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13 Energy Drinks In 3 Sessions
circletimessquare writes "As a member of the cult of caffeine, as I suspect many Slashdot readers are, I was pleasantly amused by this story in The New York Times entitled Opening 13 Cans of Whoop (reg req). Our brave reporter sucks down a number of energy drinks of various parentages and gives us the lowdown on their taste, appearance, ingredients, overall effect, and dubious appeal. Example: 'At this point, my energy level was not only elevated, it was speeding toward the red line. I felt myself staring holes through my computer screen, typing at five times my normal rate and thinking far too creatively about life questions like how many AA batteries I needed to buy when I went to the drug store. My mood was chipper. Too chipper.'"
I think at some point its much healthier to switch to cocaine.
I put instant coffee in the microwave and went back in time.
Thanks Steve Wright..
But taking drugs is so much easier. Hey look, ritilan!
And on a different subject, I don't think smoking Crystal Meth is possible. It's usually snorted or taken orally.
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
[Someone didn't have anything to write on this sunny saturday night] A sunny night? Where do you live? North Pole or something?
Hey, man - Caffeine may be bad for you, but it's sure as hell necessary for my survival. Which, in itself, may be bad for you...
Bah. I can quit any time I want.
/usr/games/fortune
Slashdot is a device that turns coders into posters of caffeine jokes.
Reminds me a lot of this (funnier!) column from Computer Language magazine.
Is he in soviet russia or something? in the rest of the world, computer screen stares holes in you!
Caffiiineeee yeah yeah yeah! uhuh! im good to go! hey i can quit! i can quit anytime!
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
Coffee is God Pee?
Oops. Sorry. That's a smiley.
"(a) Eating nutritiously and sparingly"
I'm poor. I have the "sparingly" down pat.
"(b) Exercising every day"
Being chased away from dumpsters gives me that.
"(c) Sleeping regularly (same time every day) for 8 hours."
Park benches are no Serta.
Nice to see that the worthless drug addicts have representation on Slashdot as well.
Real men drink Bawls...
God made the natural numbers; all else is the work of man - Kronecker
Why not get actual Caffeine or pure Guarana? Of course, I once saw a girl who ate roughly 1 gram of caffeen in a night stay up for 4 days straight while crying and dribbling at the mouth, so don't overdo it.
And as for straight coffee beans... Try instant. Just shovel a few spoonfuls into your mouth, and wash it down with water. 10 seconds and you're super caffinated.
Of course the other secret is to eat 20mg of caffeine immediately before falling asleep. You will awake totally refreshed in about two hours, as if you had a full night's sleep. You do have to make very sure you fall asleep before the caffeine kicks in, or you just won't sleep at all. Long-term effects include improved GPA and complete cardiopulmonary collapse.
The ______ Agenda
Raise your hand if you have any recollection of this swill (or any recollection the day after comsuming it).
Whatever! You'd think the guy was smoking crystal meth or something.
Wasn't that the active ingredient in Crystal Pepsi?
The ______ Agenda
Quick Summary: New York times reporter overdoses on caffine; writes an article.
If you want to achieve the effects described in this article, why beat around the bush. Just get some cocaine. Compared to what these things cost, you might even be saving money.
But, for those who can't give up drinking their high.. there are new coca enhanced energy drinks coming out of Peru. Not coming into America any time soon, but still..
/jesting on
/jesting off
So you say that its cheaper to get more sleep. well sir, i shall prove to you, beyond a doubt, that it is, in fact, cheaper to buy my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) every day for a low low price of 2.59 per 5.9 oz bottle!
Now, my friend, assuming your salery is the very respectable wage of $5.15, and you are able to stay up 2.5 hours longer per day by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) every day in the morning to wake yourself up, and in the evening to keep yourself up longer then, you are in fact making money by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM).
We all know that time IS money, and by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) you are in fact generating money! By staying up 2.5Hours more per day, you recieving $12.88 more per day in personal or professional time, after subtracting the low low cost of my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) you are in effect generating $7.70 of your time's worth per day! Multiply this by 365 days in a year, and by 10 years, and your gross profit in time will be in excess of $28,000. Would you pass up the oppritunity to make an additional 28 grand? Nooo sane person Wooould! so buy your Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) today at your local supplier, and prove to the world you are worth more than they are!
*Warning, it is necessary to get adequate sleep, improper or prolonged use of product may cause premature aging, bags under the eyes, and cause children to run away when they see your face. additional side effects may be experienced with prolonged use, results may vary from person to person. no children, puppies, or fish were harmed in the testing of this product.*
Nothing replaces getting quality sleep for the proper hours that your body requires.
Troll, Troll, go away and flame again some other day
Quitting is easy. I've done it thousands of times.
What?
Remember, Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine.
Ahh, yes. I'm sure many a regular slashdot reader remembers the days when coke used to contain coke...
I'll turn into a supernova and burn up everything. Well I'll turn into a black little hole and you'll turn into string.
Thank god you linked to Google. Before now, I had never heard of Google. Seems pretty handy though.
-Dizzle
"I most likely AM so interested in myself."
An in depth article on this topic has already been written. It's much better than the NY Times offering.
Even nicer to see the people who try to post authoritatively on topics they know nothing about being represented.
I thought that WAS slashdot?
If only the product had been available to Keith Richards, he might be wrinkle-free and rosy cheeked today.
Who is this guy trying to kid? Keith Richards has done every drug there is and he's still alive. You just can't seem to kill the guy. I'm pretty sure that he'd just laugh at these energy drinks. You know what they say, If there's ever a World War 3 only two things will survive: the cockroaches and Keith Richards!
I j-j-j-ust drank-k-k a-ll thirteeeen-n-n at once-ce-ce-ce aaaand-d let meeeee tell-l-l-l you I wouldn't-t-t-t recomend it!
*thud*
zosxavius photography
I heard from a friend who knows this guy who had a former roommate that met a person at a party that said her cousin's proctologist once read in a journal about a person who's son stated that his friend drank Amp and nothing happened. Weird...
Marketing tip: You're not going to sell a lot of anything that sounds like it came from your Speedos.
I've tried over 75 diff E drinks. I used to keep a can collection, but me gurl made me through them out. I now take a pix of each one b4 I toss the can. I'm almost immune to caffein at this pt.
Caffeine is actually benefical, it can help reduce asthma attacks, it helps prevent stone formation...
Then maybe it's a good thing that Keith Richards didn't have these energy drinks available to him.
I want to add to this: Eat lots and lots of caffeine pills. You seriously can't have too many. Most of us are familiar with eating habits that tend to go with the healthy lifestyle: home-cooked meals, multivitamins, fruits, fresh veggies, and water (that weird clear stuff) by the truckload.
However, when I made a conscious effort to start eating caffeine with *every* meal (and not just a box of pills or so a day), I noticed that I started having fewer headaches, had more energy, and just generally felt all-around healthier. Now, if I don't eat my pills, I find that those symptoms come right back. Ritalin, Caffeine pills, cola and heroine are almost always staples in my fridge.
Another thing while I'm on the soapbox: Drink lsd in lieu of water and fruit juice. Almost any 'healthy' beverage you can buy at the supermarket will hydrate you more than it will waken you thanks to all the added sugar they don't put in those things. If you have infrequent headaches and your pee doesn't come almost clear 2 times out of 10, then you're chronically under-doped. Jolt is okay, but only after a good workout. Otherwise, LSD is going to hydrate you best.
However, when I made a conscious effort to start eating raw vegetables with *every* meal (and not just a carrot or so a day), I noticed that I started having fewer headaches, had more energy, and just generally felt all-around healthier. Now, if I don't eat my veggies, I find that those symptoms come right back. Carrots, celery, lettuce, and green peppers are almost always staples in my fridge.
Now see, what's going on here is that you've become addicted to these so-called "healthy" foods and have built up a dependency, as shown by your withdrawal symptoms. The effects of these food items are perceived increase in clarity and energy, and overall "health", exactly as you have described. But we all know the truth: you're addicted.
That's O.K. I've met employees at compusa who've never heard of null modem cables, parallell ports, or the ISA. And the salespeople knew even less than the tech people.
Not picking on you, or even trying to tar ALL compusa people with the same brush, but they really are the mcdonalds of computers, and it shows.
I've overheard techies tell a customer to make shure his computer was ON when installing new ram to make shure it worked. A salesman say that Windows XP couldn't catch viruses anymore because of Security Proof 1("that's what sp1 means). And even try to sell a guy a 450 watt atx power suply for an old PII at system, so the computer would go faster.
Maybe it's just the two compusa's in my area that is that bad, and alot of the b.s. seems to translate to 'buy somthing expesisize for (insert gobledy gook here) and hey would like a service plan for that?'.
Mycroft
https://signup.leagueoflegends.com/?ref=4c3ed6600b6ea
My first and only thought was 'Gimme - I wanna beta test'
Yeah... "beta test" new drugs. You need to get some sleep, it's affecting your judgement.
I've overheard techies tell a customer to make shure his computer was ON when installing new ram to make shure it worked.
I came across a guy trying to sell a Celeron 333MHz based computer to another and overheard him saying, "It's okay, you can overclock it to run at 1GHz."
I was feeling confrontational that day so I stuck my nose in and set the poor customer straight.
Do I get good karma for that?
Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.