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SCO Announces Product Line Updates

Posted by timothy on from the lifejacketed-rats dept.

ArbiterOne writes "Techworld has the story: SCO has unveiled their upcoming product plans, including a new release of UnixWare and a version for point-of-sale devices. Oddly enough, the article states that 'SCO's continuing Unix intellectual property lawsuits against IBM, Novell and others is apparently putting customers off.' I wonder how that could have happened?"

25 of 383 comments (clear)

  1. SCO Has Products? by Ridgelift · · Score: 5, Funny

    The SCO Group has produced a new-product road map and an aggressive marketing plan to try and recharge its flagging core Unix business.

    SCO actually produces a product?

    --
    Ruby on Rails Screencast
    1. Re:SCO Has Products? by svallarian · · Score: 4, Funny

      I hear they're the number one producer of bullshit in Utah!

      Steven V>

      --
      I patented screwing your mom. But it got revoked for "prior art."
    2. Re:SCO Has Products? by SIGALRM · · Score: 4, Funny

      SCO actually produces a product?

      In a sense, SCO itself is a product...

      ... of AT&T, Novell, Linux, IBM, etc...

      --
      Sigs cause cancer.
    3. Re:SCO Has Products? by somethinghollow · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, they are selling the general public a load of shite / lies / FUD about Linux. I guess if you box it up, you could call it "UnixWare" and watch no one buy it.

    4. Re:SCO Has Products? by _Sprocket_ · · Score: 4, Funny

      It only makes sense. Darl has pointed out that he's a cattleman. And if there's one thing a cattleman knows about, it is the byproducts of cattle.

    5. Re:SCO Has Products? by Pfhreak · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, Orin Hatch is the number one producer of bullshit in Utah.

      --
      The U.S. Constitution needs to be ammended with a "separation of business and state" clause.
    6. Re:SCO Has Products? by JDevers · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's true...I would imagine the market potential of the shit might actually be better than Unixware....

  2. So by FictionPimp · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does this mean they actually have developers? Or did they just up the product version number?

    1. Re:So by ari_j · · Score: 5, Funny

      Don't you think they're a little underqualified to be changing version numbers? That'd break all sorts of dependencies. It's much easier to keep the same version number and just put it in a different box.

    2. Re:So by ajrs · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, they just upgraded the GPL software they ship with their old stuf

  3. From the book... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    ...of How to Run a Successful Business for Dummies...

    Rule #1: Don't sue your own customers!

    I mean it's that simple

    1. Re:From the book... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...of How to Run a Successful Business for Dummies...
      Rule #1: Don't sue your own customers!

      Bought any music lately?

    2. Re:From the book... by peeping_Thomist · · Score: 4, Funny

      Bought any music lately?

      No. I think that was the original poster's point.

      --
      Anything worth doing is worth doing badly -- G.K. Chesterton
  4. SCO's new product... by jadenyk · · Score: 5, Funny

    A new kind of lawsuit.

  5. Conincidence? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. SCO announces new products.
    2. Linus announces new kernel updates.

    So that FedEx package with CD-ROMs from "anonymous insider" finally arrived at OSDL?

  6. Mega hurt? by stecoop · · Score: 5, Funny

    Funny. When I went to read this article. The Add at the top of the page shows a shirless (maybe naked) guy setting behind a desk with the flashing caption Megahertz. I believe its an omen of what its like to work at SCO.

  7. Money back guarantee by beef3k · · Score: 5, Funny

    Missing footnote:

    "Due to our current ongoing lawsuits (which, admittedly, we're not so sure was a good idea in the first place anymore) SCO can only offer a limited money back guarantee of 3 days from the intial purchase date at this time.

    See you in hell,
    --
    Darl"

  8. Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Linux kernel 2.6.7 just came out so... :-)

  9. Re:SCO has a product? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Having looked at their products, they are very impressive.

    You need to look harder. They've stagnated for years now, this is like microsoft having been selling Windows 95 for the last 10 years, and only now coming out with a preview of Windows 98.

    I'm glad they can impress you. Truly. And if you thought that was good, look out your window and see the dog with the fluffy tail... that's gotta make your YEAR.

  10. Thanks slashdot! by 222 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That headline caused me to shoot coffee out of my nose, you insensitive clods!

    1. Re:Thanks slashdot! by The+Wookie · · Score: 4, Funny

      That headline caused me to shoot coffee out of my nose, you insensitive clods!

      The same thing happened to me. The scary thing is, I don't drink coffee.

  11. SCO's new software releases: by humungusfungus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Baseless Accusations v1.01
    Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt v9.421 (previously acquired from Microsoft)
    Lack of Evidence v2.2

    --
    No sig.
  12. UnixWare is great! by nule.org · · Score: 5, Funny

    7.1.4 now comes with 27% more lawsuit!

  13. Re:article by asr_man · · Score: 5, Funny

    * UnixUnderwear 7.1.4 (now slipping)

    * Bigfoot embedded (in mouth)

    * SCOorifice Server (pounding away on clueless customers)

    * Urban Legend (code name for the next release of OpenServer)
  14. Re:Famous last words? by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny

    We um... have the documents here... we just have to convince the judge to let us read them out of... um... THIS HAT! You see, we put the documents and the runestones in the hat and then the letters glow and decipher to English, then we can read them to the court! Dum dum dum dum dum!

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?