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Nintendo's Iwata - Innovate or Die
Linker writes "CNN/Money has interviewed Satoru Iwata, where the president of Nintendo Ltd. says the gaming industry is in the midst of a crisis of innovation, which could lead to its demise. The idea, of course, is to justify the existence of the upcoming Nintendo DS, but Iwata does point out that the gaming market in Japan has been shrinking in the past few years - and the U.S. and Europe may do so soon."
Why do I suddenly have this mental image of a swarm of bees chasing down a game designer?
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
Sweet merciful crap! If it wasn't for these games, nobody would have wanted to grow up to be a game designer and create some of the games we see today. Some of those kids' parents need to just slap those brats across the face!
Reminds me of the scene in Back to the Future II, "You mean you have to use your hands? Aww, that's a baby's toy!"
Hmmm.
What does he mean there's no innovation in the game industry? I mean, looking at my shelf, I've got Madden 2003, Gran Turismo 3, Tekken 3, Onimusha 3, Super Mario 3...Oh, wait, I think I get it...
Then I thought wow Microsoft has been releasing a popular game for years, and nobody realized it. No I'm Not talking about Flight Simulator. I am talking about THIS
Having fun sure is a waste of time, not a day goes by that I'm not thankful I stayed away from as much enjoyment as I could growing up. Everyone should stop wasting time enjoing themselves and just take up stamp collecting like us normal people.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
...Guns, Girls, and Graphics.
This is the formula used (depressingly successfully) by many game companies nowadays. Everything else can be sacrificed by these three.
GUNS: Actually, violence in general. More violence is good, but quality ("realism", meaning extra gore) can make up for a lack of quantity.
GIRLS: The more women and the less clothing, the better. Any kind of implied sexuality is better than nothing, however.
GRAPHICS: Photorealism = good, any other graphics style = bad. This is mostly an extension of Guns and Girls, since "realism" (actually pandering to a perverse fantasy, but your average gamer has a hard time telling the difference) is key to these areas.
These three factors contribute to what is sometimes called PPLQ, "Perceived Penis Length Quotient". The higher the PPLQ, the better the game will sell, because it is perceived as a Manly Game. Nintendo's problems as of late stem mostly from the fact that it refuses to satisfy PPLQ, under the deluded impression that innovation and gameplay are actually important to the average modern gamer. Thus, we get games like Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles and The Legend of Zelda: the Wind Waker, games doomed before they ever hit shelves because they were not deemed Manly enough.
I never win more than a certain amount until I inevitably start to lose everything, which makes me want to throw the damn phone against the floor of the bus.
1. Play game on phone
2. Get mad at game
3. Throw and break phone
4. Buy new phone
5. (Cell phone maker) Profit!!!
You probably enjoy the time you spend collecting stamps too! Hypocrite.
Things to do today: See list of things to do yesterday
Really?
We're talking to YOU here, Bioware! You evil swines! You sold me Neverwinter Nights no less than THREE TIMES! You sold me FOUR of Baldur's Gate! Do you have any IDEA how many hours of my precious life you've taken up with those things?
Gah. I don't know how they get away with it, really I don't.
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.