Posted by
michael
on from the burial-not-exactly-the-right-word dept.
roman_mir writes "Celestis is the name of a company that is offering space burials for some $11K USD. Isn't this nice, like there is not enough garbage in space already... So, how many of you want to be buried in space? I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"
For some reason this reminds me of the infomercial from Total Recall.. Their video is funny, very late 80's - 90's..
-Aaron Mitti
Special 'Delivery' Instructions
by
PakProtector
·
· Score: 5, Funny
PS: Please aim at the section of space that in the 23rd century will be off limits to all spacefarers, in which resides the Genesis planet. Please make sure to also provide good embalming and a capsule capable of shielding body from cosmic rays.
--
Edward@Tomato -/home/Edward/ man woman
man: no entry for woman in the manual.
"Qua!?"
Woah, dude. Seriously, have you EVER even talked to a girl?
I have. Then we got married so I don't have to talk to her anymore. I'm in the basement playing computer games at 9am on this lovely President's Day holiday.
Take down a space station
by
Jad+LaFields
·
· Score: 5, Funny
To much garbage in space? Man that would my point for being 'buried' in space... to become a potentially dangerous piece of space debris! It would be like coming back from the dead to strike fear in the hearts of the living!
-- [SIG] It's like putting a moose in the blender -- a recipe for disaster!
Re:Take down a space station
by
BuckaBooBob
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Hmm.. Getting 'buried' in a near vacuum... What a concept... Did military intelligence come up with this? or some other Oxymoronish organization? I should sign up for this then in my will leave all my money to attorneys to sue the pants off them for actually just tossing my body into space to drift and leave all the proceeds to the Open Source Community.
-- Who needs WiFi when we can have Packet Over Sheep!
http://datacomm.org/PoS-InternetDraft.txt
Re:Take down a space station
by
fireboy1919
·
· Score: 2, Funny
I personally plan to become a radioactive monster with poisonous radioactive breath that can only be stopped by trapping it in a ship and sending it into the deep space.
It's a lot cheaper than your plan, and I still get the added bonus of the fear-striking thing.
-- Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
Re:Take down a space station
by
fireboy1919
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Oh, and by the way, it also leaves me open for coming back in the sequel, where the ship is picked up by some garbage collectors in the distant future and I wreak havoc on a space station 500 years from now before finally being launched into the sun where I am finally and completely destroyed, leaving no hope for another sequel with me in it.
However, the radioactive eggs that I probably laid at the time could end up hatching and once again striking the fear into the hearts of the living.
I got it all worked out. I'm looking forward to my afterlife.
-- Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
So would launching at the sun count as space cremation?
--
---
I'm going to get a score of -1 for this post because the mods are fuckers.
Re:Broadcasting dead...
by
DarthWiggle
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· Score: 5, Funny
so, like, Space Spam?
You want to burn in the Sun?
by
skyhawker
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· Score: 5, Funny
No problem. Just get buried here on earth. Eventually, your wish will be granted. And since you're dead, the wait will be quite bearable.:-)
--
The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank. -- Scotty.
Re:You want to burn in the Sun?
by
polymath69
·
· Score: 4, Funny
No problem. Just get buried here on earth. Eventually, your wish will be granted.
Exactly. Once the sun goes red-giant, its radius will be far larger
than the orbital distance of this little planet. So everyone's bones will eventually wind up toast.
Worried about global warming? Now that's global warming.
--
-- I don't want to rule the world... I just want to be
in charge of mayonnaise.
I bet not many people will want to...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 5, Funny
...burn in Uranus.
Re:I bet not many people will want to...
by
darnok
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· Score: 3, Funny
No, but Uranus would burn if there were people in it
This would be a great way to test the Missle Defense System. I don't know about anyone else, but personally I wouldn't mind being put to rest in a big explosion at the cost to the U.S. taxpayer.
This is cool...
by
John+Seminal
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· Score: 1, Funny
Then aliens can find me floating around in space and use their technology to bring me back to life.
--
Rosco: "If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose."
Bad idea
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 5, Funny
So when Armageddon arrives and all those dead try to rise from their graves while orbiting some far-off celestial body, how's THAT gonna work? It's almost like these guys haven't thought this whole thing through very well.
You would think for 11K a pop, they could hire a web designer with some talent to make a quality website!!
Re:Broadcasting dead...
by
calmdude
·
· Score: 5, Funny
What would one say on one of these things?
A) I'm coming home momma!
B) Please rectally probe the following people who bullied me in school...
C) Please view the accompanying transmitted picture... does this dress make me look fat?
Keeping up with the Glens'
by
thecountryofmike
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· Score: 2, Funny
Great, now my neighbors can be better than me even when they die.
These guys will PAY for your space burial!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 5, Funny
These guys are willing to pay up to $10,000,000 of your funeral expenses, provided you get your corpse up there yourself!
Re:Only so much carbon...
by
whereiswaldo
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· Score: 4, Funny
The amount of mass being launched is measured in the hundreds of kilograms per year.
The amount of mass falling onto the earth from space is measured in the hundreds of tons per day.
What sorts of stuff are we launching and what sorts of stuff is falling onto the Earth? Maybe we're trading titanium for sand. Not that I think we have to worry - just a thought.
Still, maybe launching yourself into space could prevent you from being brought back to life someday. Then again, maybe you'd be brought back to life to fight some losing battle against aliens...;)
Re:Broadcasting dead...
by
Greg@UF
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· Score: 5, Funny
I want to say "This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off"
-- -- You can't give it, you can't even buy it, and you just don't get it!
Re:Broadcasting dead...
by
Veridium
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· Score: 5, Funny
Yes, exactly. This will be an excellent way to get aliens to visit us. Once they hear we have penis enlargement pills, breast enlargement pills, and all natural herbal viagra alternatives, they'll be pouring in.
-- Think for yourself, destroy your television.
Re:Only so much carbon...
by
Yorrike
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· Score: 5, Funny
True as that may be, people are getting fatter...
Say a group of zombies, or ninjas, or a killer virus that turned people into zombie ninjas, caused a good 5 billion people to die. Sure, these guys would have a booming business, but at 70Kg for each corpse, that's 350,000,000,000Kg (350 billion), which would require a millennium to replaces with space dust.
And besides, if you're ejecting all those kadavas into space, you're just asking the aforementioned virus to evolve, giving rise to a hideous race of mutant space zombie-ninjas.
Zombies need to eat too.
--
Looks can be deceiving. Or CAN they?
Save your ashes for a better use
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1, Funny
I want mine thrown into Bill Gates' face.
Enterprise has buried Trek too
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1, Funny
..and now that he's gone, Enterprise has buried Trek in space.
Do we have to wait?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1, Funny
Can we send up Michael while he's still alive?
Life on other planets?...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 5, Funny
Years from now, i can see a space rover, digging up bodies on venus thinking "holy god, there was life here once"...
Re:Broadcasting dead...
by
GigsVT
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· Score: 3, Funny
Heh, I once had a ham radio friend of mine with a 1500 watt microwave setup shoot my callsign into space, for the heck of it.
And for even more kicks, you'll be happy to know this message came to you via a satellite in geostationary orbit.
Yes, the 600ms ping time does suck, but at least I can annoy people on IRC by saying, "GREETINGS FROM OUTER SPACE"!:)
-- I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
Visible from Earth
by
sielwolf
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· Score: 2, Funny
Screw shooting me into the Sun, shoot me to the moon on the non-Dark Side. That way generations of my progeny can look up on a starless night and see my cold grimacing corpse smiling down on them.
Yes!
-- What is music when you despise all sound?
Re:Only so much carbon...
by
Have+Blue
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· Score: 3, Funny
If you took all the people in the world and packed them into a box, like sardines, without cremating, that box would have to be about 3/4 mile per side.
Maybe so, but can they all stand on Zanzibar?
Hey, why not be immortalized before your time?
by
Marvelicious
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· Score: 3, Funny
"For those imagining yourself in a coffin in space, try again. Only 7 grams (less than 1/4 of an ounce) is sent up in the full version of their "Earthview" service, which involves a craft that projects the ashes out into "orbit" (not exactly one that can be tracked) while the craft itself vaporizes in the atmosphere. A discount version involves only one gram of ashes."
So, the way I see it, I can save 7 grams worth of pubic hair and toenail clippings and send it into space with this outfit and live on in the stars while I'm still here! Not to mention already living on in the city sewer, my girlfriends sheets, etc...
-- Send whiskey and fresh horses!
i have a space venture right here
by
WormholeFiend
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· Score: 2, Funny
for 20$ only, I'll send a few grams of your ashes up in an Estes(http://www.estesrockets.com) powered rocket
wait a few years
by
shawn(at)fsu
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· Score: 5, Funny
"I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"
You can do that for free, just wait about 5 billion years.
-- 500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
Re:Only so much carbon...
by
McCrapDeluxe
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· Score: 2, Funny
You seem to have misplaced a dimension-- namely, the third.
Re:Only so much carbon...
by
Dahan
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· Score: 3, Funny
I'm assuming that the average size of a person is 50cm by 30cm (~1 foot 8 inches by 1 foot)
Hey, how's life down there in Flatland? *sticks fingers through wrmrxxx's plane to mess with him*
In my universe, people are three dimensional; it's like having another degree of freedom!
Re:Broadcasting dead...
by
sadomikeyism
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· Score: 5, Funny
Actually, I can forsee an intergalactic market for human ash pills. Like the chinese penchant for tiger penises and rhino tusks, human ash capsules will be 'herbal viagra'. Considering how much the media act like dick heads all the time, media that is streaming out into space, I am sure the aliens would look at our ash capsules as aphrodesiacs.
-- "Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves
Re:Broadcasting dead...
by
The+Snowman
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· Score: 3, Funny
I wish I hadn't used up all my mod points, that was +1 funny... anyway, who do I talk to about donating my body to science? Seriously, my wife wants to be buried with her family, and I figure science could use my body -- how better to study the effects of alcohol on the human body than to examine my dead body?:-)
-- 24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!
Obligatory Futurama quote:
by
MalikChen
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Reminds me of a Futurama quote, where the crew went to Fry's ancestor's grave in the sky.
"The closest to heaven they'll get..."
What a dumbass!
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 1, Funny
Isn't this nice, like there is not enough garbage in space already...
Yeah, and there's so little space out there we're in danger of filling it all up.
Gosh, we wouldn't want to pollute the hard radiation filled expanse of dust, gas and Sun spew now, would we?
"I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"
Oh i guarantee you will burn in your wholesome completeness sir. Not just that Egomaniacal part. In fact, you won't even get there you'll burn much much sooner.
-- Trolls dont like to be Flamebait, because they burn so well. Protect our Troll heritage!
$50K gets you cryonics & possible future revi
by
Cryofan
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· Score: 2, Funny
You can sign up with www.Alcor.org for a cryonics contract for only 50K (fundable through life insurance payments) and get a chance at a future revival.
And if revived in the distant future, you can ride in a spaceship and look out the window at all those 100K space caskets roaming around space.
Myself, I prefer a chance at life to a certain death....
-- eat shiat and bark at the moon
Worrying about "space garbage"?
by
Futurepower(R)
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· Score: 2, Funny
As long as someone is worrying about "space garbage", there are a few galaxies we need moved. They are blocking the view in that direction.
Re:Just Drop Into the Sun from Sail Ship
by
Moraelin
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· Score: 2, Funny
Do it from a solar sail craft that is hovering over the sun (from a point where light pressure is balanced between gravitational pull), and just drop the body in.
Or just drop the whole thing in, sails and all, and call it a modern day Viking funeral;)
-- A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
like there is not enough garbage in space already...
Oh my God, if we are not careful we could fill all of space with our trash!!! I better hurry and get a bumper sticker for my gas guzzling SUV to express my outrage!
Slashdot Mirror
For some reason this reminds me of the infomercial from Total Recall.. Their video is funny, very late 80's - 90's..
-Aaron Mitti
PS: Please aim at the section of space that in the 23rd century will be off limits to all spacefarers, in which resides the Genesis planet. Please make sure to also provide good embalming and a capsule capable of shielding body from cosmic rays.
Edward@Tomato - /home/Edward/ man woman
man: no entry for woman in the manual.
"Qua!?"
To much garbage in space? Man that would my point for being 'buried' in space... to become a potentially dangerous piece of space debris! It would be like coming back from the dead to strike fear in the hearts of the living!
[SIG] It's like putting a moose in the blender -- a recipe for disaster!
Quoth the poster: "I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"
I know *exactly* how you feel.
I want you to burn in the Sun, too.
I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)
According to my ex-wife I'm gonna burn in hell when I die.
This is what you give your geek on Valentine's Day. You may have to kill them first, but it's worth it.
EVERYDAY IS CATURDAY
So would launching at the sun count as space cremation?
--- I'm going to get a score of -1 for this post because the mods are fuckers.
so, like, Space Spam?
No problem. Just get buried here on earth. Eventually, your wish will be granted. And since you're dead, the wait will be quite bearable. :-)
The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank.
-- Scotty.
...burn in Uranus.
This would be a great way to test the Missle Defense System. I don't know about anyone else, but personally I wouldn't mind being put to rest in a big explosion at the cost to the U.S. taxpayer.
Then aliens can find me floating around in space and use their technology to bring me back to life.
Rosco: "If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose."
So when Armageddon arrives and all those dead try to rise from their graves while orbiting some far-off celestial body, how's THAT gonna work? It's almost like these guys haven't thought this whole thing through very well.
You would think for 11K a pop, they could hire a web designer with some talent to make a quality website!!
What would one say on one of these things?
... does this dress make me look fat?
A) I'm coming home momma!
B) Please rectally probe the following people who bullied me in school...
C) Please view the accompanying transmitted picture
Great, now my neighbors can be better than me even when they die.
These guys are willing to pay up to $10,000,000 of your funeral expenses, provided you get your corpse up there yourself!
The amount of mass being launched is measured in the hundreds of kilograms per year.
;)
The amount of mass falling onto the earth from space is measured in the hundreds of tons per day.
What sorts of stuff are we launching and what sorts of stuff is falling onto the Earth? Maybe we're trading titanium for sand. Not that I think we have to worry - just a thought.
Still, maybe launching yourself into space could prevent you from being brought back to life someday. Then again, maybe you'd be brought back to life to fight some losing battle against aliens...
I want to say "This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off"
-- You can't give it, you can't even buy it, and you just don't get it!
Yes, exactly. This will be an excellent way to get aliens to visit us. Once they hear we have penis enlargement pills, breast enlargement pills, and all natural herbal viagra alternatives, they'll be pouring in.
Think for yourself, destroy your television.
Say a group of zombies, or ninjas, or a killer virus that turned people into zombie ninjas, caused a good 5 billion people to die. Sure, these guys would have a booming business, but at 70Kg for each corpse, that's 350,000,000,000Kg (350 billion), which would require a millennium to replaces with space dust.
And besides, if you're ejecting all those kadavas into space, you're just asking the aforementioned virus to evolve, giving rise to a hideous race of mutant space zombie-ninjas.
Zombies need to eat too.
Looks can be deceiving. Or CAN they?
I want mine thrown into Bill Gates' face.
..and now that he's gone, Enterprise has buried Trek in space.
Can we send up Michael while he's still alive?
Years from now, i can see a space rover, digging up bodies on venus thinking "holy god, there was life here once"...
Heh, I once had a ham radio friend of mine with a 1500 watt microwave setup shoot my callsign into space, for the heck of it.
:)
And for even more kicks, you'll be happy to know this message came to you via a satellite in geostationary orbit.
Yes, the 600ms ping time does suck, but at least I can annoy people on IRC by saying, "GREETINGS FROM OUTER SPACE"!
I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
Screw shooting me into the Sun, shoot me to the moon on the non-Dark Side. That way generations of my progeny can look up on a starless night and see my cold grimacing corpse smiling down on them.
Yes!
What is music when you despise all sound?
If you took all the people in the world and packed them into a box, like sardines, without cremating, that box would have to be about 3/4 mile per side.
Maybe so, but can they all stand on Zanzibar?
Send whiskey and fresh horses!
for 20$ only, I'll send a few grams of your ashes up in an Estes(http://www.estesrockets.com) powered rocket
"I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"
You can do that for free, just wait about 5 billion years.
500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
You seem to have misplaced a dimension-- namely, the third.
Hey, how's life down there in Flatland? *sticks fingers through wrmrxxx's plane to mess with him*
In my universe, people are three dimensional; it's like having another degree of freedom!
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves
I wish I hadn't used up all my mod points, that was +1 funny... anyway, who do I talk to about donating my body to science? Seriously, my wife wants to be buried with her family, and I figure science could use my body -- how better to study the effects of alcohol on the human body than to examine my dead body? :-)
24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!
Reminds me of a Futurama quote, where the crew went to Fry's ancestor's grave in the sky.
"The closest to heaven they'll get..."
Yeah, and there's so little space out there we're in danger of filling it all up.
Gosh, we wouldn't want to pollute the hard radiation filled expanse of dust, gas and Sun spew now, would we?
"I want to burn in the Sun (or at least the egomaniacal part of me.)"
Oh i guarantee you will burn in your wholesome completeness sir. Not just that Egomaniacal part. In fact, you won't even get there you'll burn much much sooner.
Trolls dont like to be Flamebait, because they burn so well. Protect our Troll heritage!
You can sign up with www.Alcor.org for a cryonics contract for only 50K (fundable through life insurance payments) and get a chance at a future revival.
And if revived in the distant future, you can ride in a spaceship and look out the window at all those 100K space caskets roaming around space.
Myself, I prefer a chance at life to a certain death....
eat shiat and bark at the moon
As long as someone is worrying about "space garbage", there are a few galaxies we need moved. They are blocking the view in that direction.
Or just drop the whole thing in, sails and all, and call it a modern day Viking funeral ;)
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
Oh my God, if we are not careful we could fill all of space with our trash!!! I better hurry and get a bumper sticker for my gas guzzling SUV to express my outrage!
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
Ashes to Ashes, Earth to Berth, Dust to Distance.