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ESA To Study Human Hibernation
colonist writes "The European Space Agency (ESA) plans to study human hibernation for long-duration space voyages (a la 'Alien', '2001'). Although 'practical hibernation mechanisms are at least a decade away', ESA researchers will make initial inquiries into DADLE (D-Ala,D-Leu-enkephalin), an opium-like drug that triggers hibernation in ground squirrels and human cells. Other subjects of interest include dobutamine, a drug that maintains muscle, and the Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemur, the only primate known to hibernate."
Study making smarter bears capable of space travel! They already hibernate.
Perhaps all long-journey astronauts should be women. There is a well known but seldom used gene present in women that causes immediate hibernation. It has been called the sex-gene. Once the word sex is mentioned the women immediately roll over and are asleep within seconds. This will continue until sex has not been mentioned for at least eight hours. If an automated speaker was constructed to force the sex-gene into operation every 6 or so hours the women should (in theory) remain unconscious.
Yes my gf reads Slashdot. No, I am not getting any tonight.
for inspiration. They can sleep for days at a time.
The Dude abides.
This is just the start of a decade long project. Wake me when they capable of making me sleep for a decade.
ESA researchers will make initial inquiries into DADLE (D-Ala,D-Leu-enkephalin), an opium-like drug that triggers hibernation in ground squirrels and human cells. Other subjects of interest include dobutamine, a drug that maintains muscle, and the Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemur, the only primate known to hibernate."
An alternative solution is to design a virtual environment simulator that will make ground squirrels and Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemurs believe they are jumping across tree branches, when in fact they are piloting an interstellar spaceships.
Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
As long as it's cheap enough I can afford it on my unemployment check, I believe it would be a good idea to simply hibernate for 20-25 years, and bypass the entire recession!
Where can I buy some of this stuff?
"Don't worry sir, the device you're about to trust your life to is the result of years of research with the Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemur."
Also, if the eventual mechanism is based on bear hibernation, how are the astronauts going to wake up and poo in the woods periodically?
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
Instead of hibernating, let them program open source code for the entire trip. All they will need is a sufficient supply of pizza and beer, and there's no need to worry about troublesome human interactions.
Six score characters.
Brevity being wit's soul
I have enough space.
I want to hibernate and wake up in 5 years. So I can afford a Quake 3 compatible video card!
Having a name like that is a survival mechanism. You see, when anybody's hunting them, by the time they say, "Hey, there's a Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemur!" it's gotten away clean.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
The lid above rises and a light comes on. You are in a sponge-lined coffin. The only exit is out.
The panel has 10 buttons: black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, grey and white.
Secession is the right of all sentient beings.
those future scientists will have to figure out how to cure DEATH before they even think about getting to what ails you!
Before that, they have to find a cure for freezer burn.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Sounds like the perfect way to eliminate (subjectively) that pesky wait for Longhorn.....
Let me get this right, the ESA is creating an opium like drug to put people into hibernation on long space voyages.
And this drug work's successfully on ground squirrels.
Why not just send the squirrels into space, and skip humanity altogether?
People discover the meaning of life between getting piss drunk and the following hangover.
Of course, the last time I heard something like that, it was from a bartender who suggested a drink and told me "it was as close to legal opium as you could get".
So, one interesting night later, I have this advice: Stay away from Chartreuse.
...send them to my cubicle. The second I enter it, all mental and physical functions shut down for hours.
Alito: A vote for Alito is a punch in the eye to put that bitch back in her place!
New, from Zip-Loc:
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Now available in family size!
no it doesn't! It just takes 3 rings spinning at odd axes!
A trait it is about to regret <sound of skull-saw starting up>
TWW
"Encyclopedia" is to "Wikipedia" what "Library" is to "Some people at a bus stop"
Other subjects of interest include dobutamine, a drug that maintains muscle, and the Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemur, the only primate known to hibernate."
OK, so I can see how I could take DADLE and dobutamine, but how the hell am I going to inject a dose of Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemur?
Perhaps I could ask Richard Gere.
Not everybody is attached to their family and relatives, some might even appreciate a century-time shift in order to refresh their relations.
Fry, is that you?
...wait for it...
Lemur's Game
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
.. effects of hibernation.
It's the same as spending all your time on slashdot.
And the biggest effect is that it gets you out of the Finnish army.
Inside sources report the hibernation project was started right after they installed Gentoo on their machines and did an emerge world.
May contain traces of nut.
Made from the freshest electrons.
You know, the ESA doesn't have to spend a dime. All they have to do is drop someone into my job -- it keeps me slowed down, makes me want to sleep, and destroys my motivation.
blog |
the body could be [] mending cuts during the surgery
NURSE! Hand me that damn scalpel, AGAIN!
Damn damn damn damn! How the hell am I supposed to operate when I need to remake the god-damn incision every five freaking minutes!
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Hmm... Opium-like substance that puts rats out for long periods of time. Yes, let's definitely try the hibernation thing, but do we want our astronauts hopped up on 'ludes? I guess we could send Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong instead.
.. but what's the purpose of the hibernating ground squirrels in space? A muppet show revival?
Oh, wait, a galaxy populated by Madagascan fat-tailed dwarf lemurs would be bad ...
So here's the plan, grasshoppa: You find out what restaurant delivers pizza's to ESA, you get yourself a delivery job there and wait for a delivery for "I.C. Weener".
"It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful." - Anton LaVey