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Canadian Music Industry Drills Dentists

hereisnowhy writes "CBC reports that the tranquil music that wafts through many dental offices to soothe patients and mask the sounds of the drill may soon be silenced. The music industry is putting the bite on dentists -- demanding that they pay for the right to play it. The Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada would also like to extend this policy to 'coffee shops, clothing stores, lounges, elevators -- even radio tunes that people hear on the telephone while on hold.' Are any composers and authors actually in favour of this, or just the publishers?"

26 of 555 comments (clear)

  1. The scariest thing... by Dashing+Leech · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...is that somebody might actually get paid for elevator music.

    1. Re:The scariest thing... by stilwebm · · Score: 4, Funny

      I could only be so lucky. My dentists' office plays The Biggest Country Hits.

      Unfortunately they do not use gas.

    2. Re:The scariest thing... by Joe+Tie. · · Score: 2, Funny

      Luxury! My grocery market switched to playing a country station last week. I still haven't decided which is worse, starving to death or having to listen to that again.

      --
      Everything will be taken away from you.
    3. Re:The scariest thing... by flacco · · Score: 2, Funny
      Muzak's been in that business for years.

      in further evidence that nothing sacred is safe from perversion, i offer that muzak has gone seriously downhill since the glory days of the seventies and even early eighties.

      muzak used to be instantly recognizable as highly sanitized, soothing, mantovani-type music that could practically wipe your mind clean - almost physically unfocus your eyes and remove the expression from your face.

      now they've gone all "hip" and environmental and electronic. i like environmental and electronic but sometimes you just want the classic muzak experience.

      --
      pr0n - keeping monitor glass spotless since 1981.
  2. Lets not forget.. by spacecadetglow · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lets not forget the people with their car radio on and their windows rolled down. They are our number one priority man.

  3. Uh oh. by Shky · · Score: 3, Funny

    I sometimes play music loudly in my car with the windows down. I assume they'd be mad at me for that too.

    If so, I'm very, very sorry. Don't worry, it's not the kind of crappy music that you're worried about people hearing for free anyway. This music is good.

    --
    CC Licensed Serialized Story and Podcast: Ingenioustries
  4. Boy Ricers by usefool · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well, at least we won't hear the annoying loud music pumping out of a riced up car in the middle of the night near our neighborhood soon.

    --
    Uselessful technology (Air-Charged
  5. WHAT?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    You little dentist scum better sound off that you love the Canadian Music Industry, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out!

    God has a hard on for dentists, because we kill everything we see. He plays his games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh teeth. God was here before Dentistry, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the industry!

  6. Teeth by paulfwilliams · · Score: 5, Funny

    Perhaps the RIAA members will change their tune when they go for their dental checkups, and instead of soothing music, the dentists play recorded tracks of drilling and pulling teeth.

  7. Reminds me of a UF cartoon I once saw... by yeremein · · Score: 3, Funny
  8. Re:Article text in case of slashdotting by gclef · · Score: 4, Funny

    Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada shortens to SOCAN? No way. That abbreviates to SCAMP, and everyone knows it. (and it makes more sense, too.)

  9. Re:Stupid by uncoveror · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are there any recordings of tranquil music so old that they are in the public domain? If so, play those, and tell The Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada that the world's smallest violin is playing for them.

    --
    The Uncoveror: It's the real news.
  10. Re:Why dentists? by Zorilla · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's simple, they're anti-Dentites!

    (Sorry, too much Seinfeld)

    --

    It would be cool if it didn't suck.
  11. Ah, to be a dentist... by jlanthripp · · Score: 2, Funny
    and to have one of these scumbags sitting in my chair for a root canal...

    "Oops, sorry, thought I'd given you the anesthetic....too late now, let me turn on some soothing music to take your mind off the pain....oh, wait, sorry, can't do that anymore"

    --
    "Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
  12. It seems a bit backwards... by blix5 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah, I would *love* for my bands' music to forever be associated with dentist drilling and pain.

    If you look at it that way, the music industry should be paying the dentists to not plays their music.

  13. Important Quote by MBCook · · Score: 2, Funny
    A spokesman was (not) quoted as saying...

    "We will also be attacking auto shops,
    billing some breakfast nooks,
    complaining about co-ops,
    demanding at doctor's offices,
    enjuncting eateries,
    freaking out flyers,
    grabbing from greenhouses,
    holding up hotels,
    infringing on rights at investment offices,
    jostling Jeep dealers,
    kneedling some knitting stores,
    leavying against lawyers' offices,
    meddling at muesems,
    nosing around news stands,
    offending offices,
    prodding price-clubs,
    questioning Quick Stops,
    requesting of restrants,
    shaking-down a few sugar shacks,
    troubling travel agents,
    unhinging uppolstry shop managers,
    video-taping vacuum stores,
    wringing out waterparks,
    X-Raying Xerox service centers,
    yelling at yogurt shops,
    and zig zagging around zoos. "

    Good thing nothing like this ever happens in the US. *sigh*

    --
    Comment forecast: Bits of genius surrounded by a sea of mediocrity.
  14. So.... by FlutterVertigo(gmail · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...if dentists are getting drilled by this, what's happening to proctologists?

    1. Re:So.... by DrMrLordX · · Score: 2, Funny

      The RIAA is launching a probe to investigate the issue.

  15. Seinfeld by CrazyJim0 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just more Anti-Dentite propoganda for you.

  16. In continuing on the logic train here... by Surazal · · Score: 4, Funny

    In this line of thinking the recording industry had better be careful about targetting the urologists... talk about the potential for backfiring!

    --
    --- Journals are boring; Go to my web page instead
  17. Make Them Pay !!! by CaptainFrito · · Score: 2, Funny
    The solution to this is to have dentists begin licensing dental work to recording industry professionals. Every time those wankers smile and show those pearly white caps, every time a photo is run with them grinning, everytime they chew something...

    In order to make it palatable, the dentists need a publicist to headline a few high-profile cases where poor dentists are shown losing everything because nobody is buying new dental work anymore. Picture it: a few talking heads discussing how this will eventually devastate the economy, how billions will leave the country to futher line the pockets of foriegn magnates. Forclosures, bad credit card debt, dentists leaving the industry for better prospects in other industries..how the brain-drain is sapping innovation, how the masses are now beginning to suffer from a death of dental professionals...

    They should then push for important new legislation to stop all gray-market dental work from being done: The Dental Millenium Universal Hygiene Act. Of course the name has been chosen to impicitly ironic, suggesting that the welfare of the commoner is being looked after.

    Oh great, I have to run. The company that makes the turbofan cooling my video card proccessor chip is here with a subpoena demanding I pay for the traquil whir i've been listening to all this time, or else.

  18. Re:What makes an artist? by ZorbaTHut · · Score: 2, Funny

    There's also a *lack* of distinction that needs to be emphasized.

    All else being equal, musical artists and programmer artists have the exact same goals - stay alive and get their work out to as many appreciative people as possible.

    It just happens that the handy method music people have of making a living plain doesn't work for coders, which sucks.

    (I just had a mental image of live stadium programming. With an announcer, of course. "It looks like he's using polymorphism! Oh no, he's misspelled 'class'. Wait, what's he doing? Yes, folks, he's SCRATCHING HIS BALLS")

    --
    Breaking Into the Industry - A development log about starting a game studio.
  19. My Dentist just sings by Facekhan · · Score: 2, Funny

    My Dentist (big hairy jewish guy) and his really hot hygenists (this is why I deliberately give myself cavities) sing showtunes to me while they do their thing. Its wonderful...

  20. Re:Article text in case of slashdotting by screwballicus · · Score: 2, Funny
    Don't put it past us.

    We are, after all, the country which conceived "The CCRAP" as a political party (Canadian Conservative Reform Alliance Party).

    Subsequent to immediate expressions of concern regarding the acronym, it was of course fairly quickly changed, but the former members of that party will continue to live on in the hearts and minds of Canadians under their original title.

  21. Hold still please - what did you say you do? by tod_miller · · Score: 2, Funny

    RIAA: I 'ork 'hor 'theee 'aarr'eeeaaaay
    Dentist: What?
    RIAA: *spit* the RIAA, you know...
    Dentist: hmmmm....

    *zzzzzzzzzzzzgrrrrrrriiiilllzzzdddmmmmmmmmmm*

    Subsonic drill noises
    Sounds of delicate enamel being drilled

    *Blood curdling scream of agony*

    Oh yes, you have chosen to piss off all the wrong people now, you overpaid music execs... next time you feel the drill penetrate your sensitive nerves, or you get stuck in the lift listening to Avril Latrine... you will know...

    --
    #hostfile 0.0.0.0 primidi.com 0.0.0.0 www.primidi.com 0.0.0.0 radio.weblogs.com
  22. Thank you for holding by rakanishu · · Score: 2, Funny

    this moment of silence brought to you by the Canadian Music Industry