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Spammer Apologizes
radarsat1 writes "The Globe and Mail reports that Canadian professional spammer Eric Head, after being sued by Yahoo!, has apologized formally for his behaviour and vows to mend his ways by teaching others about the dangers of the internet. Let's hope others begin to take his lead."
that he doesn't do it by email...
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? Am I wrong?
And you may say to yourself
My god! What have I done?
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
He never apologised to me.
In Soviet Russia, Canada Spams YOU!
Join the Free Software Foundation
...if I ever see him, I'll beat the crap outta him. Then apologize.
FLR
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RTFA. The spammer will apologize and will work for a charitable organization. Already he has plans to send out emails asking to help the Nigerian Prime Minister unlock trillions of dollars from the Sultan of Brunei -- all he needs is a small donation from YOU!
--Kevin
I better start stocking up on those penis pills before they become scarce!
"It is critical that every person be given an opportunity to opt-out of receiving e-mail correspondence promoting commercial products." ...so now will I get 3000 e-mails a day asking if I want to opt out of getting a new "perfect" loan?
A dark, sinister voice is heard to say, "Sucker. More bandwidth for me to use and more space in email boxes for me to stuff."
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
He formally changes his first name to "Dick". And says his first and last name each time he introduces himself.
Hello, this is Homer Simpson, a.k.a. Happy Dude. The court has ordered
me to call every person in town to apologize for my telemarketing scam.
I'm sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send one
dollar to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. You have the
power.
Thanks to Eric, I've reduced my mortgage to anall-time low and have added 3 inches to my viagra-driven member.
Thanks, Eric.
Best Windows Freeware
Comment removed based on user account deletion
He should say the words "I'm Sorry" for every single spam message that he sent. That should take him, oh, about 50 years!
Coming soon...
Bill Gates has formerly apologized for producing bloated, buggy software and forcing it down people's throats by making computer manufacturers install it on all new machines. "We will be issuing out a free version of Microsoft Windows and Microsoft Office to all existing customers that will remove all of the unnecessary bloat that we have been adding over the years and fix all of the bugs and annoyances we have introduced," Gates said at a press conference today. "We acknowledge that our customers can probably think for themselves better than we can think for them. Clippy and all those other annoying animations will be no more!"
He also expressed regret over allowing Internet Explorer to languish for so long. "With the example of the innovative browsers like Firefox and Opera, it has become obvious that our browser is severely lacking. With new versions of Windows, the user will be presented with the option of installing the browser of their choice."
Microsoft plans to slash their prices on all new Windows merchandise and remove the restrictions on computer manufacturers to allow "greater freedom in the software market". The new initiative is for "smaller, faster, cleaner" throughout their product lines. They have also expressed plans to release a free update to Visual Studio .NET to fix its many bugs. "We have come to the realization that we need to trust programmers to write their own code, especially since our employees have no clue how to write clean HTML code. There is no reason that we should force our customers to purchase an update with such a gross oversight."
Well, if a spammer can apologize, maybe, just maybe... nah.
I believe in de-evolution. God made the world perfect, man fell, and its been going downhill ever since!
Date Sent: Tuesday, June 15, 2004 11:51 AM
From: Eric Head
To: andavis9
(NOTE: My name isn't even slightly close to "andavis")
Subject: Apology
Andavis9
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most places charge $15, we charge $3 ONLY!
- No embarassing doctor visits
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Order today, and become the stud you always wanted to be.
http://-------.biz/superhard/
This is one-time e-mailing. No-removal are required.
rkndfjbhjhfmmkkoaeucmu ow mz
pj ix usynr
rzyevfencth
Yahoo (worried about Gmail stealing their email customers and looking for a sacrificial lamb to appease the email gods): "Bring us the head of Eric Head!!" Eric Head: "But I'm like, sorry, eh? I just want to play in a band and rock out about how i was a spamming hoser to little kids. How aboot it, eh?" Yahoo: "Ok. And you give us $100k." Eric Head: "Greedy americans..."
I'd rather see him wandering dazed around the back woods of Maine. In hunting season. Without the orange vest.
From: Eric Head
To: asdf (you@yourdomain.com)
Subj: I'm sorry
I'm sorry about spamming you all these years. If you forgive me, send $1 to "Sorry Dude"
742 Evergreen Terrace
--Sorry Dude
>Spammers lie.
Rule #2, nobody talks about - oh... nevermind.
I don't know the meaning of the word 'don't' - J
Of course the Nigerian PM is still alive you dolt! He's the lousy bastard that put the screws on Mr (Formerly Colonel) M'buato (and his freedom fighters) and brought about the dire situation he's currently trying to escape. If it wasn't for the Nigerian PM my friend M'buato would be President M'buato and the Nigerian people would be living in peace free from oppression.
Once I've done my part to secure enough money to get the locked bank accounts transferred over here into my name THEN the Nigerian PM will meet his fate (once I get my 20% of course).
First I've heard of the Sultan being involved though. I need to email Mr. M'buato and check on that. He should know what to do...
Appended to the end of comments you post. 120 chars.
Am I the only one that read the last part of the article as "Let's hope others begin to take his head?" Now that would be an interesting (if overly cruel) approach for spammers. :^)
Vasilis Vasaitis
Late readers: please moderate at Newest First, with a low threshold, to promote late writers.
Dear Friend!
This is not spam! Let me tell you about the dangers of the internet!
If you're not careful, you might start to send unsolicited email. Lots of it. I don't.
If you do not wish to receive more messages like this, click here.
Best regards,
Erihk Heed
Any technology distinguishable from magic, is insufficiently advanced.
From: "Eric Head"
Subject: LEARN ABOUT THE DANGERS OF THE INTERNET
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL & URGENT.
Dear,
Are you sick of getting scammed? Have you been burned by offers to consol1date your m0rtg.age, add 1nches to your man hood, or win a fre-ee is1and get@way?
We all have! BUT NO MORE!
"The Dangers of the Internet", the incredible new book by Eric Head, former Director of DirectConsumer Marketing Affairs for a Fortune 500 company*, will show YOU how to keep from getting scammed in the future! Best of all, the book is absolutely FRIE, with your purchase of this inexpensive herbal v1@gra alternative! Only three payments of $39.99 each, WOW!!
*in China.
Hunting rifle....100-250$
Ammo...15-25$
Hunter's permit...25$
Spammer all tied-up and disguised to look like a moose during hunting season....priceless
There are somes things money can't buy...
I live in Soviet Canuckistan you insensitive clod!
In other news, Hell dropped to a nippy -5 degrees Celcius. Wrap up warm kiddies.
And tomorrow the stock exchange will be the human race
Get high profile spammers to send out bulk emails critical of the Church of Scientology, and watch them sue each other to death.
" The pills won't make your penis larger."
But I thought that one pill makes you larger, one pill makes you small, and the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all! Just ask the rabbit, when he's ten feet tall.
... the most sincere form of self-criticism.
To a Lisp hacker, XML is S-expressions in drag.
Ouch. I swear my girlfriend has made the exact same apology before.
easy solution: have your 10meg email box fill up in 57 seconds, and just let the next 11 months and 30 days go by without any new spam:)
i hope he sends us all a letter of apology to back up his words