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13 Energy Drinks In 3 Sessions
circletimessquare writes "As a member of the cult of caffeine, as I suspect many Slashdot readers are, I was pleasantly amused by this story in The New York Times entitled Opening 13 Cans of Whoop (reg req). Our brave reporter sucks down a number of energy drinks of various parentages and gives us the lowdown on their taste, appearance, ingredients, overall effect, and dubious appeal. Example: 'At this point, my energy level was not only elevated, it was speeding toward the red line. I felt myself staring holes through my computer screen, typing at five times my normal rate and thinking far too creatively about life questions like how many AA batteries I needed to buy when I went to the drug store. My mood was chipper. Too chipper.'"
I think at some point its much healthier to switch to cocaine.
I put instant coffee in the microwave and went back in time.
Thanks Steve Wright..
Hey, man - Caffeine may be bad for you, but it's sure as hell necessary for my survival. Which, in itself, may be bad for you...
Bah. I can quit any time I want.
/usr/games/fortune
Reminds me a lot of this (funnier!) column from Computer Language magazine.
Coffee is God Pee?
Oops. Sorry. That's a smiley.
Nice to see that the worthless drug addicts have representation on Slashdot as well.
Why not get actual Caffeine or pure Guarana? Of course, I once saw a girl who ate roughly 1 gram of caffeen in a night stay up for 4 days straight while crying and dribbling at the mouth, so don't overdo it.
And as for straight coffee beans... Try instant. Just shovel a few spoonfuls into your mouth, and wash it down with water. 10 seconds and you're super caffinated.
Of course the other secret is to eat 20mg of caffeine immediately before falling asleep. You will awake totally refreshed in about two hours, as if you had a full night's sleep. You do have to make very sure you fall asleep before the caffeine kicks in, or you just won't sleep at all. Long-term effects include improved GPA and complete cardiopulmonary collapse.
The ______ Agenda
Whatever! You'd think the guy was smoking crystal meth or something.
Wasn't that the active ingredient in Crystal Pepsi?
The ______ Agenda
Quick Summary: New York times reporter overdoses on caffine; writes an article.
If you want to achieve the effects described in this article, why beat around the bush. Just get some cocaine. Compared to what these things cost, you might even be saving money.
But, for those who can't give up drinking their high.. there are new coca enhanced energy drinks coming out of Peru. Not coming into America any time soon, but still..
/jesting on
/jesting off
So you say that its cheaper to get more sleep. well sir, i shall prove to you, beyond a doubt, that it is, in fact, cheaper to buy my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) every day for a low low price of 2.59 per 5.9 oz bottle!
Now, my friend, assuming your salery is the very respectable wage of $5.15, and you are able to stay up 2.5 hours longer per day by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) every day in the morning to wake yourself up, and in the evening to keep yourself up longer then, you are in fact making money by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM).
We all know that time IS money, and by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) you are in fact generating money! By staying up 2.5Hours more per day, you recieving $12.88 more per day in personal or professional time, after subtracting the low low cost of my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) you are in effect generating $7.70 of your time's worth per day! Multiply this by 365 days in a year, and by 10 years, and your gross profit in time will be in excess of $28,000. Would you pass up the oppritunity to make an additional 28 grand? Nooo sane person Wooould! so buy your Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) today at your local supplier, and prove to the world you are worth more than they are!
*Warning, it is necessary to get adequate sleep, improper or prolonged use of product may cause premature aging, bags under the eyes, and cause children to run away when they see your face. additional side effects may be experienced with prolonged use, results may vary from person to person. no children, puppies, or fish were harmed in the testing of this product.*
Nothing replaces getting quality sleep for the proper hours that your body requires.
Troll, Troll, go away and flame again some other day
Quitting is easy. I've done it thousands of times.
What?
Thank god you linked to Google. Before now, I had never heard of Google. Seems pretty handy though.
-Dizzle
"I most likely AM so interested in myself."
An in depth article on this topic has already been written. It's much better than the NY Times offering.
I j-j-j-ust drank-k-k a-ll thirteeeen-n-n at once-ce-ce-ce aaaand-d let meeeee tell-l-l-l you I wouldn't-t-t-t recomend it!
*thud*
zosxavius photography
Marketing tip: You're not going to sell a lot of anything that sounds like it came from your Speedos.
Caffeine is actually benefical, it can help reduce asthma attacks, it helps prevent stone formation...
Then maybe it's a good thing that Keith Richards didn't have these energy drinks available to him.
However, when I made a conscious effort to start eating raw vegetables with *every* meal (and not just a carrot or so a day), I noticed that I started having fewer headaches, had more energy, and just generally felt all-around healthier. Now, if I don't eat my veggies, I find that those symptoms come right back. Carrots, celery, lettuce, and green peppers are almost always staples in my fridge.
Now see, what's going on here is that you've become addicted to these so-called "healthy" foods and have built up a dependency, as shown by your withdrawal symptoms. The effects of these food items are perceived increase in clarity and energy, and overall "health", exactly as you have described. But we all know the truth: you're addicted.
That's O.K. I've met employees at compusa who've never heard of null modem cables, parallell ports, or the ISA. And the salespeople knew even less than the tech people.
Not picking on you, or even trying to tar ALL compusa people with the same brush, but they really are the mcdonalds of computers, and it shows.
I've overheard techies tell a customer to make shure his computer was ON when installing new ram to make shure it worked. A salesman say that Windows XP couldn't catch viruses anymore because of Security Proof 1("that's what sp1 means). And even try to sell a guy a 450 watt atx power suply for an old PII at system, so the computer would go faster.
Maybe it's just the two compusa's in my area that is that bad, and alot of the b.s. seems to translate to 'buy somthing expesisize for (insert gobledy gook here) and hey would like a service plan for that?'.
Mycroft
https://signup.leagueoflegends.com/?ref=4c3ed6600b6ea