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McBride Says No More Lawsuits From SCO
thephotoman writes "Well, Darl McBride gave an interview to IDG News Services in which he said that SCO is not going to sue any more customers. They do bring up the issue of the SCOsource Linux licensing, and how much of a failure it has been. Instead, they plan to start marketing their flavor of Unix. However, as he's not dropping the current lawsuits, there's no good reason to believe him on this change in strategy."
Not suing customers, particularly your own, is usually somewhere high on the list of Winning Business Strategies.
"Smithers, how much did our iron-fisted grab for licensing fees get us?"
"$11,000, last quarter, Sir."
"Ehhxcellent! They must be crowding around like lemmings, eager to hand over their money!"
"Uh, No Sir, it cost us millions to get that much."
"In the parlance of that oafish brute Homer Simpson, D'oh!"
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Someone gave McBride the wrong quote. He actually meant to quote Hudson, from Aliens:
"Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man, now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man... That's it man, game over man, game over, man! Game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?"
What's coming up next, Duke Nukem Forever or Doom 3- .... oh wait...
I guess the acid finally wore off. Spend millions to extract THOUSANDS!!!!!! in licensing fees. I am trully in awe of your threeleet business skillz, Darlzor.
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Crudely Drawn Games
McBride says they wont sue their own customers any more, but those "communist, anti-american, pro-terrorist" linux users got them just desserts coming, ayuh.
In other words, now that they have no customers, they will only be sueing ex-customers.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
McBride: We've got to figure out a creative way to market our brand of Unix or Linux will wipe us out. Anybody know how our product is better then any Unix flavor or Linux. We're not leaving this room until we get some ideas!!!
*fast forward 12 hours later nothing said*
McBride's junior exec: Sir, I believe this is known as the "oh sh*t moment in business" sir...
...in bed
It's kind of like saying, "I'm sorry I kicked your dog, but I'm not going to be kicking any more dogs because it seems to get dog owners upset," while kicking the dog several times...
My personal opinion is that Darl actually loves Linux, and he's been working as hard as he can to, on Microsoft's dime, paint the anti-Linux crowd as raving maniacs... I mean, he's not really this broken, is he?
SCO has a product and engineers to maintain it? When the hell? I thought they were just a group of ninja-attack lawyers based out of a defunct Taco Bell store owned by a Microsoft operative . . . . .
Only in a Slashdot fantasy can a Slackware install turn into several hours of sex . . . . .
playing Doom 3.
"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change."
Darl vs. Satan
SourceHosting.net, LLC
Ready. Set. Code.
http://www.sourcehosting.net/
I would not debase myself....
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I am a programmer. I am paid to produce syntax not grammar. Deal with it.
"However, as he's not dropping the current lawsuits, there's no good reason to believe him on this change in strategy."
That should read, "However, as it's Darl McBride, there's no good reason to believe him at all."
"Hardly used" will not fetch you a better price for your brain.
Both customers were sued...
At this point, I beleive a state from SCO about what they will do in the future carries an information content of zero.
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from a "Unix Port"
Aboard a sinking ship.
The mate was a mighty selling man
The skipper wasn't sure
Six passengers sat sail back then
For a legal language tour (a legal language tour)
The language started getting rough
The chrysler case was tossed (almost)
If not for the "courage" of the fearless crew
The lawsuits would be lost (the lawsuits would be lost)
The ship held ground on the shore of this
Old Mormon Desert Isle
With Billy Gates
And Ballmer too
Some millionaire
Named McBride
A Courtroom Star
McNealy and Canadians
Here on Darl McBride's Isle
TRANSLATOR ENGAGED:
There is much pleasure to be gained in useless knowledge.
As The SCO Group Inc.'s reseller and developer community gathers for its annual SCO Forum convention in Las Vegas this week...
Apparently they still have resellers/developers left too. I assume both of them are going to show up at the party in Vegas for the free booze.
I definately want to invest my entire IT budget into the flagship product of company that is surrounded with the stench of certain failure. How much is it? $699 per CPU you say? Is that all? Well that's just giving it away! Here, I'll pay you $5000 per CPU because the more I pay the more I get my money's worth, right? I mean afterall you get what you pay for and nothing is free, right? My CEO will be so happy with my informed decision to bank our IT operations on SCO products and support.
Quote "We think in the future, software developers are going to be more motivated by getting paid for their work rather than contributing and not getting paid."
Um. Ya. I haven't cared about getting paid so far. I'll think about that in the future.
Sheesh.
Does Darl think that they'll drop their countersuits at this news? Like a sociopath moving into a hippie commune "We're not crazy anymore... We've changed! We love everyone now. ALL BETTER!"
Judge: "Prosecution? You may present your case."
SCO Lawyer: "I know... KUNG-FU!! HHYYYAAAAHH!!"
Judge: "Uhh.. Defense? Yours?"
Linux Laywer: "We beleive the fact that the prosecution is attempting to break his desk in half with his forehead is representative of our case, your honour."
SCO Lawyer: "OOH!! This hurt head!! Must try, ancient technique! KKIIIAAAAAAAA--DDAAAARLLLL--!" *WHACK!* *Passes out*
Judge: "....um, case dismissed."
Hmmm. Damnit, now I wish I could actually see a ninja-attack lawyer in action... stupid overactive imagination...
Hell, if McBride gets any more deranged he's likely to start suing Microsoft customers.
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
McBride Says No More Lawsuits From SCO..
Bill Gates to refund every Windows XP users money "because its rubbish"..
An end to all wars in the world..
A pony for every child..
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
Darl already made millions by inflating the SCO stock so I don't think that he gives a damn what happens to SCO now.
From what I've seen of insider sales figures, it doesn't seem that Darl has made millions for himself, only for the previous SCO management, which is probably what he is being paid for.
The other possibility is that the interviewer offered Darl a dollar bill and a couple of lines. Evidence from the linked article:
McBride [with rolled dollar bill in nose]: . . . It's really a situation of going back to the future, if you will. [Sniffff].
Linus was mostly right.
WTF? Aren't real lawyers banned from slashdot? you asshole, you're going to kill the market on free legal advice here...
First they came up with "The Plan": Don't buy our products and we won't sue you.
This failed and they came up with "The Other Plan": Buy our products and we will sue you.
They finally tried "The Other, Other Plan": If you don't buy our products we will sue you.
And they had a hit!
Rather than trying to pound through all of those issues on a daily basis, we've been content to say, "We're going to work our issues through the courtroom, and when everything is resolved there, we'll be good to go
Good to go where, exactly? The unemployment line? A beach in Tahiti? In search of more infringing code in other programs? C'mon, Darl, give us a hint! It's not like you'll be doing a booming business in selling your SCOmware after this is all over.
Perhaps SCO is not sueing any more customers because they've pretty much reached the end of their list of customers?
You were mistaken. Which is odd, since memory shouldn't be a problem for you