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Silly Product Instructions?

Posted by Cliff on from the a-techincal-writer's-nightmare dept.

canfirman asks: "Not exactly a serious question, but maybe good for a laugh: Our company is bringing in new printers into the office, and I noticed that the on-screen instructions state, 'Do not pull pages until after the printer has finished its job'. I thought this would be a redundant instruction (kinda like, 'Don't run with scissors'), but it got me thinking - what are some of the dumbest instructions you have ever seen on a piece of software, hardware, or appliance?"

8 of 215 comments (clear)

  1. some funny instructions by syrinx · · Score: 5, Funny

    # Please try to keep posts on topic.
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    # Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said.
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    --
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  2. Redundancy? by tdemark · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Don't run with scissors" is not an example of redundant instructions.

    "Don't run with scissors while running", on the other hand, is.

  3. HP Lasers w/Duplexers by SpoonDog_SVT · · Score: 5, Informative
    HP's new laser printers with duplexers actually spit the page out partway before reversing direction and pulling them back into the paper path. So the OP's "do not pull pages until job is done" is actually prudent.

    We have one of these types of printers (HP LJ 4600DN) in my classroom, and when the kids pull pages of duplex jobs early (before they actually get spit into the finished tray), then Bad Things Happen(tm).

    --
    "Sometimes the only thing left to say is 'Oops'" -- debbers
  4. From Jay Leno's Headlines: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Some interesting prescription instructions:
    Inhale 1 tablet vaginally at bedtime"

    And an interesting warning on a kids toy:
    It can be happy and gay not good hearing if product is with mark"

  5. Hitachi electric drill... by BrokenHalo · · Score: 5, Funny
    I kept this booklet for years after the drill died. Needless to say, the drill was manufactured in China...:

    (in troubleshooting section)

    Problem: Sparks fly from commutator
    Cause: Groceries in commutator.
    Solution: Remove groceries from commutator.

  6. Fire extinguisher by dacarr · · Score: 5, Funny
    On the front:

    FIRE EXTINGUISHER

    On the back, oddly enough, were the following words:

    Do not use near heat or open flame

    ...huh?

    --
    This sig no verb.
  7. Cheez Whiz by clbyjack81 · · Score: 5, Funny
    I don't know if they still do, but Cheez Whiz cans used to have this warning...

    "For best results, please remove cap."

    Really? I was just going to bang it on the table until it exploded, then lick all the 'cheese' up!

    --
    Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing.
  8. Ghetto Wear washing instructions by almaon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Over a decade ago, there used to be a brand of skateboarding apparrel made by World Industries called Ghetto Wear. I didn't notice till some years later after buying a pair of their pants about the washing instructions printed on the tag.

    1) Pile dirty clothes on floor
    2) When you run out of clean clothes, gather them up and ask your Mom how to use the washer
    3) When she says she'll do it so you don't break her washer and ruin your clothes, come back in an hour and they'll be done.

    I also had a FUCT jacket that's washing instructions were:

    Washing Instructions: Steal this garment.

    I like that kind of thing, making the blatently obvious and unnessary become fun.