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Bush To Announce Manned Trip To Moon, Mars

edmunz writes "Foxnews just placed an article on their website saying that Bush is expected to make an announcement towards the middle of next week, proposing a manned mission to Mars as well as a return to the moon. Bush hopes to spark a renewed public interest in space exploration. No mission would happen any time soon, rather a preparation of over a decade would take place before the first men/women set out to explore Mars."

63 of 1,595 comments (clear)

  1. Who to send...how many to send... by inertia187 · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's too bad there isn't a "Survivor" series in the works: "Who Will You Vote off the Planet?"

    "Survivor Planet Wide Edition"

    --
    A programmer is a machine for converting coffee into code.
    1. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by madmancarman · · Score: 5, Funny
      It's too bad there isn't a "Survivor" series in the works: "Who Will You Vote off the Planet?"

      Can we start with people on this planet?

      --
      First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. -- Gandhi
    2. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by ad0gg · · Score: 5, Funny

      Better yet based off the "Joe Millionaire" show, Send a bunch of people too the moon with one "pilot" and 1 return space craft that has room for 2 people, the pilot and someone else. They have to win the pilots choice to who goes home. Jokes on them since the pilot is really just a construction worker from LA.

      --

      Have you ever been to a turkish prison?

    3. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by Saven+Marek · · Score: 2, Funny

      > "Who Will You Vote off the Planet?"

      I think you have a fantastic idea. Can we start with the loosers from next year's American Idol?

      swimsuit 2003

    4. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by Cobranzino · · Score: 2, Funny

      Actually, this isn't an entirely bad way to fund a fraction of the mission. Have like, some kind of a "who wants to be the first on Mars" TV show were the best and brightest compete to have one (1) seat on the mission to Mars. Make the network that gets this show pay oodles of cash.

    5. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by Saven+Marek · · Score: 2, Funny

      Actually, this isn't an entirely bad way to fund a fraction of the mission. Have like, some kind of a "who wants to be the first on Mars" TV show were the best and brightest compete to have one (1) seat on the mission to Mars. Make the network that gets this show pay oodles of cash.

      We may do better in reverse. Send only the dumber ones by the time we get it right and can guarantee more than a miniscule level of survival, we will send the smart ones

      swimsuit 2003

    6. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by jeffehobbs · · Score: 1, Funny


      Can we start with people on this planet?

      Can we start with Bush?

      ~jeff

    7. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by BESTouff · · Score: 1, Funny

      Guess what ? People will actually be given the right to vote Dumbya out of the White House.

    8. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by PainKilleR-CE · · Score: 2, Funny

      To draw a logical conclusion from your statement, in order for your choice of candidate to be voted in, something like, oh, a literacy test would have to be instituted?

      I thought the votes in Florida showed that the ballot is a literacy test.

      --
      -PainKilleR-[CE]
    9. Re:Who to send...how many to send... by superyooser · · Score: 2, Funny

      Also on Clinton's watch... Don't forget the FIRST terrorist bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993, which killed six people.

  2. And.. by dswensen · · Score: 3, Funny

    Cue flood of "Bush Invades Mars" and WMD jokes in 3...2...1...

    1. Re:And.. by prockcore · · Score: 5, Funny

      (although someone should explain to Bush that there aren't any fossil fuels on a planet devoid of fossils)

  3. Huh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    So did we find oil on the moon and on Mars or something?

    1. Re:Huh? by SB5 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Actually no, Sean O'Keefe whispered into Dubya's ear that video from Bin Laden's latest tape looks surprisingly like the images we are getting back from the rovers.

      --
      If what you are reading sounds funny, or sarcastic, lame, or stupid
      it is because it is supposed to be. just laugh
    2. Re:Huh? by Pseudonym · · Score: 5, Funny

      However, a minor British bureaucrat has uncovered evidence that a Martian official tried to buy illudium from Venus, which could mean that Marvin has an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator programme underway.

      --
      sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
  4. Conflicted slashdotters... by Cyno01 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Hate bush so much but want to find hot alien babes someday..."*head explodes*

    --
    "Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
  5. Great by j1r3 · · Score: 2, Funny

    now bush plans to invade the moon and mars... tsk tsk tsk...

  6. Sadam by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    We could have made a little commado raid to Iraq, grabbed Sadam and spend the remaining $B179.99 sending him to Mars.

    1. Re:Sadam by drooling-dog · · Score: 5, Funny

      Better yet, if Cheney could get any intelligence reports to hint that the Martians might have weapons of mass destruction, then the sky's the limit as far as the budget goes. And Halliburton could get the contract!

    2. Re:Sadam by centauri · · Score: 2, Funny

      These jokes just never get old.

      --
      Don't blame me, I voted for Durga.
    3. Re:Sadam by Zog+The+Undeniable · · Score: 1, Funny

      Of course the Martians have no WMDs. Cheney hasn't sold them any yet.

      --
      When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
  7. In a related story... by mabu · · Score: 5, Funny


    Halliburton has just started a new manned-space-exploration division.

  8. Re:let's get this out of the way first by Pseudonym · · Score: 5, Funny

    Didn't you get the memo? "All these worlds are yours except Europa."

    --
    sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
  9. Re:Isn't he by goon+america · · Score: 4, Funny
    We'll put Rumsfeld in charge of the whole thing!
    REPORTER: What will happen when we touch down?
    RUMSFELD: An explosion of joy will greet our astronauts!
  10. Re:Isn't he by SWPadnos · · Score: 5, Funny

    This plan will be called "No Planet Left Behind".
    It will be an unfunded mandate that NASA must establish a base on the moon and Mars, or lose its funding.

    --
    - The Sigless Wonder
  11. Re:One day long ago by John+Jorsett · · Score: 4, Funny
    Remember when conservatives were all about limiting government spending? Wow. what the hell ever happened to that party?

    The Democrats succeeded in convincing us that the solution to all problems is to throw more money at them, and that the measure of our concern over an issue is how much we spend on it. Plus, we Republicans are all old farts and realize that when the bill comes due, we'll be dead and the young liberal kids are going to be stuck with the tab, so IT'S PARTY TIME! Give me my medicare, free drugs, and senior citizen discounts!

  12. Shoot the moon by shubert1966 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got first dibs on the cryo-unit next to Sigourney Weaver!

    "HAL."
    "Yes Dave."
    "Tell Houston we're a little behind." :)!

    --
    Stuff that matters.
  13. Let me guess... by ndogg · · Score: 1, Funny

    Someone told him that the Martians have WMDs and oil, right?

    --
    // file: mice.h
    #include "frickin_lasers.h"
  14. Re:Can we say... by ultramk · · Score: 0, Funny

    (after Bush is re-elected or someone else is elected)

    I think you mean "after Bush or someone else is elected."

    You need to be elected at least once to be re-elected.

    m-

    --
    You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
  15. Re:For the history books by finkployd · · Score: 2, Funny

    A new epoch is about to begin.


    Bring it on. This current epoch is getting old. :)

    Finkployd

  16. Living on Mars would suck by Jorkapp · · Score: 5, Funny

    The only ISP would be -Earthlink-

    --
    Frink: Nice try floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing, and scrubbing is what you shall do.
  17. Mars News Alert by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Information points to Osama hiding out on Mars. Martians believed to be unwilling accomplices. Operation Martian Freedom is in the works.

  18. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by TexVex · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah, and then two of of these married couples who are not married could have a bastard son and name him Michael. Then, when the mission falls apart and everybody winds up dead, the boy will be raised by Martians and eventually return to Earth to bring us back to God, Martian style.

    --
    Fun with Anagarams! LADS HOST, SHALT DOS. HAS DOLTS. AD SLOTHS, HATS SOLD. ASS HO, LTD.
  19. WMDs by waa · · Score: 2, Funny

    We have proof that the Martians have extensive Weapons of Mass Distruction programs that pose an IMMEDIATE threat to the US, therefore we must go there and disarm them before they can harm us.

    --
    Windows is not the answer.
    Windows is the question.
    The answer is "NO."
  20. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by uncoveror · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't know what Bush hopes to find on Mars, but he wants to go back to the moon for the green cheese.

    --
    The Uncoveror: It's the real news.
  21. So let him go! by ediron2 · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...saying that Bush is expected to make an announcement towards the middle of next week, proposing a manned mission to Mars as well as a return to the moon...
    Good riddance. How soon can he leave?!
  22. Re:let's get this out of the way first by djupedal · · Score: 2, Funny

    To my knowledge, nobody has built a functioning Crushinator yet.

    I'm just taking a real wild guess here. You're not married, are you....

  23. Re:Isn't he by Joey7F · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wait, how does this work, we like Nasa, and like people who support Nasa, but we don't like Bush...I don't understand?

    --Joey

  24. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by eyegone · · Score: 4, Funny

    Put 'em right beside the telephone sanitizers.

    --
    "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
  25. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by Raul654 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Good idea - you should write a book.

    --


    To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
    --E.C. Stanton
  26. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's refreshing to see great minds at work at Slashdot foreseeing future complications in space travel.

    Unprofessional attitudes are certainly a threat to any mission's success. But never fear, with married couples coexisting in cramp quarters, such problems will easily be avoided. No arguments as to who prepares the freeze dried dinners. Issues of professional competitiveness will be done away with as more wholesome, productive concerns such as spousal jealousy or when Betty has her special time the month complete with a homicidal fit.

    Well, at least we'll have the comfort knowing we'll have advanced technologies at our disposal such as plasma drive systems, antigravity, replicators, Vulcan science officers, and possibly even Seven of Nine.

    Get out some, boy. That thing called reality is calling again.

  27. Re:let's get this out of the way first by originalTMAN · · Score: 2, Funny
    "Which is why I'm encouraging my kids to either pursue mechanical engineering or aerospace tech; I want them OFF this planet as soon as its possible."

    As soon as you're 18, you're out the airlock!

  28. GW Could Save Precious Campaigning Time... by horati0 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...if he just condensed all his recent "victories" into one large slogan, ie

    Saddam Hussein to pilot specially-crafted WMD to Mars, thanks to tax cuts and a reduced deficit! Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

    --
    The neutrality of this sig is disputed.
  29. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by YetAnotherLogin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Forget the flamewars! What about the smell! OW, THE SMELL!!!

  30. Dubya and the moon... the real reason by GISGEOLOGYGEEK · · Score: 3, Funny

    He's run out of places in Iraq to search for all those weapon's of mass destruction.

    --
    George Bush + Linux = "I will not let information get in the way of the fight against Windows"
  31. Re:Excellent time to give NASA a goal by Allen+Varney · · Score: 2, Funny
    Sending a few of our kind to explore a whole new world (literally) at the cost of their "premature" deaths is an extremely trivial thing in that light - if the rest of us could stomach it as individuals.

    Okay, you first. I promise I'll stomach your sacrifice.

  32. Re:2004 - the solution !! by z3ngine · · Score: 2, Funny


    Rename "Europa" to "Hoth" - an ice planet people HAVE heard of !! It would fit in nicely with Bush' pressure on Australia to join the Star Wars program.

    z3ngine.

    PS: yes, I realise Europa is a moon and Hoth is a (ficticious) planet.

    --


    I therefore think I am.
  33. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by jacksonh · · Score: 5, Funny

    get along or be married couples because you cant have both.

  34. Re:Excellent time to give NASA a goal by madcow_ucsb · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well I doubt it'll happen soon, but I think he's referring to volunteers (and I don't doubt that there'd be *lots*). So we're not grabbing a bum off street and strapping a rocket to his ass and saying "have a nice life".

    That said, I'm 23 now and *really* hope to see us set foot on another planet in my lifetime (whether it's under the Bush administration or anyone else). It doesn't get much cooler than that.

  35. Hey, I have something to cheer you up by freeweed · · Score: 3, Funny

    Bush has no interest in men on Mars, this is a political statement designed to make him look "presidential" in the JFK way

    Well, JFK didn't really mean it either. He had no interest in the moon, and it never would have happened except for one thing: he got assassinated.

    So here's the deal. Those of us that actually want to see a Mars mission, let's wait. If Bush makes his announcement, we ice him a few months later. The nation can then spend the next few years trying to "honour the vision of a slain president".

    And hopefully, it'll give you something to smile about, instead of whining about every possible thing you can think of :)

    --
    Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
  36. Re:$1 trillion? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The reason the mission ended (and the reason that the Spirit and Opportunity missions will end, if everything goes well): dust gathering on the solar cells until they can no longer provide enough electricity for the vehicle to function.

    So we can create robotic hands that search for life, but we can't create a robotic hand that would wash solar panels clean?

    Or it that the reason why we have been searching for water?

  37. Columbus was going to India by Gorimek · · Score: 3, Funny

    Spain reluctantly sends Columbus to America.

    No, they sent him to India. He just mistook America for it..

    Perhaps the Mars explorers will bump into some other, currently unknown object, and colonize that with much resulting merriment.

  38. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by benja · · Score: 2, Funny
    Seriously, the people we send to the moon and especially Mars need to work as a unit and either get along or be married couples.

    It would be even better if both would be possible, although I do appreciate how difficult that would be to find!

  39. Re:For the history books by MyFourthAccount · · Score: 3, Funny

    and hastily write the Versailles Treaty which causes WWII

    Yep, that about sums it up for WWII.

    Gotta love the attention to detail on that conclusion.

  40. Moon base? by kyz · · Score: 2, Funny

    You can't have my moon base! Where else could I hatch my diabolical schemes in peace?

    If you try and take my moon base, I'll shoot you down with my "laser".

    --
    Does my bum look big in this?
  41. Bush wants to Mars? by vinlud · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'd say we send him!

    Now!

    Please?

    --
    Repeat after me: We are all individuals
  42. Re:And refill it with the fine drugs you're on? by ocie · · Score: 2, Funny

    You are completely stark raving sane! How did you find your way to slashdot?

    --
    JET Program: see Japan, meet intere
  43. Re:let's get this out of the way first by Anonymous+Shepard · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yea, we really need cable internet here on Mars. You can't imagine how slow this internet connection is! And the phone bills I get from Marscom....

    --
    I have a life. I really do. I've just chosen to ignore it.
  44. Re:Incredible by azaris · · Score: 3, Funny

    The greatest human endeavor in a five hundred years is about to be announced, and almost every message is griping about cost and how "impractical" it is.

    What great human endeavor happened in 1504? Googles... Ah, this:

    1504 - Columbus uses a lunar eclipse to frighten hostile Jamaican Indians.

    Apparently you mean this is another case of an aggressive authority figure using smoke and mirror acts to impress Americans.

  45. Re:"Who to send" is a serious question! by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 4, Funny

    Good idea - you should write a book.

    Nah, that's a stupid story. I predict that any book with that story would just be long, especially boring, and far more controversial than it's worth the time to read.

    --
    Like what I said? You might like my music
  46. Re:2004 by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 2, Funny

    No sarcasm intended, simple statement of fact. Stop five people on the street and ask them where or what Europa is. Go ahead, I'll wait.

    While you're at it, ask 'em where or what Europe is. I bet you get the same answer...

    I, for one, wouldn't want to make decisions by polling random people on the street.

    --
    Like what I said? You might like my music
  47. Land grab. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    1. land and draw a line in the sand.
    2. drill for natural gas and oil. No environmentalists here.
    3. make a home movie proving we landed there this
    time.
    4. recruit all the old people from the past to run the campaign since we don't trust anybody that didn't do it before.
    5. Build the spaceship by foreign companies and label it "Made in the USA".
    6. import cheap martian workers to work in the US.
    7. steal someone else's quote saying "one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind!" while campaigning for votes.

  48. THS IS SO STRANGE/FUNNY/IRONIC! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The sitting President of the United States of America announces a manned-mission to the Moon, and a manned-mission to Mars, and the majority of SLASHDOT thinks this is a bad idea!!! AM I IN SOME EVIL ALERNATIVE DIMENSION WHERE EVERYTHING IS OPPOSITE OF WHAT IT SHOULD BE!? If so, WHERE'S ALL THE SEX!?!