URLs Patented, Domain Registrars Sued

theodp writes "A newly formed company is suing Network Solutions and Register.com for infringing on its e-mail and domain naming patent, which covers assigning each member of a group a URL of the form 'name.subdomain.domain' and an e-mail address of the form 'name@subdomain.domain.'"

Comments

Stop the World i wana get off

[Cyberglich]

The World has gone mad. Beam be up i am out of here.

Re:Stop the World i wana get off

[mhesseltine]

I'm sorry, but "Beam me up" is a Trademark of Star Trek Enterprises, Inc. For your unauthorised use of this phrase, you owe us a Darl McBridely sum of $699.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Star Trek Enterprises, Inc. Legal Dept.

Re:Stop the World i wana get off

[Lonath]

you owe us a Darl McBridely sum of $699.

You SCO bastards, you killed my son. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Re:Stop the World i wana get off

[gcalvin]

Yeah, exactly, you think you'd ever find an Einstein working in a patent office?

Re:Stop the World i wana get off

[bishiraver]

who signs off on their Ph. Ds?

One of those prestigious, non-accredited colleges you get spam from so often, of course.

Re:Stop the World i wana get off

[Chatterton]

I'm sorry, but "You SCO bastards, you killed my son." is too much like "You Bastard, you killed Kenny." and this is a Trademark of South Park Enterprises, Inc. For your unauthorised use of this phrase, you owe us a Darl McBridely sum of $699.

Thank you for your cooperation.

South Park Enterprises, Inc. Legal Dept.

Patent the patent

[rjstanford]

So when is amazon going to sue them for violating their sue-for-something-obvious-and-not-patentable patent? Not that they were the first to do such a thing, but hey, that never stopped them from getting patents before, right?

[sigh]

Re:Patent the patent

[Frymaster]

this made me think of a business plan!

i'm going to patent the idea that a business plan can be suing people who break alleged patents. then sue all the companies that sue companies for break patents because it breaks my patent.

or something like that.

Re:Patent the patent

[R.Caley]

This joke is in every single thread with the patent icon.

I hope the originator patented the convention of attaching this joke to every patent story.

Getting in early.

[WasterDave]

A good two and a half months before 1st April. Go join the queue. Behind SCO.

Dave

Oh. C'mon!

[holzp]

I just patented freaking letters and numbers. So I am going to sue everyone! Sheesh!

Re:Oh. C'mon!

[pseudochaotic]

Your application itself would have been prior art. But nice try.

They're too late!

[JoshWurzel]

I've already patented the letters U, R, and L! After Microsoft patented 1's and 0's [http://www.theonion.com/onion3311/microsoftpatent s.html], I had to find a way to get even! Now, they can't even spell their own name without paying me.

Oh yeah, and CmdrTaco owes me $0.10 every time he says "CmdrTaco". And $0.50 every time the name "slashdot" appears.

SCO

[roadfeldt]

Is the company named SCO???

SCO

[DarkHelmet]

Darl would be proud!

Fight on, brave righteous patent warriors!

'Bout bloody time!

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

I think that the next patent that ought to be pursued in court is the symbolic representation of language as phonetically derived characters. 'Twas recently discovered to be the proerty of a company forming just next week, to assume such rights.

Re:'Bout bloody time!

[IntelliTubbie]

I think that the next patent that ought to be pursued in court is the symbolic representation of language as phonetically derived characters. 'Twas recently discovered to be the proerty of a company forming just next week, to assume such rights.

You forgot to include the phrases "a system for implementing" and "on a computer."

a system for implementing the symbolic representation of language as phonetically derived characters on a computer

See, much better! Now watch the royalties roll in. BTW, I own the patent on this method, so you should just endorse those royalty checks over to me....

Cheers,
IT

Re:Slightly funnier take

[niko9]

I take issue with the term entrepeneurs, as scum-sucking bottom feeders seems more appropriate, but you get the idea.

Reminds me of an apropos joke:

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One is a scum suking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.

Thank you /bow/ thank you, I'm here every Thursday night at Club Slashdot...

--

India patents zero and binary

[teetam]

In related news, India has decided to patent its invention of zero and the place value number system, which is the basis for decimal, octal, hexadecimal and binary number systems.

Unless all computers in the world switch to Roman numerals soon, India will become the world's wealthiest nation soon!

It's the end of the world as we know it...

[BOFH Supreme]

..and I feel fine.

Seriously, old fat women that go to Wal-Mart and fall on the wet floor have made their way to IT.

Just they are now heads of companies, heads that somehow rocketed up the company's ass so far that they cannot see reality.

*sigh*

STEEEEMPY, YOU EEEDIOT

Re:Slightly funnier take

[Kris_J]

And if you want to comment on the news.com.com article, you can send an email to news@com.com.

G 'n R

[fiftyLou]

"GNR manages the registry, and they're also potential infringers"

G'nR ?? I thought they broke up when Slash went solo.

Take me down
To the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty

Let slip the shysters of war!

[j_presper_eckert]

Sweet Jebus, is this article for real?!?! This makes Amazon's whiny militance about the 1-Click patent look like the wisdom of King Solomon.

What's next...lawsuits claiming infringement on the I.P. rights of the air we're breathing? Jupiter's own Ganymede is going to sue our Moon, claiming that it was first with the "orbiting satellite" patent? Why don't I slap my own brand-name sticker on the friggen _neutron_?

Right...

[ProtonMotiveForce]

Bush: Saddam Hussein must be stopped.
You: Hussein wouldn't have any affiliation with Microsoft would it???

Someone: Hitler was one of the most evil men alive.
You: Hmm. Hitler wouldn't have any affiliation with Microsoft would it???

So I guess what I'm saying here is that you are truly a nerd, my man. A bit of a kook in that you seem to think MS is out to get you, but nerdly none the less. I salute you.

Re:Prior Art Anyone?

[petabyte]

So, anyone have a website log or e-mail from before November 23,1999?

Damn, and this whole Slashdot thing starting on Nov 24th. We're hosed!!

End Sarcasm. :)

Re:Alphabet

[geekoid]

yes, however
'alphanumeric symbols combined to create grammatical constructs on the internet'
will probably be OK.

Future entrepreneurs, this may come in handy:

[kafka93]

With apologies if it's been posted before..

The Prior-Art-O-Matic

I just filed a new patent

[ilovemytruck]

Patent Description: Method for protecting inventions from being replicated by others, allowing the inventor a monopoly on their production. Yay, I just patented the patent. I ownerz the USPTO! Now stupid bastards can't patent obviously prior art ideas!

Re:Suing is evidently a business model

[goon america]

Either way... When did the business model "I created a patent just so I could sue you" a socially acceptable business practice?

You must be European. In the US the doctrine (for the right, at least) is "personal responsibility", which basically means the victim is always at fault.

Re:Not as bad as SCO.

[Tablizer]

.md belongs to the Republic of Moldova

They name countries after fridge leftovers? Is there a Slimistan? Rottovia? Burntoastan? Meltedicecreamatia? Drippingpizzanica? Beercannia?

SCO called...

[Anonymous Coward]

they want their business plan back.

Re:A date even funnier: November 23 1999!!

[Phexro]

If that is the case, I can only assume that the cost of a license is prohibitive.

Ya know Snoop sez...

[Anonymous Coward]

Thees nizzas be fo' shizza

Already patented...

[Tmack]

Microsoft already done that! See This Article. Granted it doesnt cover so many numerical systems, it still covers most computers today.

Tm

I NIHIL I I NIHIL I NIHIL

[marcello_dl]

I I NIHIL I I NIHIL NIHIL I I NIHIL

DEFECTVS SEGMENTATIONIS

Svre, i can manage that. Lvcky that I, as one, live in Italy ;)

Once we've settled the prior art dispvte vvith the Greeks (damn their alphas and betas, by Jove, vve'll have to invade them again), ovr nation shall rise again!

All your ascii are belong to vs.

Re:Slightly funnier take

[Ice_Balrog]

Or another one:

What's the difference between a dead snake on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?

The dead snake has skid marks in front of it.

IAAL

[Anonymous Coward]

I love this country!

Re:Frothing at the mouth

[qeveren]

How can they be underfunded when they're the ONLY government department that makes money? That boggles my mind. :)

Re:proper link

[Anonymous Coward]

I've patented the use of "HTML" in "web pages". You, my friend, are fucked.

Bad Patent Penalties

[IBitOBear]

Any person (examiner) who approves a patent this bad should be forced to stand unprotected in the (newly established) "stoning court" outside the USPTO should their patent failt the slash-dot "that's really stupid" test.

The only thing(s) the patent examiner may use as a shield are the materials he gathered together that he can demonstrate are in support the patent, or the bodies of the person or persons who submitted the patent in the first place. The attendence of those persons is mandatory.

The galery has one half of one hour to act as they see fit... stones varing in size from golf-ball to basketball will be amply provided by the FTC.

Ok, now you gonna get it!

[t0ny]

Thats it. Im patenting the Wheel and the Axel.

All your machinery are belong to me!

Wishing for USA copyright

[SLOGEN]

I just wish my country (Denmark) had a patent-law that could help business' like the american patent-law.

It's clear to me that this patent helps "stimulate the inventive genius" and makes it possible for companies to do do research that would never be done without the patent-law, thus helping the community at large.

Re:Slightly funnier take

[AeroIllini]

Not pantented, persay, but you will certainly need to purchase some real estate first ...

FAO the Patent Office

[Karem Lore]

Hi,

I have been reading with interest the latest (as in the last year or so) patents that you have been granting. I am suprised at your responses and view many having prior art.

I believe that you have a serious problem with your "prior-art" database. I think you should get onto your DBA to sort out why when I enter "URL" in the search field it returns "0 results found."

Karem