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Swedish Carbon-Fiber Stealth Ship Runs NT
tiled_rainbows writes "The Guardian has an article today about the Swedish navy's new stealth warship, which they claim is the largest carbon-fiber vessel ever built. Slashdotters will be interested to learn that the ship runs Windows NT. The article says 'While the point-and-click system is popular with conscripts, the ship was fitted with a wooden ship's wheel at the insistence of senior officers. If Windows goes down, they will still be able to steer.' Which raises the question: where can I get a USB-compatible wooden ship's wheel for my computer?"
US Navy develops new Sasser Torpedo to protect us from Swedish terrorists. Bush feels they are hiding WMD's. Swedish Chef is quoted as saying "We no heeden dur Weaponden den Massen destructnueden. bork! bork! bork!".
Where can I get a USB-compatible wooden ship's wheel for my computer
I doubt it's USB since NT4 doesn't support USB.. :P Probably PS2 or a Serial connector :)
Simon
THe bluescreen sunk my battleship!
Not very stealthy.. all those loud bleeps every time they reboot each hour.
This gives me a great idea for a movie: "Speed 3: Dead in the water".
I think you'll find that the next M$ version of the wooden ship steering wheel will actually require FireWire bandwidth to run...
The stealth effect is kind of ruined, however, when this Swedish ship tries to sneak through the fog at night, but the cook is happily cooking tomorrow's pastries exclaiming "Bork Bork Bork!", which echoes over the waves.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Who knew--a ship that could crash twice.
You're old school? I beta tested the motherf***ing abacus!
"Captain, everything is in order; the heads-up display shows nothing but blue seas ahead."
Nope, it'll be bluetooth. Which means it won't work, and people will be able to steal its address book entries... ;-)
"Ah'm sorry, Cap'n, for some reason the ship's wheel has paired itself with my mobile phone instead of the ship."
PocketGamer.org - For the gamer on the go!
You missed the other definition: A $60,000 fiberglass and aluminium penis extension that gets 8 miles to the gallon.
Shortly after they installed nt, all the rats on the ship disappeared.
The difference between Canada and the USA is that in Canada healthcare is a right and gun ownership is a privilege.
Excuse my lack of Nautical Terms, but you get the idea.
Navigator: Captain, radar is picking up an iceberg 2 Nautical miles ahead, just off the port bow.
Captain: No problem, that's plenty of time to steer clear.
Captain clicks the navigation display on NT
Clippy: It seems you are trying to steer, what would you like to do?
Navigator: Captain, Icberg 1 mile ahead
Captain: (showing frustration) clicks Steer Starboard
Captain: This should handle it!
Clippy: How many degrees starboard would you liek to steer?
Captain uttering swedish curse words, clicks 10 degrees
Navigator Captain, Iceberg at 400 meters
Clippy: You clicked Turn Starboard and 15 degrees, it seems you are trying to evade an Iceberg. Windows NE (Nautical Edition) has several new features, just for this.
Clippy: Would you like to enable the "Evade Iceburg" Wizard?
Captain: $^@#$#%*, runs up to the wooden ships wheel
Captain: See, this is why the tried and true method works! turns the wheel
Windows NE has detected a new device and is unable to find a driver for it.
Captain: Aha! my son warned me about this, I have the driver right here!
Windows NE: Windows NE has finished installing drivers for the device "Ships Wheel", in order to use this device you must restart windows. Click here to restart, or if you wish to restart later click cancel.
Sharks: Break out the hotsauce fellas, here comes dinner
Captain: Fire control, engage hostile target 1004 range 2000 yds with 5 inch main battery.
Fire Control: Sir, unable to engage target 1004 the system has encountered a VB runtime error 91 object variable not set.
Captain: Engine room ahead all full make turns for
30 knots.
Engine Room: Sir we keep getting a RPC failure in the gas turbine controller.
Captain: All hands abandon ship!
Got Code?
During combat it becomes necessary to increase your rate of fire to ensure the destruction of enemy vessels. Microsoft does not endorse the use of this software on fishing boats, pleasure craft, or walruses.
From the Control Panel select "Forward Cannon." Right click on the cannon and select "Properties." From the "Firing Rate" tab make sure the "Fire at will" option, and click the apply button. If the ship does not begin firing type "Regedit" at the command prompt. Under "HKEY_CLASSES_LOCAL_MACHINE" search for "Fire Control" and make sure the is a "Fire Control" entry in the registry. If necessary, load the Forward Cannon 1.3 install CD and double click the fcannon.reg file.
Once the cannon is installed, you may choose to test-fire a round. You will be prompted with a dialog asking if the target was hit. Clicking on No will take you to a web page with possible reasons (non of which will actually apply) as to why the target was missed. Some targets are not compatible with Windows and cannot be hit with the forward Gun.
Leave the gun, take the cannoli -- Clemenza, The Godfather
From the article:
And if it is detected, the Visby should be quick enough to escape as it is only half as light as a conventional corvette.
In other words, its great weight makes it _more_ likely to avoid attacks -- perhaps by escaping downhill.
Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.
does it have minesweeper?
It's a mine sweeper. I'm sure there's a joke here somewhere..
I know I'm going to karma hell for this joke, but....
In Soviet Russia(socialist Sweden?), Minesweeper runs Windows!
-1, "1337" speak
I hope it works better than that single dial thingy that BMW has.
"I said thirty degrees port, not turn on the music!"
Stealth is a waste of money for the Swedish Navy anyhow; it seems this ship's mission, like all other seagoing Swedish vessels, is to sail back and forth between Stockholm and Helsinki in order to give Swedish people a place to buy cheaper booze than System Bolaget.
-Isaac
I am not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice. For Entertainment Purposes Only.