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System Administrator Appreciation Day
rmadmin writes "Yes, it's that time of year again! Today is the 5th annual Systems Administrator Appreciation Day! Show us admin's how much you love us. (Otherwise we may just walk out, It's been a long day) Happy Systems Administrator Day!" If any of the OSTG netops staff are reading this, thanks again for all your help in recent weeks.
Canonical Guide to System Adminstration
1. Send out daily emails about the latest Microsoft IE virus. People don't delete those without reading them.
2. Recommend installing a Mozilla browser. Why would they need you to do it for them.
3. If they fuck it up, make sure to make them feel small and stupid. That's what you're here for.
4. When a manager tells you he can't log into his email, assume that he had neglected to skip every step required to log in to email before checking the email system. Managers often enjoy having their intelligence insulted.
5. Warn users that the network will be down no more than 15 minutes before scheduled maintenance.
6. Before disallowing users to use P2P software, make sure you have found a workaround for your workstation. This is your SysAdmin perk.
7. When the printer won't print, and you've had the user reset his machine at least 3 times, you may then diagnose the printer. Not before.
8. How did these people make their way out of their respective mother's womb?
9. It's okay to spend your spare time bothering the receptionist. She's there to entertain you.
10. When a project manager tells you he needed something yesterday, that means you can wait 364 days before getting it done.
11. Even though there are commercials on the radio training idiots to do your job, you are an irreplaceable resource.
12. Since you are in charge of the IT infrastructure, it's okay for you to bitch incessantly about Windows. That's the only things will ever change, anyway.
13. Surf porn on your computer. After all, if you're worth your salt, it's not being logged or firewalled. It's also not at all creepy.
14. New computers don't require a UPS.
15. When making out the budget for new equipment, make sure that your computer has a 256MB video card. You want to make sure that you get the clearest picture possible for your shells. It's only money, right?
16. Speaking of which, make sure that computer need to be upgraded or replaced on a semiannual basis. This is what we call "job security".
17. If you see someone printing out a large document. Cancel it. they should have knwon better.
18. Make sure that when the entire development network goes down, you're out back smoking a cigarette with the receptionist. She'll never go out on a date with out if you don't put in the time.
19. When users are doing the death march and you get paged at home on the weekend, it's no hurry. Nothing that can't wait until you get done playing Unreal.
20. Users will never learn unless you adequately convey to them how truly ignorant they are. You are their god, and they should recognize this by now. But make sure to use dirty looks and exasperated sighs to convery this, not actual word.
21. Yes, the receptionist did just wink at you as you walked by. How can she resist your ponytail and questionably groomed facial hair?
21. Finally, your job will be easier if you set up an easy way for users to submit problems online. However, make the location of said online help as difficult as possible to locate when it's needed.
most admins I have run into are rude pricks who seem to hate their jobs and consider everyone else stupid. why should they be appreciated. if you hate your job so much quit!
did you forget to take your meds?
- Waiting 2.999 days (required response in 3 days) to respond to a trouble ticket. - Closing trouble tickets without responding (much less actually fixing the problem). - Trying to fix hardware which you have no expertise in. (i.e . wasting time). - Being available approximately half of the work week. - Installing software which you know will have compatabiltity problems. - Installing software that you do not even know how to open. - Making it seem that I work for you. - Stating, "that's not my job", to any and all problems,duh! - wasting my time for your convience. IT, insufferable scum of the earth.
"Everyone knows Lenin had to setup a police state," Chomsky