Slashdot Mirror
Spider-Man 2 Game Rewarded To Tusk-Impaled Spidey Copycat
Thanks to FirstCoastNews/AP for its article discussing the videogame reward for a Florida child who impaled himself on an ornamental elephant tusk while impersonating Spider-Man. Apparently, after viewing the movie and "playing at his grandmother's home, imitating some of the super hero's moves... the boy lost his balance... and then hit the heavy mahogany elephant.. and half the elephant's large ivory tusk broke off and got stuck in his body." Post-accident, the boy's mother explained "she was proud of her son keeping his composure during the ordeal... [and] he'll be rewarded with a Spider-Man 2 video game [as recently covered on Slashdot Games]", saying "That was his motivation through it all... I'm like, whatever it takes." Feel free to suggest other hospitalization-related acts that could be performed to receive a similarly-themed videogame.
... isn't it nice that, for a change, people (at least one person) don't go totally moral-panic, demanding censorship and warning labels on everything?
I heard about this guy that worked at some place with these other guys that some friends of my second cousin knew, that REALLY wanted a copy of Half-Life. This was back in like '98. See, this guy's wife really, really, really didn't understand what the gane was about, so the guy tried to show her why he wanted it so bad and pulled out a crowbar and started whaling on things all over the house!
Once she got out of the coma, and he got off his 3-4 year sentence, he got their kid's copy of Half-Life with the divorce settlement and he's had all the time he needed to play it ever since!
True story!
My own pointless vanity vintage computing page
"Armed forces abroad are of little value unless there is prudent counsel at home" - Cicero
Electocute yourself trying to rig up a virtual sex machine... win Final Fantasy
Jump in front of a Subaru win GT 2...
Walk down any lower east LA street... win Doom II
Return from Iraq... win Splinter Cell
Fight of a gater in Florida, win Redneck rampage...
Surf the net unprotected, win IE 6... oh you would have to have it already to do that...
Impaled by a tusk imitating Spiderman... could have been worse... He could have taken grandma out in the process...
flinging poop since 1969
Because you just know the next time he sees a giant elephant statue, he's going to think "Hey, if I impale myself on this things tusks, I could get a free computer game!". Don't be stupid. The kid is five years old, and has just been airlifted to hospital and probably scared half to death. And remember not to send flowers or chocolates to your next friend who injures themselves and lands in hospital - you'll only encourage them.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
What the heck was an elephant statue with sharpened tusks doing at the same elevation as a 5-year-old? While I have no kids of my own, I have several dozen young cousins, and the first rule of watching 5-year-olds is to make sure that dangerous and fragile items are stuffed in a closet before they arrive.
I think grandma here is more interested in not being sued for negligence herself.
the elephants. Clearly elephants are attempting to destroy our youth. Before they were content just to spy upon them from afar, but now their sleeper agents are attacking our children in our own homes. Something needs to be done.
Remember, if not us, who? If not now, when? Join G.A.E.I. (Gamers Against Elephant Impalement) today. Get G.A.E.I. today, for the children.
How about being utterly absorbed by a MORPG, forsaking your family, job and any outdoor activity to completely immerse yourself in the gaming experience. What do you get after spending 96 straight hours battling in the realms of Norath?
.hack//infection, .hack//mutation, .hack//outbreak or .hac//quarantin, of course.
A copy of
The cancel button is your friend. Do not hesitate to use it.