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Omniscience Protocol
solidox writes "There is a new RFC discussing the Omniscience Protocol.
It proposes that every computer be installed with an OP Client which would allow law enforcement ('Good guys.') and copyright holders (RIAA, MPAA) to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement ('evil-doer'). The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker. It also must be able to report to the server at any time. 'The OP must be able to communicate through uncooperative firewalls, NATs, and when the computer is disconnected from the Internet.' So if your computer randomly blows up in the next while, you can put the blame on this."
(Call me before they go gold with the omega release, though...)
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
This is the scariest thing I have every read. Basically what is being said is that since you the consumer have abused your freedom (in the implied words of Hatch et.al) you now loose that freedom and will be punished at the will and whim of the Corporate (tm). In the minds (and I use that term loosely) of these people the freedoms that we have enjoyed as a people were never really ours but were theirs to dole out as they saw fit, to their benefit to their profit. The veil has been lifted and we now see the true face of our would be oppressors.
"It's so convenient to have a system where everyone is a criminal" - A. Hitler
"The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker."
This statement reminded me of the "hacker" from the movie The Core, who asked for an unlimited supply of hotpockets and Xena tapes. But I've seen this post before, or is it deja vu? Fact is, any system that can be built, can be bypassed, so I don't know what the hell he's talking about.
The real thing I want to know is how many times are we going to see this posted today?
"TK-421, why aren't you at your post?"
Now the world will be free from pirates forever! No more swabbin' the deck and leerin' at young lasses at ports of call! Today is a great victory for democracy!
I wonder if putting tinfoil around my computer would circumvent this?
Why did the author write this RFC? Is he sucking up to the feds/RIAA?
"to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement"
I think they actually meant:
"to remotely destroy the user of any computer who has been involved in copyright infringement"
The only news on
Will this be based on RFC 3514? The RIAA could easily scan for systems with the 'evil bit' set to reduce the risk of accidentally hitting an innocent system.
http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc3514.html
I think I'll just come back tomorrow.
This is it?
This is the most imaginative idea someone could come up with for an April fools joke?
You are kidding, right?
--- I do not moderate.
The emails claiming to add 3 inches to my wang are more believable then /.'s april fools jokes.
So I doubt this RFC would gain adoption without those things.
The only way I see this happening is law enforcement forcing ISPs to check for this protocol on connected computers before allowing internet access. Those that refuse, don't have internet access. I wonder what that would do to internet retailers such as amazon.com when their sales drop through the floor because people refuse to install this garbage. It wouldn't take long to bury this "OP".
Just another April fools jo.... (connection reset by peer)
"All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
You know, I had an odd feeling that the evil bit I heard so much about last year might in some way not be used for the good of the public.
Quit posting these april fools jokes otherwise RIAA and MPAA might read this and actually implement it.
GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
Did it ever occur to any of you humor impaired folks that some of us actually like to *gasp*
;)
go along with the joke?
Or, as a certain AC around here is fond of saying:
No shit, sherlock!
Sent from your iPad.
It's only 11 AM Eastern time. That means we have 13 hours left of this stupid ass shit. I just may have to kick my ./ addiction for the day. Must resist... no click link... stop insanity...
+1 Insightful, -1 Troll. What can I say, I'm an Insightful Troll.
Gullable: adj, susceptible to attacks by seabirds.
Gullible: adj, easily fooled.
(And they told me "gullible" wasn't in my dictionary)
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
... that as absurd as the requirements of this RFC are, they would have to actually be implemented for DRM to be non-hackable.
Ok, we know there are terrorists who want to destroy America/the West. We've invested billions trying to slow them down and beat them to the punch. Now somebody wants to install an auto-destruct on every computer so that if (when) an exploit is discovered, someone could take down the entire electronic infrastructure of the country and parts of the rest of the world without even putting in the work to write an email virus?
BAD IDEA
Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
No - they can use the Evil Bit. RFC 3514.
I think it's the people who feel a need to comment on Slashdot on such a thing ... oh wait ...
Just because an protocol is proposed on 1 April doesn't mean someone won't try to implement it. Consider RFC 2549.
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
-Shadow
There is a long tradition of April 1st RFCs - see Wikipedia's entry.
I thought this one was quite funny - note, by the way, that it doesn't propose that every computer be installed with an OP client, it just proposes the requirements for a protocol enabling that. The requirements are impossible. That's kind of the point, I thought. I suppose you'd have to RTFA to get that though... :-)
For a full updated list of sites pulling april fools jokes see here
Some highlites:
livejournal.com - on userinfo pages, "Friend"/"Friend Of" -> "Stalking"/"Stalked By"
www.gpf-comics.com - Comic mirrored.
smh.com.au - Yum-cha trolleys with "L" plates
www.clutchfans.com - Patrick Ewing returning to NBA
www.freeciv.org - Freeciv ANSI client
www.rav4world.com - Closed? Should have announced that TOMORROW!
www.retrocrush.com - Nude pics of Jaclyn Smith
westcoaster.net - Roller coaster site turned into teen girl site
www.meowpawjects.com - Sock people forced webmaster to take website down.
miceage.com - Disney merges with Walmart
www.badgerbadgerbadger.com - Badgers replaces with zombies
skepdic.com - Skeptic's Dictionary closing
fool.com - Buffett buys Krispy Cream
launch.com - Britney Spears & Jason Alexander To Renew Wedding Vows
MetaFilter.com - Turned in to a Wiki for the day
www.ddrkc.com - owner sold site to a user that is unpopular
brownpau.com - March for Web Standards
www.beyondunreal.com - ut2k4 production suspended
globetechnology.com - Microsoft Solitaire
www.modernwiccan.com - Randomized Color Scheme
bbs.fuckedcompany.com - Site shutting down
www.diary-x.com - looks like diaryland!
theprp.com - Music site to "Previously Ridden Ponies"
mpx200.org - Pocket PC with 2Gb system memory/Smart Drunk Pocket PC application
www.macosxhints.com - triple G5 Powermacs
www.slyfx.com - AOL buys slyfx
palminfocenter.com - Palms for toddlers.
www.carniola.org - fake news story
eikenes.alvestrand.no - Considering porn spam to be in a separate dialect to everything else
defunctgames.com - Pimps At Sea fox xbox
Belive in Technology and AMAZE yourself. -- RIP ZDTV/TechTV
You'll never see it on my computer. ;-)
I'm not normally an irrational zealous dickhead, but I figure "When in Rome..."
You don't seem to understand what it means to protect freedom of speech. As soon as you say "well, it's ok that goatse.cx was censored, since it only has a gross picture", you have opened the flood gates. Now you have to ask yourself, what else is it ok to censor?
That's an example of the "slippery slope" fallacy. You have no evidence that the suppression of goatse will lead to a repressive online regime. So you can't use that as an excuse to mourn its passing; it is only legitimate to mourn the passing of goatse if you seriously believe that every form of expression should be protected.
Let's try an analogy - if I raped your daughter, and posted pictures of the crime on the web, would you say it's okay for me to be prosecuted for the rape, but my right to free speech means nobody should have the power to take the pictures down?
> would you say it's okay for me to be prosecuted for the rape, but my right to free speech means nobody should have the power to take the pictures down?
Except that a picture isn't speech. Even if you don't believe that line, the pictures would be of the commission of a felonious assault, and I believe, illegal. Since that is a stretch, let's step away from the actual subject. Photographers, to use their pictures, must have the consent of everyone in the picture to distribute it. Unless the rape victim did not consent to sex, but did consent to the pictures of it, the photos are illegal to distribute, AFAIK.
Yes, I know it was a troll, but it's still an interesting thought (the speech, not the rape).
Actually, all they need to do is send out a "security update" -- which they are allowed to install on your computer without notice from you -- wich accidently-on-purpose destroys it. They can't be held liable -- after all, didn't you read the license agreement which says there's no warrenty? It was a bug, which they are not liable for...
And btw, Palladium is all they need to force the issue, because Palladium prevents you from installing the kind of software that would counteract that -- because it might cause problems with copyright. This includes Linux, afaik -- you honestly can't expect me to ask Microsoft to sign every kernel build I make?
Unless these "features" can be turned off, for the record, I will use this machine until it rusts before I buy something which will not let me run Linux.
Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
What fun is it reading April fools jokes when they are so blatantly obvious before getting to the second sentence? Come on guys, where is the believability? Leave the obvious bull-shit to George Lucas, please?