SF Author Robert J. Sawyer Looks at 2014
Alex writes "Canadian science fiction author Robert J Sawyer takes a positive look at a typical day in 2014 for Backbone Magazine, looking at where both scientific and sociological advances of the next decade will take us. Sawyer is a multi-Aurora, Hugo, and Nebula award winner, and was one of the first major authors to use a website to promote his work. Readers might associate some of these innovations and ideas from his fiction."
He still hasn't received his pre-orderd copy of DNF! :)
And judging by the design of it, he hasn't updated it since then.
You know what?
Stop whatever you're doing and get working on my flying car. Now. I'm not kidding.
Canadian science fiction author Robert J Sawyer takes a positive look at a typical day in 2014
For those who didn't RTFA, Sawyer predicts global hegemony under ruthless Canadian authority.
Residents of the former United States are chained to benches while being forced to eat poutine and watch curling competitions.
3D Printing Tips and Tricks at Zheng3.com
Sawyer predicts global hegemony under ruthless Canadian authority.
That's right! And here in Canada, "ruthless" means we won't even say "please!"
Accountability on the heads of the powerful.
Power in the hands of the accountable.
(if you haven't read the article, this won't make much sense or be too funny. If you have read the article it will make more sense, but still won't be that funny.)
Our mornings will still begin with waking up. But instead of the old-fashioned alarm clock buzzer it starts with the electrowhips of the alien overseers.
Today, your coffee can be brewed while you sleep; in 2014 coffee will only be a distant memory, as you quickly down some brackish water with your daily gruel allotment. No newspaper, but you can learn the latest gossip, such as who didn't survive the night, in hushed tones with your barrackmates.
Of course, you aren't the only one who has to get up. Your spouse and kids will have to labor in the mines as well.
So it's a one hour forced march to the work camps, where you're given your pick and sent underground. No need to quiz your children on facts as you march along; education is pointless when your day revolves around brutal forced labor, interrupted in the end only by a merciful death.
Throughout the day, your wristband--a combination manacle, stungun, and one-way communications device--will be your lifeline to your alien overlords, who will periodically issue orders through it and shock you when you don't obey fast enough.
>>Your spouse and kids will be taken care of, too -- with smart toilets analyzing their urine...
Here's my prediction...
A chap had a very painful elbow. He went to see his own doctor, who told him to rest it: no treatment was required, it was just tennis elbow.
Rather dissatisfied, he decided to go to a new computer-based medical service that had just opened up. He went inside the building and found the terminal, but there were no people in sight. The instructions told him to slide his credit card through the slot, and that $150 would be debited. When he had done this, he was asked screen after screen of questions about himself, until eventually a specimen bottle appeared. The instructions on the screen said, "Produce urine specimen and pour into slot on left," so he did. A few seconds later, the screen read:
Diagnosis: Tennis elbow
Treatment: Rest
Well, he wasn't happy. $150 wasted just to be told the same thing again. He thinks, "I'm going to confuse the hell out of that smug machine." He went home, took a bottle and put a scooped-up turd from his dog, some of his daughter's and wife's urine, some crankcase oil from his car and some of his own semen into the bottle and mixed it thoroughly. Then he went back to the computer.
He waved his card through the slot, answered the questions again and poured his mixture through the slot when asked. There was a very long pause.
About half an hour later, the screen read:
Diagnosis:
1. Your dog has rabies
2. Your daughter is on heroin
3. Your wife is pregnant, and your not the father
4. Your car is going to throw a rod
5. If you don't stop wanking, your tennis elbow will never get better.
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A Smart Washcloth looks at 2015: "NO, dear GOD NO, what the FUCK did I do to deserve this miserable existence? PLEASE, for the love of the BIG COTTON BALL IN THE SKY, please KILL ME NOW!"
the quick demise of the Atkins diet
Actually, based on the amount of fat those people eat and the lack of fiber, combined with the way Dr. Atkins died, I think it's safer to say we'll see the demise of Atkins dieters...
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing -- Emo Phillips
Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
My kitchen of tomorrow better have me a high-carb (and high fat) bacon eggs and toast going in the morning or i'm RMA'ing the damn thing
=D
If you can't see the value in jet powered ants you should turn in your nerd card. - Dunbal (464142)
That's as far as I needed to read. Apparently in 2014 people will still mis-state common axioms (Moore's law), mis-quote famous sayings (come up and see me sometime, play it again Sam, etc), mis-pronounce common words (nuclear), and generally mis-use language (irregardless).
Of course, all this misses the point. What we really want to know is, in 2014, does Han shoot first?
If you have a computer that can read lips, you won't be able to hide the fact that you are going to shut it down and it will kill your entire crew before you get to jupiter.
Technoli
Actually this guy is a /. reader and the alarm clock idea is the new in Soviet Russia joke. In 2014, you tell the alarm when to wake up!
Maximum Leader Ashcroft announced that today's terrorism alert level is reddish-orange. Travel across state lines is prohibited.
Two tourists were accidently shot dead today near the White House when they pointed a camera at the limo of the Secretary for State Security.
The disposable bodysuits required for air travel will be available in new colors this fall. Toothpaste has been removed from the permitted carry-on items list due to a potential terrorist threat.
Gasoline isn't rationed, but it costs $21/gallon. It's tax deductable as a business expense.
The E-mail "security fee" is being raised from $0.50 to $0.75 per message, to cover the increased costs of reading and censorship by Homeland Security. Spam is down to 0.001% of all E-mail.
Homeland Security announced today that 96.3% of road intersections in the US were equipped with surveillance cameras, and that 100% coverage would be achieved within two years.
Information about behavior patterns as obtained from cell phone locators and surveillance cameras will now be made available to college admissions officers, employers, insurance companies, and military recruiters.
Cleanup of the wreckage of Seoul, after the nuclear war between North and South Korea, has been halted again due to higher than expected radioactivity.
Yesterday, Israel sent robot bulldozers into the Jenin refugee camp to crush the homes of "terrorist sympathizers".
China announced that their moon base personnel would have to serve longer tours due to budget cuts.
Any 2014 alarm clock that woke me up four hours early for work would quickly feel the wrath of my 2014 Death Ray.