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Evil Dead Game Sequel Confirmed By Bruce Campbell
An anonymous reader writes "Bruce Campbell mentions a new Evil Dead videogame due out in spring 2005 in a recent interview over at AICN. Asked whether there's going to be an Evil Dead 4 movie or not, he concludes 'So, I don't know. I mean, no one's gonna weep if there isn't... I mean, look! We've got these Evil Dead games coming out left and right. The new one's coming out next year, next Spring. I did the voice for it for Cranky Pants.' Looks like Cranky Pants Games are internal developers for THQ, working on an 'unannounced third-person action game shipping on the PlayStation 2 and Xbox consoles in early 2005', probably the Evil Dead game - I hope they do a better job than developers Vis Entertainment did on Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick!" THQ's first Evil Dead title, Evil Dead: Hail To The King, wasn't rated too positively either, so hopefully this new game should be an improvement.
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I still can't believe what happened to me.
December 25th 1999 is a day I will never forget.
That is the day my mother raped me for the first time.
(Merry fucking Christmas you bitch!)
I mean it was just cruel and sick and nasty.
There is no excuse, no rational explanation for her behavior.
It wasn't just that she raped me, it was how she did it, the utterly despicable way she went about it.
I guess I'm getting ahead of myself a little.
To understand you have to go back a year to the events just before Christmas 1998.
Let me start at the beginning.
My dad died when I was 14.
My mom and I struggled to put ourselves back together.
For 2 years we leaned on each other for support, because we had nobody else.
My mom is really young; she had me when she was still in high school.
In some ways she was more like a big sister or best friend to me than a mom.
We laughed and played together, had tickle fights, and talked for hours.
Sometimes she would just hang out in my room and read or watch tv.
I guess on some level I must have loved her in a romantic way for a long time.
I just did not KNOW it until I saw her pictures.
I found a crate in our attic with around 20 old Penthouse magazines.
Upon closer inspection I realized the centerfold was my mom!
The date on the mag was about a year after I was born.
She was the same age then, that I am now.
As I looked at this beautiful, big titted, blonde teenager, I felt myself get rock hard.
Page after page of my mom's mouth watering tits, bald pussy, and wicked little smile made me want to fuck her.
But it was her ass, her fat, plump, juicy, adorable ass that sealed her fate.
I.
Had.
To.
Have it.
I fantasized about licking it, sticking my face as far inside it as I could, and just sniffing it, sleeping, warm and safe and secure with my lips pressed against it.
I wanted to suck her ass-meat, to make her cum and pant and scream my name.
But most of all I wanted to fuck my mom's sweet ass hard.
To peel it open and hold her down and pound it, to ram it and rip it open.
A small part of me wanted to hear her whimper, and sniffle and beg - just a little.
For a while I became obsessed with Susan.
I loved her yes, but I also wanted to utterly dominate her.
I guess I kind of lost control and sort of seduced and pressured my mom into giving up her ass to me, if I agreed not to fuck her pussy.
At the time I thought that was the greatest night of my life.
I convinced her to let me take her out for a special dinner at the Paladin Club, and got her drunk.
We even made out, did a little dirty dancing, and groped each other.
But when we got home, she refused to have sex with me.
I had to persuade her, to explain that if she did not give herself to me I would just rape her anyway.
Finally we made a deal.
Consensual Anal sex, for a guarantee that I would leave her cunt alone.
Clearly she did not like it, but she did (reluctantly) agree.
Susan let me fuck her ass, helped me tear her up.
Her butt juice was so warm and wet, and tangy.
She grunted and squealed so prettily, in such a lady-like manner that I fell even deeper in love with my mom.
That was our first time together, and I thought the beginning of a special, tender love.
In the months that followed my mother withdrew from me.
She claimed that I had raped her!
That our love was not consensual.
I felt really bad about the misunderstanding, and did everything I could to repair our relationship.
As 1999 rolled along I thought that I had.
Boy was I wrong.
Susan somehow found out about my alter ego, Jaz1701, the rape Author.
She accessed my WEBTV account and read my e-mails from Readers, and visited the numerous free sites that I post stories to.
I had written about our true love and how I had fucked her sweet ass during Christmas of 1998.
I guess the whole issue of rape
Why do people always ask Bruce about Evil Dead 4? How many times has he answered the question that no, nobody's planning another one? Is it in production? Of course it is not in production. Hollywood's inability to keep the slightest thing secret is legendary. Entire scripts are available online before a moment of shooting takes place. Preproduction artwork finds it's way onto unlicensed souvineer mugs sold along Venice beach to the movie executives deciding whether or not to give the go-ahead. Heck, I had a copy of Episode 1 in quicktime format before the thing arrived in theaters, and you remember the extroardinary security measures around that turd.
Now, the Freddy vs Jason vs Ash thing could be very interesting, assuming that all parties involved realize that all of their respective franchises have already been driven into the ground. Personally I'd like to see if Freddy's insanity is more powerful than Ash's insanity. But either way, it will happen if it happens... It's not up to Bruce.
The ______ Agenda
I am calling on my fellow gamers to help me put through a ban on Pre-Order boxes for highly anticipated games in stores. To understand why, consider this situation that happened to me just last week.
On Thursday morning the pastor from my church asked me to help him select a new stereo system for his daughter's upcoming birthday (April 6th for those who are curious). I quickly agreed to help him in any way I could and we drove to the local Best Buy electronics store.
As we walked from the entrance to the back of the store where the TVs and stereo systems were, I saw some of the aisles for PC games and saw a book that clearly had the Doom 3 logo on it. I could not contain my excitement and forgetting where I was (and most importantly who I was with) exclaimed "Holy f**k!" which is something I would never say with a right mind! Pastor Groomsfeld was shocked. I realized what I had done and began to apologize when he began to look very angry and told me I was not to come back to the church ever again, because there is no place for sinners with filthy mouths such as mine. He then stormed out into the parking lot and drove away. I looked back at the copy of Doom 3 and saw a small yellow sticker on it that said "PRE-ORDER COPY. NOT FOR SALE."
I was left there without a ride home and banned from the congregation, spirits broken all because of a marketing trick. I am not sure what to do about church now, but the point is we need to get rid of these marketing schemes that are nothing more than devilish trickery for unsuspecting souls and the cause of such terrible situations as the one that was brought upon me.
Please, join me in this ban on Pre-Order game boxes so nobody else finds themselves as ashamed as myself.
If you're a fellow Cambpell fan, you might be interested to know that Campbell actually wrote a book; I received a copy as a birthday present, and it's one of the most entertaining books I've read in a long time. He has a whole litany of horror stories about the making of the Evil Dead books, and such; however, what makes the book really worth reading is that it's so fascinating to see the "blue-collar" side of hollywood, as he puts it. It makes you remember that for every bloated ego pulling in the millions there's a talented guy like Bruce, busting his ass, perched on the edge of "almost famous."
:)
I guess this is kind of a plug, but it's relevant, right? Mods, cut me some slack, he's been my favorite actor since I was a kid.
Anyways, the title of his book is "If Chins Could Kill" and I'm sure you can find it online or something.
But there is another kind of evil that we must fear most... and that is the indifference of good men.
Groovy!
Didn't 3D Realms make an Evil Dead game called Duke3D?
;)
Well okay, it wasn't Evil Dead, but it had more than enough quotes from it
So did "Blood" iirc.
...Is my boomstick
I saw Bubba Ho Tep when it was in the theatres and loved it. When I saw the DVD at Best Buy, I had to have it.
The DVD is great, it has plenty of extras such as a scrapbook, several commentaries, deleted scenes (with optional comentaries), a music video, several behind the scenes featurettes, trailers, and it also has Joe R. Lansdale reading the first chapter of the novella the movie was based on.
Bruce, baby, if you're reading this: do an ED 4, or a Bubba Ho-Tep 2, or more Brisco County or read from a Ford car manual on tape, but no more ED video games! Please!
My favorite ED game is 22 years old already.
You can find all of the old Brisco episodes on Bittorrent...try suprnova.org.
But there is another kind of evil that we must fear most... and that is the indifference of good men.
You're all crazy! Fistfull of Boomstick was an awesome game, although too short. I dunno if anyone was expecting a particularly thought provoking story line from an Evil Dead game. The main objective in ANY Evil Dead game has got to be tearing zombies apart with chainsaws, and Fistfull of Boomstick excels at that.
Hail to the king, baby.
I found the controls of the first Evil Dead game to be very difficult to get used to. I'm not a big fan of the "Alone in the Dark"-"Resident Evil" type controls. I'm a bigger fan of controls that are relative to the screen instead of the player.
If they're not going to do another Evil Dead movie, then how about an Ash vs. B.J. Blazkowicz vs. HUNT crossover video game? Ludicrous Gibs!