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What to Get My Geek for Valentine's Day?
A reader writes "Help!!! I've been dating my geek for three months and I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So I thought I'd ask the men of Slashdot what they would want as a Valentine's Day gift. I'm looking for something out of the ordinary that will knock his socks off. Somthing clever, crafty and unique. The budget is $100. My geek's interests are typical geek fare, games, computers, music and gadgetry. So! You, men of Slashdot, tell me what you would want to recieve for Valentine's day and help me make my geek happy."
A blowjob
Sometimes the best answer is the most obvious. Depending how "far" you are into your relationship, give him a hand/blow/rim job he won't forget. Spend the $100 on yourself. Problem solved.
http://www.realdoll.com
these always win my heart
iis spelled "manfeces" you limey nazi fagfuck
Bah! Blowjobs are probably too common. Take it in the ass for change!!!
She can't have too much brains if she's asking here for advice.
Lots of people have already said sex and blowjob, so why not get a boob job? I know that's a Valentine's Day present I would enjoy!
Better than a blow job is a butt plug like this.
I, for one, welcome our new evil blowjob-giver overlordessesss.....
Yes! I listen to NYC Speedcore and do math at 3AM. I suggest you try it too.
What a Geek Needs for vDay is a girlfriend that wants to have sex with him. However, if no girlfriend is available then some hand lotion, a bit of lipstick, a doll wig, and those doll eyes where the pupils move around, and some ventriloquist lessons: "Let me suck your huge hairy purple, engorged manhood" and "OK stud are you ready to shove your battering ram into my quivering jim-jams." Exception Scottish geeks should just put the lipstick on a sheep.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
yeah, if he's not putting objects in her colon, he's not doing it right.
nothing better than ass-fucking a geek girl. particularly if it's against her will.
I think you mean analingus. This is slashdot you know.
give him a blow job
After you smoke his cock, teabag him then surprise him with a $699 license.
You can get a 50 spindle for $100. And when he's used up the disks, and he's not around, you can pleasure yourself with it.
Best Buy can have you arrested
How about some time with a local hooker.
If yer significant other is one of those barely hygenic linux freaks with the overly long finger nails, why not find him another chubby goth chick like yourself to roll around in the bed with on that oh so special corporation created holiday?
It's something he'll probably never have the chance of experiencing again and it'll save you a hundred bucks.
Cartman's Mom: Give him a rim job!
Kyle's Mom: What's a rim jawwwwwb?
Cartman's Mom: It's where you put your legs behind your head and someone licks your...
Erin Go Bragh!
Maybe you should get him some *BSD CDs. They'll probably be worth something someday (as a curiosity), since *BSD is dying.
.005% of internet servers. "It's just not reliable," said Christine McGee, VP of Technology for eBay, Inc. "Nor do we find it a very modern OS. I would recommend Linux to anyone contemplating a server OS, or maybe Windows, before I would recommend a BSD."
See this article for proof:
Yet another awful blow has struck what's left of the *BSD community, as a soon-to-be-released report by an independent commission doing a year-long study concludes: *BSD is dead and mummified. Here are some of the commission's findings:
Fact: the *BSDs have balkanized yet again. There are now no less than twelve separate, competing *BSD projects, each of which has introduced fundamental incompatibilities with the other *BSDs, and frequently with Unix standards. Average number of developers in each project: fewer than five. Average number of users per project: there are no definitive numbers, but reports show that all projects are on the decline.
Fact: Apple is quietly changing the base kernel for OS X from *BSD to Linux. Insiders report that Apple's technical leadership has grown tired of the licensing battles and is seeking a more modern license; they find Linux's license more appealing. Many Apple technology experts -- from OS developers all the way up to Steve Jobs -- find Linux to be a more advanced OS, which will enable Apple to release a more mature product. The frequent hallway arguments and fistfights among the *BSD developers Apple has hired has also contributed to the decision.
Fact: XFree86 is dropping support for *BSD. The remaining core group believes that the *BSDs have strayed too far from Unix standards and have become too difficult to support along with Linux and Solaris x86. "It's too much trouble," said one anonymous developer. "If they want to make their own standards, let them doing the porting for us."
Fact: Many user-level applications will no longer work under *BSD, and no one is working to change this. The GIMP, a Photoshop-like application, has not worked at all under *BSD since version 1.1 (sorry, too much trouble for such a small base, developers have said). OpenOffice, a Microsoft Office clone, has never worked under *BSD and never will. ("Why would we bother?" said developer Steven Andrews, an OpenOffice team lead.)
Fact: servers running OpenBSD, which claims to focus on security, are frequently compromised. According to Jim Markham, editor of the online security forum SecurityWatch, the few OpenBSD servers that exist on the internet have become a joke among the hacker community. "They make a game out of it," he says. "(OpenBSD leader) Theo [de Raadt] will scramble to make a new patch to fix one problem, and they've already compromised a bunch of boxes with a different exploit."
Fact: NetBSD, which claims to focus on portability (whatever that is supposed to mean), is slow, and cannot take advantage of multiple CPUs. "That about drove the last nail in the coffin for BSD use here," said Michael Curry, CTO of Amazon.com. "We took our NetBSD boxes out to the backyard and shot them in the head. We're much happier running Linux."
Fact: There are almost no FreeBSD developers left, and its use, according to Netcraft, is down to a sadly crippled
Fact: DragonflyBSD, yet another offshoot of the beleaguered FreeBSD "project", is already collapsing under the weight of internal power struggles and in-fighting. "They haven't done a single decent release," notes Mark Baron, an industry watcher and columnist. "Their mailing lists read like an online version of a Jerry Springer episode, complete with food fights, swearing, name-calling, and chair-throwing." Netcraft reports that DragonflyBSD is run on exactly 0% of internet servers.
With these incontroverible facts staring (what's left of) the *BSD community in the face, they can only draw one conclusion: *BSD is dead and mummified.
Natalie Portman covered in hot grits?
Hey... at least it'd make for an interesting /. post. "Hey, guys!!! You'll never guess what I got for Valentine's Day!!!"
Too bad he'd be modded -1, Troll ;-)
Girlfriend? This is /. Nothing but faggots here.
One of the coolest gadgets I have ever owned is a green laser pointer - got it about 4 months ago. It's truely amazing and gets oohs and ahs too from other geek friends.
eBay is probably the cheapest place to get one but thinkgeek has them too.
Everyone knows you're not serious about ThinkGeek.
I just did a search on ebay for "green laser pointer" and 53 auctions came up. Which one is yours?
sex gets you.
i'm guessing you're a dog.