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AMD Announces New Low-End Processor Line

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the nomenclatura dept.

beaverbrother points out these articles at CoolTechZone and PC Magazine, writing "AMD (Advanced Micro Devices) is slated to launch a new Sempron line of processors this summer, to compete with Intel's Celeron line. The processors are designed to perform basic tasks, such as word processing, and more advanced tasks, like playing video, with ease."

49 of 332 comments (clear)

  1. Sempron... by Ianoo · · Score: 4, Funny
    The processors are designed to perform basic tasks, such as word processing, and more advanced tasks, like playing video, with ease."
    So... all tasks, with ease?
    1. Re:Sempron... by Rodrin · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nah, notice how they carefully left p0rn out.

      --
      FuckTheFuckingFuckers.com - Post your th
    2. Re:Sempron... by ExTycho · · Score: 3, Funny

      or you could just use a old duron 1.3ghz and save yourself 100, for those extremely processor intensive word documents!

    3. Re:Sempron... by Stoutlimb · · Score: 5, Funny

      Are you sure they left pr0n out of the semPRON?

    4. Re:Sempron... by NetGyver · · Score: 3, Funny

      It wouldn't be so damn bad if the new chip name had a ring to it.

      Take "Athlon" for example: The "Ath" part of the name reminds me of Athens, Greece. You know, home of the Roman empire, which was a powerful force in it's day. The "ion" part of it reminds me of the word "marathon" which says to me it can keep going and going. Kind of a powerful runner if you will...

      Now take "Duron", the "Dur" part reminds me of "endurance" whicn means it's not running for speed, it's an endurance runner. The "on" part still reminds me of marathons.

      These to me, seem like very fitting names. However, I'm not sure what to think of Sempron. Excluding the obvious porn reference, it does remind me of the Sampo Virus.though.

      --
      A Penny for my thoughts? Here's my two cents. I got ripped off!
    5. Re:Sempron... by mrchaotica · · Score: 4, Funny

      If the Roman Empire was from Athens, why did they name it after Rome?

      --

      "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

    6. Re:Sempron... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      In my family we have 8 computers. 7 are used for looking up recipes on the internet.. and 1 is for the man of the house to play quake

  2. Yes but... by Mr.+Sketch · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will they overhead and melt down like the Celeron processors? Without this feature I doubt they will be able to effectively compete with the Celeron.

    --
    Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
    1. Re:Yes but... by Professor+S.+Brown · · Score: 2, Funny

      If you meant over[b]heat[/b], then In a word, yes. I tried some last week, and they were absolutely abominable. All of mine were put to use integrating a Dirac pulse that was picked up by my satellite dish. Almost immediately they overheated, all the capacitors exploded and a diode changed direction and everything.

      --
      Shitram Brown, PhD
      Professor of Mathematics
    2. Re:Yes but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "...or produce an error noise..."

      Is that a sort of pop noise followed by crackling?

    3. Re:Yes but... by HoldenCaulfield · · Score: 2, Funny

      no, that's your Rice Krispies . . . but you forgot the snap ;)

    4. Re:Yes but... by Merovign · · Score: 3, Funny

      "Both platforms are "fast enough" for now."

      No matter how many times I read it, I don't get it.

  3. Duron? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    So it's like a Duron, but with an even sillier name?

    1. Re:Duron? by Josh+Booth · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sempron sounds rather hard for English (myself included) speakers to pronounce. They'll probably say "semperon" instead, which seems more reasonable anyway since semper is Latin for always. Or they could just be blunt and call it "AllwaysOnium"

    2. Re:Duron? by maskedbishounen · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yes, in an effort for to promote "brand identity", and after the great success they had with their T-bird line, they're going to name it "Firefox".

      --
      "An infinite number of monkeys typing into GNU emacs would never make a good program."
  4. Bad name by ebcdic · · Score: 5, Funny

    I feel sure this will immediately be spelt "sempr0n".

    1. Re:Bad name by System.out.println() · · Score: 2, Funny

      In fact it already *has* been spelled sempr0n. Allow me to link you.

      --
      I've got more mod points and GMail invi
  5. Sempron... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hm.Sempr0n.

    Sounds like something having to do with Marine porn.

  6. Whats up with these names?? by jamesdood · · Score: 4, Funny

    I mean Sempron? Opteron, Xeon, maybe I would by a new processor when they come out with the Orgasmatron!

    --
    *narf!*
    1. Re:Whats up with these names?? by MoonBuggy · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's not quite a processor...

    2. Re:Whats up with these names?? by System.out.println() · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was bored, so I Googled.... and apparently, it's already copyrighted.

      --
      I've got more mod points and GMail invi
    3. Re:Whats up with these names?? by fembots · · Score: 3, Funny

      They should have introduced Megatron in '90s, if Transformers allows AMD to use that name; and eventually have Gigatron when they broke the GHz barrier.

      --
      Rock that crushes, Paper & Scissors that don't matter.
    4. Re:Whats up with these names?? by The+Lynxpro · · Score: 3, Funny

      "I mean Sempron? Opteron, Xeon, maybe I would by a new processor when they come out with the Orgasmatron!"

      I'm waiting for the Megatron myself.

      --
      "Right now, somewhere in this world, Scott Baio is plowing a woman he doesn't love," - Peter Griffin, *Family Guy*
  7. Simpron by hirschma · · Score: 1, Funny

    AMD is just asking for abuse. See here.

    1. Re:Simpron by Spad · · Score: 2, Funny

      Whereas by misreading the name of the processor, you're just begging for abuse...

  8. A processor optimized for downloading music ! by sufehmi · · Score: 4, Funny


    From PC Magazine's article :

    Basic computing is no longer just about e-mail, Web browsing or word processing. Today, it's also about downloading and playing music, as well as sending pictures to family and friends


    Yes !! Finally, they've created a processor optimized to downloading music. With Sempron, you can download MP3s 10x faster than using Celeron!

    Intel, eat my pants.

    Now I remember why I cancelled my subscription to PC Magazine years ago....

  9. Re:Whats with the -ron? by erucsbo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hidden performance problems that surface later - like Enron?, or is it just that when the heavy calculations need to be done, the high end chips will say "see you later on" while these low end ones stagger on.

  10. Re:Whats with the -ron? by flamelord · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sauron would work well.

    I want a Sauron processor.

  11. Ob. Monty Python... by Mister+Transistor · · Score: 4, Funny

    AMD annnounced today the new line of Semprini proc...

    (sounds of announcer being taken away...)

    Those responsible for this announcement have been sacked.

    --
    -- You are in a maze of little, twisty passages, all different... --
  12. Re:You've gotta admit by RobinH · · Score: 4, Funny

    my router/firewall alone is a 333PII, which, for the average luser is WAY more than enough.

    Well, a 333 P2 would choke on just half of the spyware that's installed on Joe 6 Pack's computer, so I doubt he'd be happy with the performance.

    --
    "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain
  13. Don't forget their next processor line... by Dr+Cool · · Score: 5, Funny

    And for the energy and utility markets, they're making a new line of processors called the Enron. But I hear their beta version had problems with the floating-point unit... it kept inflating numbers by 20% to 50%.

  14. Marketing geniuses... by NoMoreNicksLeft · · Score: 4, Funny

    They wanted to emphasize that this was "more" than just a celeron, and of course, they had to keep the -on suffix.

    Introducing the AMD Moron....

  15. Semper... by hpa · · Score: 4, Funny

    The first thing the name "Sempron" reminded of was the fact that Semper is a Swedish brand of baby formula.

  16. Re:Where do they get these names? by sploo22 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe I should RTFA...

    NOOOO! Don't do it! Just imagine the chaos if EVERYBODY clicked that link at the same time. We might even crash the server!

    *shudders at the thought*

    --
    Karma: Segmentation fault (tried to dereference a null post)
  17. Not lower, Higher!!! by elasticwings · · Score: 3, Funny

    Argh, stop making lower processors!!! Make new higher ones. I don't want to be able to afford a new cpu. I want to dream about new fast ones that cost more than I have. :P

  18. AMD what? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    AMD Spermon?
    AMD Sempr0n?

    I'd like to applaud the marketing people at AMD for showing that even though you are severely retarded, you can still come up with a name for a a discount CPU.

    And cheers to AMD for having such enlightened hiring practices! Most companies reserve the mentally deficient for IT jobs.

    1. Re:AMD what? by Merovign · · Score: 2, Funny

      On-topic: What is it with the stupid names! Always with the stupid names! Sempron! Opteron! VW Touareg! An economy station wagon called Matrix! Nasal CROM! Semprini! I know it's hard to find names, but criminy!

      Off-topic: If there were a real-life meeting of Kuro5hin.org posters, I would want to know so I could be somewhere else. In comparison, /. is a bastion of fraternal love and kindness. Even on bad days.

  19. Re:soundalike by 7Ghent · · Score: 3, Funny

    So then wouldn't "Sempron" make a better name for a Viagra-like drug?

  20. And what about the Moron processor? by gatesh8r · · Score: 2, Funny

    Gotta have More Power!

    --
    Karma whorin' since 1999
  21. Re:Whats with the -ron? by kfg · · Score: 5, Funny

    New from K-Tel! The Dadooron cpu.

    Brought it home on Monday and my heart stood still.
    Dadooron ron ron, Dadooron ron.
    Loaded up this OS from a guy named Bill.
    Dadooron ron ron, Dadooron ron.
    Whoa, my heart stood still.
    Yeah, an OS from Bill.
    And then I booted up my,
    Dadooron ron ron, Dadooron ron.

    They knew what they were doin' when they caught my eye.
    Dadooron ron ron, Dadooron ron.
    A really nifty box and lots of pie in the sky.
    Dadooron ron ron, Dadooron ron
    Yeah, they caught my eye,
    With all that pie in the sky.
    And when I booted up my,
    Dadooron ron ron, Dadooron ron.

    But wait! Don't order yet. Call before midnight tonight and get a Moron XML4000 Ultra Plus with bluing for extra whiteness at no extra cost!

    KFG

  22. The BBC would like to apologize by XanC · · Score: 2, Funny

    These are the words that are not to be used again on this programme:

    B*M
    B*TTY
    P*X
    KN*CKERS
    KN*CKERS
    W**-W**

  23. Re:Whats with the -ron? by VistaBoy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, if you translated Athlon from English to Japanese to English, you might get Athron...

  24. No computers. by IGnatius+T+Foobar · · Score: 3, Funny

    Low end processors, old processors, crap processors ... the problem is that people still have full-blown computers on their desks. Maybe if you're Joe Seven-Pak (you know, Joe Six-Pak's poweruser cousin) and you edit your home videos on your PC, it makes sense to have the latest and greatest. But I find it completely stupid -- actually, I find it downright obscene -- that businesses with bloody acres full of cubicle dwellers, have not embraced network computing solutions like LTSP or even Citrix. If it weren't for the damned status quo being continously hammered into people's minds by Intel and Microsoft, maybe people would realize that keeping power off the desktop and centralized behind the glass is the best way to lower the TCO of a multiuser environment.

    --
    Tired of FB/Google censorship? Visit UNCENSORED!
  25. Simpleton by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    AMD announces the Simpleton processor line. Designed to be a replacment for the older Moron line, the Simpleton features 4 more letters in its name. The new line is designed to compete with the current Intel Cheaparon line.

  26. Re:You've gotta admit by PedanticSpellingTrol · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm running XP Home on a K6-300 with - are you ready for this? 96 MB of ram. Yeah. I hate my life.

  27. name.... by Lehk228 · · Score: 2, Funny

    the first thing i saw in the name was Sem pron , so is it optomized for jpeg, and movie decoding or something?

    --
    Snowden and Manning are heroes.
  28. after a quick search... by Nyder · · Score: 3, Funny

    after a quick search I realised the 2 most stupid things that usally gets asked didn't.

    "Can it run linux?"

    "Can you imagine a beowolf cluster of these?"

    thanks

    um, hey, look, the only reason I post stupid stuff like these is because I can't find a job.
    So check my blog if you'd like to help...

    http://nyder.blogspot.com

    --
    Be seeing you...
  29. Running Server 2003... by Ayanami+Rei · · Score: 2, Funny

    on a 533 MHz celeron and 128MB of RAM, and a laptop hard drive.

    The scary thing is, it's the one of the most responsive windows machine I have.

    Just goes to show you: Server 2003, it's XP, except it doesn't suck!

    --
    THIS THING CAN TURN ON A DIME, MACROSSZERO STYLE ALSO FUCK BETA, ~NYORON
  30. Re:Whats with the -ron? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The engrish speaking people will also list Athlon here ;-)