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Silly Product Instructions?
canfirman asks: "Not exactly a serious question, but maybe good for a laugh: Our company is bringing in new printers into the office, and I noticed that the on-screen instructions state, 'Do not pull pages until after the printer has finished its job'. I thought this would be a redundant instruction (kinda like, 'Don't run with scissors'), but it got me thinking - what are some of the dumbest instructions you have ever seen on a piece of software, hardware, or appliance?"
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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
I see people ripping the pages out of laser printers before the printer has pushed it all the way out. Probly does them no end of damage but since the page is already completely pritned by the point the person has enough grip on the page to pull it all out people keep doing it :-(
Slashdot - The one stop shop for procrastination
"Don't run with scissors" is not an example of redundant instructions.
"Don't run with scissors while running", on the other hand, is.
When you open a new iPod, it has a sticker that says "Don't Steal Music."
We have one of these types of printers (HP LJ 4600DN) in my classroom, and when the kids pull pages of duplex jobs early (before they actually get spit into the finished tray), then Bad Things Happen(tm).
"Sometimes the only thing left to say is 'Oops'" -- debbers
Some interesting prescription instructions:
Inhale 1 tablet vaginally at bedtime"
And an interesting warning on a kids toy:
It can be happy and gay not good hearing if product is with mark"
"Not to be used for the other use."
(On a package of nuts) "May contain nuts."
(Butcher knife)"Keep out of children."
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
HSJ$$*&#^!#+++ATH0
NO CARRIER
(in troubleshooting section)
Problem: Sparks fly from commutator
Cause: Groceries in commutator.
Solution: Remove groceries from commutator.
FIRE EXTINGUISHER
On the back, oddly enough, were the following words:
Do not use near heat or open flame
This sig no verb.
"For best results, please remove cap."
Really? I was just going to bang it on the table until it exploded, then lick all the 'cheese' up!
Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing.
Over a decade ago, there used to be a brand of skateboarding apparrel made by World Industries called Ghetto Wear. I didn't notice till some years later after buying a pair of their pants about the washing instructions printed on the tag.
1) Pile dirty clothes on floor
2) When you run out of clean clothes, gather them up and ask your Mom how to use the washer
3) When she says she'll do it so you don't break her washer and ruin your clothes, come back in an hour and they'll be done.
I also had a FUCT jacket that's washing instructions were:
Washing Instructions: Steal this garment.
I like that kind of thing, making the blatently obvious and unnessary become fun.
I always read that as:
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Dumbest warnings I ever saw were on a laptop's power supply:
And no, I'm not making this up.Of course, there's no word on whether the lead in the power cord is transmuted to gold when I cross the border into Nevada, or whether or not residents of other states need to wash their hands after plugging things in or not.
(The background is that a bunch of twits fell for the junk science on PVC softened with lead phthalates. Consider that if studies on intravenous bags with the stuff are questionable, it's Not Bloody Likely that failing to wash your hands after you plug in your laptop is going to kill you. But since when did science matter to the granola-crunchin' hypesters of the People's Republic of California? It's to protect the chilllllldren and the enviiiiiiirunmennnnnt!
At the grocery store I recently found a package of Taramisiu and it said DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN, on the bottom (bit late isn't it?).
Let this be a lesson to you newbie Slashdotters. If you find yourself writing a 4 paragraph detailed post defending people who might eat silica gel.. Its time to go out and meet people.