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The Last Starfighter--The Musical!

nomadic writes "Yes, seriously. Some people have decided to remake everyone's favorite obscure 1980's Star Wars ripoff into musical form. Definitely sounds like a Troy McClure role..."

12 of 345 comments (clear)

  1. Troy! by mfh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as "Earwigs, Ew." and "Man Vs Nature... The Road To Victory".

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other medical films as "Mommy, What's On That Man's Face?" and "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore".

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin", and "Get Confident, Stupid.".

    Welcome to the Knowledgeum, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?" While you're enjoying our Hall of Wonders, your car unfortunately will be subject to repeated break-ins and... [Fades]

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".

    I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory". Today I'm here to tell you about "Spiffy.", the 21st century stain remover. Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.


    etc...

    --
    The dangers of knowledge trigger emotional distress in human beings.
    1. Re:Troy! by Epistax · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was thinking of..

      Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape. Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
      Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!
      Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
      He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
      Troy: And I can siiiiiiiiiiing!

      Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius! Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      O, Dr. Zaius!
      Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Troy: What's wrong with me?
      Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.
      Troy: I want a second opinion.
      Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy.

      Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      O, Dr. Zaius!
      Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

      Troy: Can I play the piano any more?
      Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
      Troy: Well I couldn't before.
      (plays piano)

      Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!


      Troy: I hate every ape I see,
      From chimpan-A to chimpanzee,
      No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!

      (Statue of Liberty rises)

      O my God! I was wrong!
      It was Earth, all along!
      You've finally made a monkey,
      Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey,
      Troy: Yes you've
      & Apes: finally made a monkey out of me!

      Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius

    2. Re:Troy! by FuzzyBad-Mofo · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ooh, I love legitimate theater!

  2. I think I'll pass, or... by Weaselmancer · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...just have my beta unit go watch it, and tell me about it later.

    --
    Weaselmancer
    rediculous.
  3. ...Wow... by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought the Simpsons episode that had the Musical Planet of the Apes was just hyperbolic satire.

    I guess I was wrong...

  4. On learning of the musical... by PDHoss · · Score: 5, Funny


    Storm theatre serious artist #1: Damage report!

    Storm theatre serious artist #2: Our credibility is shot! Our theatre is a laughing stock! What do we do now?

    [dramatic pause]

    Storm theatre serious artist #1: We die.

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    ======================================
    Writers get in shape by pumping irony.
  5. To Paraphrase The Movie by BRock97 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Me: "Oh no, we can't get tickets! What do we do?"

    ***Eye piece swings over friend's eye***

    My Friend: "We die."

    --

    Bryan R.
    The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, or $12.50 as seen on eBay.....
  6. Last Starfighter Star Wars by humankind · · Score: 4, Funny

    At least they didn't beat the Last Starfighter into a bloody, over-merchandized pulp with ever-increasingly mediocre sequels. As a result, the Last Starfighter is singularly better than all the Star Wars movies combined.

  7. Re:Ripoff by kgbspy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Centauri shoots first.

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  8. Re:Ripoff? by orthogonal · · Score: 5, Funny
    I liked that movie!

    Me too.

    It was a decent movie, but what really brings back the memories is that...

    ...I got my first kiss ever after watching a replay of it...

    ...at a science fiction convention...

    ...while dressed as a "medieval" priest...

    ...from a girl I'd met the day before by going up to her and "blessing" her.

    Yes, I am an unrepentant geek.

    That was, what, some nineteen years ago.
    And as an unrepentant geek, I hope one day to get my second kiss. ;)


    In all seriousness though, Sandi Lynn E., here's to you, wherever you are after all these years.

  9. Evil Dead: The Musical by Griim · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought I would take this moment to mention a play that was here in Toronto last year called Evil Dead: The Musical.

    I am not one for musicals. But this was godamn funny. With such musical numbers as What The Fuck Was That? and (All Of The Men In My Life Keep Getting Killed By) Candarian Demons, you really can't go wrong.

    I hope to see it again.

  10. Re:"Definitely sounds like a Troy Mclure role" by 10Ghz · · Score: 4, Funny
    Although Wil Wheaton's scenes were cut, but his name still appears in the end credits.


    His part was cut?!?!??! I saw his name in the end-credits, and I watch the movie several tiems trying to find him! And now, years later, I find out that his part was in fact cut!

    And all these years I thought I was blind and/or idiot for not finding him! Damn you all! Damn you to hell!
    --
    Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.