Slashdot Mirror
Real's Reality
"There's also an interesting conversation going on at Jogin.com, which started with this post from the author, basically a rant, describing how inconvenient and even hostile Real Player is. It would be like any other rant, except an employee of Real Networks replied with some insights into the company's wrongdoings and somewhat explained Real's undeterred hostility towards those who downloaded the free version of its player. Furthermore, a consultant, who used to work at Real Networks, replied, sharing some questionable practices Real engaged in, such as hiding a variety of "add-ons" at the bottom of the page, hoping that the user would not scroll down to un-check the selections, and then charging his credit card for add-ons when he signed up for paid version on Real One."
Q: What do microsoft and RealNetworks have in common?
A: It takes a HD format to remove their software.
G-Force music visualization
I know we are all REALLY sad about REAL's demise.. I think it is more to do with their annoying habits of putting themselves in the start menu, the quickstart, the system tray, and anywhere else they can get...
Its a miracle!
webpage
Here's my take on the situation:
*BUFFERING*
I've posted this before, but it's a goodie...
TO: Real Networks
SUBJECT: Fuck You All
I am holding myself back in the most intense way at the moment.
I don't care if this is the wrong address to send this to. Your website is a labyrinth of misdirection in which finding the simple thing you want is nigh-impossible. This, after about 20 clicks, was the first email address I came to. If you, as the person receiving this letter, have a shred of humanity left, you will submit this to the proper people. And now, on to my letter.
Where do you people get off?
My task: download Realplayer in order to view some streaming content. A simple project, one would say. Well, first you have to wade through the aforementioned sea of misdirection, all of it aimed at extracting your visa number to buy the completely useless realplayer plus. I realize you people need to make some money, but save it for the server business - it's bad enough that back in the day, you were inferior to several other streaming technologies, but somehow, like scum in water, you rose to the top. Leave the users who are stuck with your products out of your sick little power games.
All I want is Realplayer Basic, to play realmedia, and ONLY realmedia. I am not interested in realjukebox, realdownloadagent, or realbuttplug. I specified this when I was installing it. I also am not interested in having your inferior product play my mp3s, or any format other than your own. This was also specified when I installed. How difficult a concept is this? Anyone can grasp it. And I won't even get into the god-knows-how-many useless "subscribe to our spam service!" checkboxes I have to uncheck, including five which are HIDDEN AT THE BOTTOM OF A STACK OF UNCHECKED ONES. With each click, the bile rises higher in my throat. If I knew a satanist, I would have him summon demons to terrorize your offices.
So then, I go to launch an mp3 out of Agent, and not only does your software launch even though I SPECIFICALLY TOLD IT NOT TO DO THAT, but it's not even Realplayer - it's Realjukebox which I also SPECIFICALLY TOLD IT NOT TO INSTALL.
And here's the real point: if you're going to go ahead and do a fascist coup of my system's preferences and resources (getting your filthy little icons out of my system tray gets more difficult with each new version), why bother pretending that you are giving me a choice? Just go ahead and take it, save me the trouble of unchecking all those boxes and saying No 20 times. Just go ahead, play your little game, and let me get on with removing your annoying system resource wastes from my pristine desktop.
In closing, I would just like to say that I view your company as the most evil force operating on the internet today, and while I would end this with "may God have mercy on your souls" for anyone else (including Bill Gates), for you, I only pray that the people behind your software's design are raped by syphilitic camels at some point.
Burn in hell.
I always save my last mod point to mod up a good troll. You people are too serious.
Sir, I applaud you... never has such rage been so perfectly vomited into an e-mail.
Did you ever get a reply to this?
I can't seem to read the article...it just says "Buffering, buffering, buffering".
I hate sigs.
I tried to rtfa, but I --buffering--
Boffoonery - downloadable Comedy Benefit for Bletchley Park
fucku@real.com
realplayersucks@realplayer.com
pissoff@real.com
bob@bob.com
bill@microsoft.com
fucku2@real.com
fucku2xwithdonkey@real.com
fuckusidewayswithbroomstick@real.com
At this point I was tired of making creative statements of protest against registration so I gave a fake hotmail account.
Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
Hey, I don't appreciate all of this anti-Real Networks and anti-Microsoft senti...[BUFFERING 0.03%]
"All art is quite useless." -- Oscar Wilde
Now I've heard everything!
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
it has to scan the registry so it can add back the values in case you delete them.
and also to assert why I hate RealNetworks,
The product sucks because it's heavily emcumbered.
I recall when RealPlayer 1.0 came out. I found it, and started downloading it immediately.
Then the next version came out, about... oh, about 12 minutes after my modem finished sucking down the first one. Err...
So, pull that one down, because they changed the format and nothing works with the old one. That one's good for a week, and they have a "cool" version for sale as well.
I'm deciding if I'm going to buy this "cool" version and show my support, only to discover that a "new" version is now out, and the current one is useless. I'm starting to see a pattern, here.
I start to download that one, only to discover that 2 more version have been released before my modem can finish. I start to download those, and Real responds by publishing 12 more upgrades, all of which force the obsolence of their predecessor.
About that time, cablemodems are invented, so I get one. I begin to download that week's RealAudio version... at a whopping 3mbs. But, it's no use. In the 25 seconds needed to pull it, those fucks have released 18 more incompatable versions, all of which make the prior ones useless.
So, screw Real, they're little more than an upgrade scam. THAT is why they're a failure.
help me i've cloned myself and can't remember which one I am
Upgrade to Pro / Run now / Cancel
NO, I don't want to upgrade now, just RUN.
Upgrade to Pro / Run now / Cancel
NO! I don't want to upgrade to the pro version! JUST RUN!!
Upgrade to Pro / Run now / Cancel
GET OFF MY SCREEN!! When I want the pro version I'll get to
Upgrade to Pro / Run now / Cancel
HELP! GO AWAY!!
Yup.. unintrusive.. Completely. (Of course, those aren't the exact wording on the buttons, but you all get the idea)...
Anyway..
bork bork bork!
Yup.
Do the clock setting trick: set the clock far into the future, then open a Quicktime movie. Close Quicktime Player and then reset your clock. You won't see the ad again, since it saved the "last seen" time as some future date you'll never reach, having long since died of boredom.
Or, just get a serial number for Quicktime Pro off the net. There are a large number of them out there. This way you also get some other features in the player app, like fullscreen display on Windows. It's terribly illegal and immoral and you'll burn in hell, though.
Whenever I sign up somewhere useless that wants an email address, I use support@real.com
I'd like to think that I am partially responsible for their demise.
Buckle your ROFL belt, we're in for some LOLs.
TERRORIST DRILL!!
*Grabs monitor and throws it out the window, kicks comp case, picks up chair and smashes case repeatedly, rips out video card and waves it around with his mouth like a dog, pulls out HD and stuffs it down his pants, rips calendar off the wall and lights it on fire, uses burning calendar to light the drapes and carpet on fire, throws pens across the room, pours coffee on papers, flips over the desk, kicks down the door and runs screaming towards elevators*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I can't be the first to make this observation, but here goes anyway...
?
Has anyone ever noticed that
THEIR
SOFTWARE
SUCKS
A
BIG
HAIRY
NUT
!
?
Haven't allowed it on any machine of mine in about 3-4 years -- haven't missed it, either.
Thank you for this opportunity to share.
Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
I'm not sure if it was original, but I saw a gentleman in a forum describe Real software as "facehuggerware."
Crushing my karma one post at a time.