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Ford Testing a New 'Traffic Monitoring' Device
Poletown writes "The Detroit Free Press put out this article today about a new vehicle based 'traffic monitoring' system that Ford is testing. It will report your speed, the road temperature, whether or not your wipers/headlights are active, and even if you've used your anti-lock brakes. Initially, the system will be tested on Ford-owned and municipal vehicles."
Quick! Someone make me a hat!
no more tittie bar lunches for the Public Works sand trucks anymore I guess...
*shrug*
e.
Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
Visualize it? I hate actually *doing* it enough, now I can virtually do it at home?
From the article: "Slow vehicle speeds with frequent stops would signal traffic congestion, for instance."
uh... it could also signal that my Mom is at the wheel...
No man is an island, but Gary is a city in Indiana.
I'm not going to be car owner anymore...
Now I'm just going to be a user of the Ford Mobile Traffic Network.
But I bet I'll be allowed to opt-out... If I can fill out all the paperwork.
I can just imagine Ford's lawyer's contacting my mechanic for violating the DMCA by diabling my monitoring equipment. I can't WAIT for this stuff to come out :P
I used to live in Atlanta, GA... notorious for bad traffic. Back in the early 90's they installed several large digital billboards that would display important traffic information such as "overturned vehicle at I-85 & I-285... expect delays".
The result of these billboards...
I had something to read while parked on the freeway.
This sounds like history repeating.
Just as irrigation is the lifeblood of the Southwest, lifeblood is the soup of cannibals. -- Jack Handy
Well when I have kids, I'll be permanently affixing wireless webcams to their heads, along with microphones. I certainly wouldn't want to trust them in any way to do what I'd taught them, and I'll be expecting realtime data on all that they see, do, and say.
FORD = Found on road dead
FORD = Fucker only runs downhill
FORD backwards is an acronym for "Driver Returns On Foot."
FORD = First On Recall Day
FORD = Fix Or Repair Daily
FORD = For Oversized Rednick Dicks
Ford Acronyms
Actually you could get in trouble because of this;
BOSS: "So, Planesdragon, I see that you bought twenty-four kegs of beer last weekend... why the HELL wasn't I invited!?!!? Greedy bastard, no raise for you this year!"
The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
Relax people, it's a Ford!
It's not as if any of these vehicles will actually be running long enough to collect any data against their owners.
Honestly, Mr. Minister; I don't know how that $22,000 plasma screen got installed -in my office-, it was meant for the 'meeting room'!
(Actually happened.)
Because the tracking target is positioned just off to the side of the road and not moving.
I had something to read while parked on the freeway.
My favorite was one time I was stranded right outside of Rochester - the billboard which was in front of us kindly informed me about an accident a few miles ahead and suggested that I use "alternative routes". It then proceeded to lecture me about using my cell phone while "driving" (if you could call sitting with the engine off and the vehicle in park driving) and advised that I would be subject to fines if seen doing this.
Of course I promptly whipped out the cell phone and called a few friends to point out how ironic this was ;) Got a dirty look from a State Trooper (who was on foot walking between cars) but no tickets or fines. Guess they had better things to do ;)
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
>When I have kids, I'll expect updates on all their cars' data at regular intervals.
And the one metric I would be looking for would be the "engine off, shock adsorbers experencing extreme stress" indicator.
The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
I'm sure you'd feel that way until you find your car reporting -
-Its been parked by the river for an hour
-The radio is playing
-Strangely, its reporting rough, unpaved roads
Know what I like about atheists? I've yet to meet one that believes God is on their side.
How nice! Our big government brother got himself a little corporate brother.
Congratulations.
Let me see, the same company that is currently producing a ~400 hp SVT Cobra is going to want a report on how fast I'm going? Why, I'm going the legal speed limit! Of course! Seriously, I intend on picking up my Cobra and driving directly to an auto parts store to get the mod chip that transmits a nice fake signal to Ford.
SVT COBRA VIN#12345
WINDSHIELD WIPERS:OFF
HEADLIGHTS: OFF
SPEED: YOUR MOTHER
stuff |
The X10 cam finally finds a home! ;-)
"Bah!" - Dogbert
You are absolutely correct. The "Red Light Camera's" take multiple pictures. One of your car behind the line when the light turns red, one of your license plate and one of you driving.
;-)
The trick is to send them a picture of you writing them a check
"I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance" - Isaac Asimov
For Ford SUVs, it will also report if the vehicle is upside-down.
How bout a tattoo on my forehead of a barcode? Maybe we could have a worldwide company named BEAST do this?
No I didnt spell check this post...
Thanks.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken - Tyler Durden
PD: "Yep. I had a kegger at my house. It's my personal life, and, as you can see, I'm here bright-eyed and bushy-tailed monday morning. So what's it to you?"
BOSS: "Because it's Tuesday, not Monday. Where were you yesterday?"
PD: "D'OH!!"
After they installed cockpit monitoring devices in all vehicles, the insurance companies analyzed the data and found an amazing coincidence. The last words said in 80% of all pickup truck accidents were the same: "Hey, hold my beer and watch this!"
Before anyone flames me: I drive an F-150.
"Shredded cabbage and mayo go good together." Cole's Law
Slightly OT, but the first time I drove through Atlanta, I noticed some of the most amusing billboards I've ever seen. The one that's stuck with me the most:
Don't make me come down there!
--God
IIRC, there were a couple (also attributed to God) regarding rush hour..
End of line..
sorry...couldn't help myself
-k
Your mind moves quicker than a nun's first curry. - A. Rimmer
Let me bring you up to date since you left.
Last year, someone headed back into the city during rush hour crashed into one of those billboards on GA 400 southbound, bringing it down and blocking the entire road well into the evening.
I wasn't there, but I hear people who saw it happen could see the display blinking:
Traffic sign down on GA 400 S & Windward. Use alternate route.
You are checking your backups, aren't you?
Sadly, 1984 hung around.
Send your friends messages of love at fuck-you.org
to spoof that system to make it look like I: Change position instantaneously accross the city; Run backwards on a highway; Run red lights; Drive on the sidewalks; Speed at 1000s of km per hour and break the sound barrier in a school zone...
I live in the midwest and they just started putting them up out here.
I've seen them do 3 things:
- Spew current government safety propoganda. "Buckle Up!" "School has started, watch out for students!" (on the highway?!) "Double fines for speeding in road construction zones!"
- As stated above, give worthless traffic information. "Accident 2 miles ahead." This when you're already stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Or "Accident at xyz intersection", which is the only way to transfer from highway a to highway b and is ALWAYS the one where somebody crashes at 5pm on a Friday.
- Give worthless weather advisories. Lesse, there's an inch of snow on the ground, snow trucks are everywhere and there's a combination of sleet and rain bouncing off your windshield. What's the sign say? "Weather Advisory: Roads may be slick." DUH!
It seems to me that there's a good idea in there SOMEWHERE... but this aint it.
(Oh, and all the signs have cameras in them pointed at both diretions of traffic.)
Just imagine what can be done with all this trackable info? I mean, haven't we learned anything about government abuse of GPS in the way they're hounding that poor Scott Peterson guy in California by tracking his vehicle to the edge of the San Francisco Bay and...
Oh, wait. Let me rethink this....
HA!
I have no idea what this would be, but I am sure I'll be having nightmares about it for the next week or so.
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
Exactly how do you get unplanned road work? Are there gangs of workers driving around who suddenly stop and decide to do some work on the road? "Oh look Bill, here's a nice patch of road! Let's put up a couple roadblocks and dig a hole."