2003 Vaporware Awards

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Posted by CmdrTaco on Tuesday January 20, 2004 @05:00AM from the annual-traditions dept.

7x7 writes "Wired News has the 2003 Vaporware Awards available for your perusal. Winning the Lifetime Achievement Award, if you hadn't guessed already: Duke Nukem Forever!"

31 of 502 comments (clear)

probably best left on the drawing board... by sweeney37 · 2004-01-20 05:01 · Score: 4, Funny

Perhaps someone should comprise a list of things that should of been vaporware, for the sake of corporations that stupidly put them out and consumers who shelled out cash for them. NGage anyone?

Mike
1. Re:probably best left on the drawing board... by Hes+Nikke · 2004-01-20 05:26 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Perhaps someone should comprise a list of things that should of been vaporware, for the sake of corporations that stupidly put them out and consumers who shelled out cash for them. NGage anyone?
  
  the 1st thing on my list would be Diakatana. *shudder*
  
  the 2nd thing on that list would be Microsoft Bob *shudder*
  
  anyone else got something?
  
  --
  Don't call me back. Give me a call back. Bye. So yeah. But bye our, well, but alright we are on a shirt this chill.
2. Re:probably best left on the drawing board... by geomon · 2004-01-20 05:47 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  the 1st thing on my list would be Diakatana. *shudder*
  
  I was never lucky enough to have played this particular game. I did a web search for the name and came up with this website.
  
  Truly frightning.
  
  --
  "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"
3. Re:probably best left on the drawing board... by Frizzle+Fry · 2004-01-20 07:20 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  I got for christmas this year. Only cost me $2.
  
  Aren't things you get for christmas not supposed to cost you anything?
  
  --
  I'd rather be lucky than good.
So... by CaptainAlbert · 2004-01-20 05:02 · Score: 5, Funny

...do these awards, erm, ever get presented? :)

--
These sigs are more interesting tha
1. Re:So... by DaveJ2001 · 2004-01-20 05:07 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  What awards? This is just the press release, we'll never actually see the real thing...
2. Re:So... by b0r0din · 2004-01-20 05:08 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Yes, according to Duke Nukem's staff, the awards show will be sometime in late, oh, let's just say July of 2004. That seems about right.
3. Re:So... by BlueArchon · 2004-01-20 06:41 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  His sig isn't broken, it's just vaporware...
Duke Nukem Forever by gazuga · 2004-01-20 05:02 · Score: 4, Funny

Winning the Lifetime Achievement Award, if you hadn't guessed already: Duke Nukem Forever!

How do you think it got its name in the first place?

--
"I turn away with fright and horror from the lamentable evil of functions which do not have derivatives."
1. Re:Duke Nukem Forever by cK-Gunslinger · 2004-01-20 05:07 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  But... you can pre-order the game:
  
  Duke Nukem Forever Preorder
  
  Only one more year! =P
2. Re:Duke Nukem Forever by GregWebb · 2004-01-20 06:21 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I always wondered whether 3D Realms have any motor racing anoraks on staff.
  
  When you're looking down a results sheet, you will find some drivers will have 'DNF' printed against their names.
  
  This stands for 'Did Not Finish' :-)
  
  --
  Greg
  (Inside a nuclear plant)
  Aaaarrrggh! Run! The canary has mutated!
missed the vote by grub · 2004-01-20 05:03 · Score: 4, Funny

I would have voted for "SCO's Evidence Against Linux" had the thought crossed my mind.

--
Trolling is a art,
Hurd by neodymium · 2004-01-20 05:03 · Score: 5, Funny

GNU Hurd didn't make it into the list. Odd....:-)
1. Re:Hurd by __past__ · 2004-01-20 05:10 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Maybe you cannot be nominated more then 10 times in a row or so?
  
  --
  Programming can be fun again. Film at 11.
2003 Grand Champion of Vaporwar is.... by macdaddy · 2004-01-20 05:04 · Score: 4, Funny

Weapons of Mass Destruction
Lets give it up for WMD ladies and gentlemen!
*cough* Well, I did say it was Vaporwar. :-)
They quoted... me?!? by downix · 2004-01-20 05:05 · Score: 5, Funny

Come on, out of who knows how many votes for AmigaOS 4, they picked me?

--
Karma Whoring for Fun and Profit.
Pre-Order for Duke Nukem Forever by FraggleMI · 2004-01-20 05:06 · Score: 5, Funny

I think I might have pre-ordered DNF, but I have moved 4 times since, and have a feeling some lucky person will end up with my copy in 2054.

Holy crap, think about, all those people that pre-ordered will end up buying another copy just because they forgot they preordered.

--
huh?
1. Re:Pre-Order for Duke Nukem Forever by siphoncolder · 2004-01-20 07:10 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Interesting. In racing, DNF is short for "Did Not Finish". Go figure.
  
  --
  i'm amazed that i survived - an airbag saved my life.
I nominate by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-20 05:07 · Score: 5, Funny

HTML standards-compliant Slashcode. ;)
Next Slashdot poll by C_Kode · 2004-01-20 05:09 · Score: 5, Funny

I think we should take a poll to rename the word "Vaporware" to "Duke Nukem".

Then next year we can have " the 2003 Duke Nukem Awards"..

Ahh, just a thought...
The definition of vaporware by ooby · 2004-01-20 05:18 · Score: 3, Funny

A Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Duke Nukem Forever on the suggestion of reader Jeff White, who wrote, "First proposed in 1801 (or something close to that), Duke Nukem Forever has now come to define the term 'vaporware.' I wouldn't be surprised if dictionaries actually began printing it: 'vaporware: n. See Duke Nukem Forever.'"

Don't be suprised, Jeff. Wikipedia has bested you
Holy Crap by jacem · 2004-01-20 05:32 · Score: 4, Funny

1) anounce game, setup preorder
2) delay game so long that people forget they pre ordered and buy another copy.
3) Profit!

Its a real busness plan.

JACEM

--
DOC Disinformation Obfuscation and Confusion
The carrot to FUD's stick
A modest announcement by inode_buddha · 2004-01-20 05:39 · Score: 5, Funny

I've recently begun work on the next-generation game engine called "WMD Hunt". Current version is 0.0.001-pre-alpha. Notable changes include leveraging multiple synergies across player groups and enabling your gaming buddies to achieve your goals via graft and military-industrial contracts. Some degree of randomness has been added to account for the "lone strikers" play meme. I'm still trying to speedup and optimise the UN code though - it's slow enough that most players won't be able to use that option. Also, the "relative agression level" needs to be more fine-grained; You could be agressive towards your own relatives, or turn your level down instead of simply having a blanket policy. As opposed to a *real* blanket, if your home was recently destroyed.

--
C|N>K
My vote... by The+Gline · 2004-01-20 05:39 · Score: 3, Funny

There was a product -- I don't remember the name -- which was supposed to be a module you could drop into a conventional 35mm film camera that would turn it into a digital camera. It never materialized, of course.

--
Honorary Member of Jackie Chan's Kung Fu Process Servers
Re:HL2 should not have been #1... by schon · 2004-01-20 05:43 · Score: 5, Funny

How does the stealing of source code delay shipping?

Well DUH! It was stolen. Don't you watch ST:Voyager? When someone downloads something from you (like your EMH), you no longer have it.

If you need further proof of this, just ask anyone in the RIAA or MPAA.
OHHH!!! I got the perfect title for that list by StressGuy · 2004-01-20 05:47 · Score: 5, Funny

[drumroll.....]
.
"Little Piggies That Should Never Have Went to Market"
.
. ....catchy huh?
.

--
A goal is a dream with a deadline
Re:HL2 should not have been #1... by Thai-Pan · 2004-01-20 05:49 · Score: 3, Funny

Agreed. I still have my Team Fortress 2 poster hanging on the wall. At the bottom it says "MARCH" but for the life of my I can't remember what year. I think it was '98 or'99.
Waiiiiiit a minute... by Flakbait · 2004-01-20 05:58 · Score: 3, Funny

President George W. Bush's weapons of mass destruction
I don't get it. If Prez Bush doesn't have WMD, then what do we have in all those silos in Montana?

--
-Flakbait
Temporary Minister of Propoganda for the Assyrian Empire
Add Longhorn to the list by DesScorp · 2004-01-20 06:10 · Score: 3, Funny

At this rate, it'll get here in, oh, I don't know, 2012.....

--
Life is hard, and the world is cruel
Duke Nukem Forever by euxneks · 2004-01-20 07:38 · Score: 4, Funny

I wonder if they'll put that on the box, if/when it ever comes out:

"Duke Nukem winner of _many_ vaporware awards!"

--
in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
Re:Definition by RGRistroph · 2004-01-20 08:08 · Score: 4, Funny

I'll post one shortly ! Don't anyone else respond to this, because you'll be wasting the effort.