rightous lameness as we all know. My problem is, as much as I'd love to see Slashdot go down in flames, and as much as the fat pasty I'm-Better-Than-Slashdot geek faggots seem to want the same, I can't seem to bring myself down to their level of karmawhoredom at the moment. Karmawhoring is an "artform" that just seems to reek of sucking AIDS-ridden cock. Yet both myself and these losers have the same noble goal. I certainly have the skills and the resources to wreak havoc, but at what cost? I'm at a crossroad to help them or crapflood their site (something which they say they will fix... kinda sounds like Slashdot's "lameness" filter). In the fight against evil, is it worth it to team with a dark side to fight another dark side? This is my quandry. I must meditate on this.
With a twinkle in his eye and a skip in his step, RMS slammed his sky-blue Chevette's rusted-out car door and turned on heel toward the MIT Zoo entrance. Today was a Sunday, and RMS had decided the daily stresses of Free Software, the GPL, and his crazy drug-smoking habits could go away for just one afternoon while he enjoyed the zoo.
"That'll be twenty-five dollars, sir," the lady at the admission booth said glumly. She looked at RMS expectantly.
"I was expecting this zoo to be Free," RMS stated loudly, eyes darting around to gauge onlookers' reactions. There were none: RMS's capital F had went unnoticed. "Can you ensure me that this money will not help fund --"
The admissions lady cut him off. "Twenty-five dollars, or twenty bucks with a Mr. Pibb can," the lady cut in.
With a grumble and shake of his beard, RMS handed over twenty five of his hard-earned dollars. Considering that the GPL works to unemploy programmers, one must wonder where this money came from.
By evening, RMS found himself in front of the penguin exhibit. He felt himself start to sweat, which would have been no surprise -- his thick, full, grizzly beard was worth a thousand down comforters -- except that he was wearing only a pair of nylon biking shorts and a travel pack around his waist. He stared at his hands. What was wrong?
"Awk" a nearby bird squawked. RMS wheeled in the direction the screech had come from. He was met with the steely, unfeeling stares of a penguin. "Awk! Ooooh God, the penguin said awk... Lord, lord lord, it's GNU/Linux. The penguin is Tux!!!" RMS blurted out. He felt dizzy, and cold sweat now washed over his brittle, hairy chest. He looked this way and that. From nearby a bird again squawked.
"Awk! Awk! Awwwwk!!!"
RMS ran as fast as his atrophied hippy-programmer legs could carry him, right through a gate and into an exhibit. He realized what he had done, and before he could turn around, he heard a low, ominous sound. Like the Devil's riding mower.
"Moooooooooooooooo"
RMS gasped and darted his eyes around him as he stood deathly still.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
RMS was standing in the Gnu section, and it seemed these bull yaks were in rut and ready to mate with the first hairy thing with a hole in its center they found. Bad luck for RMS and his beard. Just then he felt cloven hooves push him down, and the world became fuzzy. RMS blacked out and remembered no more.
I do not fail it!
I take offense to this headline. I'm a zombie you insensitive clod!
He's the Dotminator.
I am a Muslim living in the UK! I hate you stupid fat Americans! You guys can't spell and your all fat and you have no culture!
Islam is treated with fear and respect hear so fuck you stupid fat Americans!
My non-America slachdot brothers! Let us all join together and tell these American's to go fuck it! Everyone who hates stupid fat American post here!
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a cheerleader
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for US Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the US surplus and effectively bankrupted the US Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in US history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the US stock market.
I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.
After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a US president.
In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in US history.
I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I've broken more international treaties than any president in US history.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I am the first president in US history to order
A hostage negotiator is largely a psychologist, and psychologists are fairly good with people in denial.
:)
Someone should assign one of those hostage negotiators to GWB's crew
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
Edgar Frog: I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.
I, Dreadlord, shall put my curse upon you, and let my army of the undead have revenge, so you never post insults about us, the undead.
The IT section color scheme sucks.
You have to love this one. So would using your instead of you're count as a spelling mistake? Oops, don't feed the trolls.
Whoops, they're in Utah these days, aren't they?AAA
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
I hope to use that meme more frequently in my deepest moments of spacing out. I do believe there are so many walking dead amongst us that we subconsciously block them out of our perceptions. This line of thinking would justify my belief that the United States economy really is in the shitter, we just suffer from irrational exhuberance. Something has got to give.