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PlayStation 3 To Debut at E3 2005
Yorrike writes "According to the BBC, Sony are planning to officially reveal the PlayStation 3 at the E3 Expo in May 2005. They're obviously not wanting to be outdone by Nintendo, who announced the same plans for the GameCube successor, as well as Xbox 2's rumored debut around that time. Looks like E3 2005 is going to be a biggy." Worth noting that's not the ship date, but when people will see it.
...after they renamed the project Playstation Forever.
haha... time to port linux to the next generation Xbox :b
Don't they mean 70 million PS2 units SHIPPED, and not sold?
In other news, Nintendo describes Sony's marketting division as a bunch of mindless jerks who will be the first against the wall when the Revolution comes.
(sorry, had to.)
"SOUTHFIELD, MIBored with scaring elderly misers, the Ghost of Christmas Future is spending the holiday season taunting modern children with visions of Christmas 2016's hottest toy: the Sony PlayStation 5, a 2,048-bit console featuring a 45-Ghz trinary processor, CineReal graphics booster with 2-gig biotexturing, and an RSP connector for 360-degree online-immersion play."
now if i just had the time to play one
Non-System foot or foot error. remove from mouth and strike any key when ready
Atari will also return to form with their new 128-bit Jaguar 2 & Jaguar 2 CD, now more toilet-like than ever!
--- What?
I was wondering how to contact them about doing some development for it. I've got this really neat ray tracer that should be fantastic on all those processors....
I remember seeing a preview interview of the Playstation 3 a few years ago.
Sony: Dreamcast? Ha ha, funny stupid yankee! You dishonor me with your mention of this Dreamcast. The Praystation 3 does not connect to internet, Praystation 3 CONTAIN the internet. You prugga in the computer to the port, the internet isa all there. We copy it inside machine for fast access.
mis: Wait, so you're saying that you copied every single file on the internet into this box? That doesn't even make any sense! The internet is a constantly changing network of millions of individual machines. How does the PS3 update its so called "internet" if it has no connections to the real network?
Sony: Thasa right. No connections. Praystation 3 get internet from outerspace.
mis: And its power?
Sony: It run on love.
...the Ninentendo GameHyperCube? For all your 4D tesseract gameplaying needs?
Looks like your boycott was a huge success!
Only 70 million PS2 boxes was sold! Way to go!
If you mod me down, I *will* introduce you to my sister!
Then Nintendo will fuck it up, right on schedule:
Nintendo hardware design team will somehow manage to make the console look like yet another cheap toy. Packaging team, eager to leave GCN handle debacle behind them, will suggest shipping the console to retailers in a commemorative bookbag with Pokemon all over it.
Some designer on his lunch break will manage to relocate the Z button directly on the left circular edge of the analog stick and shrink the d-pad by another 50%. The d-pad is laid out such that you have to flip the controller over and rotate it at a 45 degree angle even have access to the d-pad. Since Nintendo invented the d-pad, his co-workers do not question him.
Console shipping color will be purple, pink, or bright orange, and it will not have any Certified-Badass blue status LEDs. Don't worry: true to Nintendo form, the only accessories available in your local EB will be colored differently than your console.
System's flash memory cards/drives will be 16 times too small. Nintendo will bitch about how developers are getting too lazy, and how they should strive to fit 20 encyclopedias worth of data in 3 memory blocks. (will not be remedied until 4 years after console launch.) Sony takes note and evolves PS3's units of storage from "kilobytes" to "encyclopedias".
Sony will outbid Nintendo for exclusive "GTA4" to be released at PS3 launch, and no Mario game will be ready at 'Revolution' launch. To make up for it, Nintendo releases four games that are only 25% fun.
Console will have 8+ ports on the bottom that will never be used for anything, just so you know it's a Nintendo system. Will be left unlabeled, since "SP" acronym was already taken for something other than "Speculation Ports". Fucking idiots will lose port covers, causing console to sit unbalanced. Nintendo, sensing a new market for mismatched-colored accessories, starts selling replacement port covers.
Network adapter not integrated and no wireless connectivity except to the portable Dual Boy (which was released two years ago at Christmas). Simplicity-oriented Nintendo will hand the plug-and-play Internet gaming market to Sony and Microsoft on a silver platter.
Third parties, already scared away during the N64 and GCN iterations, go with Sony.
Nintendo will ship Ultra Mario Bros. a whole 8 months after system launch, which just happens to be in May, a nice safe 6 to 7 months away from the lucrative Christmas shopping season.
Ultra Mario Bros. will have some stupid goddamned gimmick, like Mario wearing (oh, I don't know..) toasters instead of shoes. He won't punch blocks or collect coins, though. God forbid he should punch blocks or collect fucking coins. Nobody born prior to 1993 will like the game, and everyone will bitch.
Similar bullshit happens with the next Zelda pre-post-post-pre-post-prequel. Oh, by the way, Link's a kid in this one again. And get this, he's got a musical instrument. There's an option available to turn off cel-shading, but only if you beat the game twice on the same save.
Miyamoto will surface from his underground bunker 3 weeks later to insist that the players are wrong and that Nintendo's new batch of artists and programmers are innovators and that toaster shoes improve gameplay and that Link was always a kid. Suddenly, noticing the Mushroom Signal in the skies high over Kyoto, he hurriedly leaves in order to urgently not-supervise the next Mario game.
Dual Boy SP will be released 3 years and 1 month (December 26th) after complaints surface about the screens on the original Dual Boy acting as a black hole. Upon finding that shining light from both screens cancels out any external light, thereby darkening the space around it and making it impossible to see much less play, Nintendo proudly proclaims that, hey, it worked in R&D!
Jak