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Need A Few Post-Its Around The Office?
An anonymous reader writes "Like every company, we have an office prankster. So, whenever anything goes wrong -- say, your chair starts making unusual noises or your CD tray starts popping out for no reason, invariably you'll look up and see Dave, our esteemed leader, grinning foolishly at his handywork. So really, Damon shouldn't have been surprised when he came into the office one otherwise-normal Monday morning to find this. Nor should James have been surprised when he showed up early one morning to this birthday surprise. It certainly keeps us on our toes." Ah, the joys of not telecommuting ...
NOW I see why outsourcing to India is so much cheaper...
'Nuff said.
Mix the failings of Usenet with the shortcomings of the World Wide Web and the result is slashdot.
http://www.do-not-sleep.com/images/priceless.jpg
Boss : Uhh Dave, what was the quotation from India
....uhh I got it on a postit somewhere..
........
again..?
Dave:
Boss :
Yup, Bill*, the network guy, is sure going to be surprised when he comes in this morning and finds that he's been thoroughly slashdotted! Post-It notes, balloons, HTTP GET....
*Simulated employee name
...
Now try finding the one he stuck under his desk that has his admin password on.
'Don't worry' said the trees when they saw the axe coming, 'The handle is one of us.'
He was a great sport about it and is currently planning his pay back... :)
/.ing the server :) The admin won't like this ;)
Seems like he chose
We attached bungee ropes to his swivel chair, and arranged it so that when he sat down, he'd go whizzing across the floor.
It was really funny when he went through the window, landed, and went whizzing down the road.
Wonder if he's also planning payback for having his email inbox full of spam after having it posted on the website?
I find that the ol' gun to the head makes my employees much more productive than any amount of "fun".
Game... blouses.
Update: Sunday, March 21nd, 2004
We shared our story with 3M, the makers of post-its, and they must have got a kick out of it because they sent us 3 cases of post-its "for future decorating".
Aha! The missing step revealed:
1. Decorate office with products from Corporation X
2. Take pictures of said decorations
3. ??? = Send story and pictures to Corporation X
4. Profit! (as Corporation X sends you free product)
I suspect in a few months we'll hear a new story. Damon gets revenge on Dave by stapling a yoga mattress to every surface of his office. They share the story and ACME Yoga Mattress Co. responds by sending three trucks filled with yoga mattresses. Dave quits his job, sells all of them, and becomes the newest dot-calm millionaire. (Oh, you knew the punchline would be bad!)
Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
Everything in his apartment is wrapped in alumium foil, except for a copy of Penn and Teller's book "Cruel tricks for Dear Friends".
The REAL storyline goes something like this:
Boss: Hey, Dave, what's the capacity of our website software?
Dave: What do you mean?
Boss: Well, a client asked me how much traffic load it can handle.
Dave: I dunnow, we never REALLY stress-tested the thing. Want me to find out?
Boss: Yes, please do!
Dave: OK, I'll need 400 post-it note pads, 650 balloons and a digital camera.
Boss: Huh?
SIG: TAKE OFF EVERY 'CAPTAIN'!!
I'm a natural cynic and the deliberate nod to 3M at the end of the article makes me think this is a viral marketing campaign.
On the other hand, I've mentioned 3M twice in this short reply so perhaps *I'm* the viral marketer.
Back in the mid 1980s, I was working for a division of a large multinational. Some of the employees had quite a creative sense of humour (including, fortunately as will soon become apparent, the department manager).
At the time, there was a lot of hiring going on. On the manager's birthday, he was conducting job interviews most of the morning. His last applicant of the morning was a plant! You need to understand that, while blessed with a good sense of humour, he was happily married and quite conservative. The "applicant" was an attractive 24 year old redhead, very well endowed, and as sexually dressed as was consistent with a possible job applicant. The interview started normally, but gradually the young lady started making more and more pointed hints that she really wanted the job and would be willing to be very grateful if hired. Eventually, she was draping herself all over our leader who was desperately trying to ease her out of his office and looking as if he was about to suffer a coronary. [We had arranged to catch everything on video tape for checking out later.] When he finally managed to get the young lady across his office and open the door, the whole department was outside ready to wish him Happy Birthday. That was his first intimation that it was a setup!
I work in a camera store as the manager. Including me, there are six people who work at that location.
We received about one hundred Russ brand stuffed bears, to be sold "as a deal" with film processing. As you can imagine, it didn't really take off, and in April I still have 70 odd bears lying around my store.
We had been playing games with each other involving the bears but for several months it was fairly quiet.
Until I took several days off following Easter.
I walked in on Thursday to start my week, and upon opening the door to the back room, discovered a curtain of bears in my way. The two girls at work used kite string to bind the bears about the neck and waist to suspend them, and tied all of their paws together so that they all faced the door. There was a sign in the center that said "Supplies!" (Referencing UHF)
On the white board on the door, there was this note:
"
24 Russ bears: $599.76
Kite String: $4.99
The look on your face right now: Priceless (We hope)
******* Camera, it's everywhere you want to be.
"
Somedays my job isn't so bad...
Back in 98, I installed a screensaver on a few file servers (NT 4.0). What was nifty about it was that it showed the total RAM count and was performing a filecheck that actually read the files (RAID activity can be heard) and flagged them as corrupted. Of course, the files were perfectly fine in reality.
Oh man...did I catch hell from my manager when he dropped his coffee mug and ran into the server room and pulled the plug on the RAID. Though I laughed really hard...he obviously didnt.
From that point on, we had to restore the file server because the system wasn't shutdown properly. Fuck...he only needed to move the mouse or press a key to kick the screen saver off.
Life is not for the lazy.
I see the `preview` Button has been changed to a `post with wrong spelling` button, Taco you prankster!!!!!!
So you're telling me superglue is like perl?
Hell yeah it is. Nobody understands it, everybody screams about how great it is, promises to work forever but in reality only works for about three hours.
Hell yeah superglue is just like perl.
Like what I said? You might like my music
I should point out that my victims always get me back, usually by spraying anti-static cleaner through the back of my desk fan when I'm not expecting it (instant winter wonderland), or by stamping "REFERENCE COPY ONLY" across my forehead with the drawing office stamp (permanent).
biopowered.co.uk - catalytically cracking triglycerides for home automotive use since 2008. Just say no to big oil!
...birthday presents (a vibrator), taken the wrong way and ...
Indeed. A vibrator taken the wrong way can bring tears to the eyes, I am sure.
I went on a week vacation and the regional secretary who relied on my technical support made sure that I knew she'd call me at home if there was anything she needed.
I never got personal calls at home during working hours. So, on my first day of vacation, I forwarded my phone to her.
She tried all week to get a hold of me. When she called me her line two would start ringing. Waiting and waiting finally she'd hang up and answer line two but no body was there.
She'd try again and line two would start ringing. She'd try putting me on hold to answer the other line. No one was there, so she'd hang up and come back to me, but because she had answered and disconnected, the line she was calling me on was now a dial tone. She figured I had probably answered and hung up.
Apparently this went on all week. Every time she'd call me her other line would ring and then all the stuff with disconnects and no one on the other line... She never figured it out and by the end of the week was very frustrated.
When I got back she went on and on about how she tried to call me. Then all the stories about how every time she did the other line would ring and then the disconnects.
I fessed up and told her what I did. Everyone in the office was laughing their ass off, except for her. She was stunned. I could see her thinking back and then putting two and two together. She finely got over it, probably after spitting in my coffee for a week or something to get even.