Microsoft Eyeing AOL?

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Posted by ryuzaki0 on Friday March 19, 2004 @05:35AM from the come-here-sweetie-and-give-daddy-a-kiss dept.

meriksen writes "This article on the CNN website suggests that Microsoft is looking to acquire AOL. What are the chances and do /. readers think this will ever happen?" The NY Post story is slightly more informative.

20 of 449 comments (clear)

You've Got Patch!!! by Vexler · 2004-03-19 05:36 · Score: 5, Funny

'Nuff said.
I thought it couldn't get any worse... by Athas · 2004-03-19 05:37 · Score: 4, Funny

But then I thought of the combined cluelesness of AOL and Microsoft support combined. Be afraid.

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MS+AOL=love? by jester42 · 2004-03-19 05:38 · Score: 5, Funny

Oh what a great couple that would make. I always knew there was something strange about this spring time...
On the other hand, this might also have its advantages. We wouldn't have to be anti MS AND anti AOL anymore because it would be just one thing or one enemy less.
Great by lordmoose · 2004-03-19 05:38 · Score: 5, Funny

Now I'll get viruses on a disc through the mail.
AIM + MS + AOL = by sczimme · 2004-03-19 05:40 · Score: 4, Funny

A-IMSOL.

(read each letter individually)

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I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
Bling... by warpSpeed · 2004-03-19 05:41 · Score: 5, Funny

"You've got screwed"
Re:AOL a Dog? by mattkinabrewmindspri · 2004-03-19 05:47 · Score: 5, Funny

What would happen when the new version of Windows would only set up an internet connection through an approved MS/AOL online service?
Mass suicides?

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Albuquerque PC
Great Idea!! by bfg9000 · 2004-03-19 05:48 · Score: 5, Funny

Let's just consolidate evil in one spot.

Bill G pretty much already owns SCO -- if MS and AOL merge, Slashdot will just need one "It's Evil. Laugh" icon for all three.

Hmm.... then we can put Apple, Java, and BSD under one "Yup, It's STILL dying" icon.

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Re:Those who can, do. Those who can't, buy. by pilgrim23 · 2004-03-19 05:48 · Score: 5, Funny

I note the EU had a disagreement with Microsoft. Does this mean an eventual purchase of Europe by the Redmond Conglomerate? So when is Bill Gates getting his reserved seat on the UN Security Council?

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- Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
The Perfect Solution by tacocat · 2004-03-19 05:49 · Score: 4, Funny

This would solve all the problems for spam in the world today.
:0
* ^From.+(aol|msn).com
/dev/null

beautiful!
cliche in action by ccnull · 2004-03-19 05:54 · Score: 5, Funny

If it happens, we'll be able to find out once and for all if two wrongs really do make a right.

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filmcritic.com - Movie reviews on Internet time
So it begins... by Cyno01 · 2004-03-19 05:55 · Score: 4, Funny

Miscrosoft may as well buy TW and have their massive content delivery system, which is one of the reasons MSN isn't doing well. After this can a merger with the Disney/McDonalds/Coca-Cola empire be close behind? McDonalds McWi-Fi or whatever is already "powered by centrino" whatever the hell that means, so they're already in bed with Wintel. This looks like the start of the sci-fi predicted super-corps that eventually replace the government. Blue Sun anyone? Where do i signup for the libertarian party...

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"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
The FTC will never allow it.... by ConceptJunkie · 2004-03-19 05:57 · Score: 5, Funny

...because of anti-trust reasons. It would be a monopoly on "sucks".

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You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
Why? by RGautier · 2004-03-19 06:03 · Score: 5, Funny

Why would the Borg want to buy The Teletubbies?
What's next? The government? by rice_burners_suck · 2004-03-19 06:08 · Score: 4, Funny

In other news, Microsoft today announced plans to acquire the government of the United States. By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.
A Microsoft spokenperson commented, "By controlling what is arguably the most powerful government in the world, Microsoft will be able to better control the rights of consumers in regards to the company's valuable intellectual property." The first change to be made, according to Chairman and now Chief World Domination Officer Bill Gates, is to rename the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) to MRS (Microsoft Revenue Service). From now on, all tax dollars will go directly into Bill Gates' checking account.
Microsoft's acquisitions last week of the RIAA, MPAA, SCO, and the Equifax credit reporting bureau have empowered the company to supply the best operating system since Windows XP, enabling the multinational corporations next on Microsoft's acquisition list to gain a higher return on lawsuits against their own customers.
Microsoft stock climbed 90 points after the announcement.
NY Post? Highly Informative? by CautionESPN · 2004-03-19 06:09 · Score: 4, Funny

That's a first.
NY Post by ILL+Clinton · 2004-03-19 06:27 · Score: 4, Funny

The NY Post story is slightly more informative.
That's a first!
Open source sig, feel free to modify and distribute.
Re:AOL and "the real internet" by Short+Circuit · 2004-03-19 06:36 · Score: 5, Funny

*sniff*

I'm going to miss those free coasters and DVD cases.

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Re:AOL a Dog? by BlueWonder · 2004-03-19 06:53 · Score: 5, Funny

I think the real question is: Why would Microsoft, who has a failing ISP, want to buy AOL, who is a failing ISP?

I think they want to extend their monopoly to the market of failing ISPs...
Re:Those who can, do. Those who can't, buy. by plj · 2004-03-19 10:22 · Score: 4, Funny

So when is Bill Gates getting his reserved seat on the UN Security Council?

Bill Gates? On Security Council? We're doomed!

You know, I always get nervous when I hear Bill's name mentioned in connection with word "Security".

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“Wait for Hurd if you want something real” –Linus