Slashdot Mirror
Not Life After Death -- Email After Death
Rick Zeman writes "Wanna send that one last email after you're dead and gone? CNN has an article about a service that will give the 21st century equivalent to a old-fashioned note in a drawer except that this could be more targeted '...by offering people the chance to write one last e-mail, complete with video clip or photo attachments, and send it to loved ones, friends or even enemies after the person who wrote it is dead.'"
Aaarrrrghhh....!!!!
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This will last about a week until people start using it against each other and for jokes...
So how do we prosecute these dead guys?
But how could you get first post after death?
THAT would be worth getting your offspring into debt for.
Waiting for an amusing sig.
Dear Friend;
It is quite disconcerting to contact you in such a manor however I bring terrible and rewarding news. If you are reading this email than I have in-fact died. I am Mr.Michael Shaw, the son of the former Liberia finance minister (Mr. Emmanuel Shaw) under the past government of Charles Taylor. In my will you have been left a large portion of my property and cash holdings. This totals the sum of 10,000,000 US dollars which is rightfully yours. You are receiving this email because you are the direct descendant of me. This email was sent with advanced software that was able to inform you after my death. Please forward of your back account numbers with routing numbers to me accountant Sir Richard Webber to begin the transfer of funds.
Regards, Mr. Michael Shaw
I can think of a few people I will be glad to recieve this e-mail from.
Last Post! Buwahahahaha!
You got it all wrong this story is back from the grave...
well, if you arrange your own death to happen quite soon.
...ooor if they have service for that.
...wouldn't recommend signing up for the lifetime subscription though.
world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
I don't know about your gmail account, but I'm pretty sure you'll find that all of the articles are dupes.
It wouldn't be as bad as your cryogenic company going belly-up. It would really suck to be defrosted in 2999 only to find you're half-melted refrozen... and dead.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
Dear Boss,
Now that I am dead, I can say anything I want without getting fired.
You are a horses ass. No, wait. You are a bleeding hemmoroid of a horses ass. You steal everybody's ideas, you read stupid magazines and then follow every management fad known to man. You don't listen to my warnings and then blame me when the warning comes true.
You hold meetings just so you can be the head cheese, but you say nothing and know nothing of importance.
Further, your kids are ugly and stupid, just like their father. And, a similar email has just told your wife about that affair you had with Lisa.
See ya in hell, Mike the Corpse.
Table-ized A.I.
... we guarantee you won't regret it!
I told you the vogons were coming!
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I can assure you I'm not a bot. :)
US businesses that currently accept chip and PIN/signature
...the email I got from "BSD" this afternoon...
King Arthur : Look if he was dying he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaaauuuggghhh' on the rock he would of just said it.
Galahad : Maybe he was dictating?
King Arthur : Oh Shut up.
King Arthur : Well does it say anything else?
Brother Maynard : No, just 'Aaaaauuuugggghhh'
[knights making groaning sounds]
Sir Bedevere : Do you think he could have mean, 'Camaaaauuuuggghhhh'?
Galahad : Where's that?
Sir Bedevere : France I think.
Sir Lancelot : Isn't there a Saint 'Iiiiivvvveeeesss' in Condor?
King Arthur : No that's Saint 'Ives'
Sir Bedevere : Whooooouuuuaaa!
Sir Lancelot : No it's 'Aaaaauuuugggghhhh' from the back of the throat.
Sir Bedevere : No I mean, 'Whoooouuuuaaa!' as in surprise and alarm.
Sir Lancelot : Oh you mean like, 'Auuuuhhhhh!'
Sir Bedevere : Yes that's it. Auuuuuhhhhhaaa!
Sir Lancelot : Auuuuhhhhhaaa!
Brother Maynard : It's the legendary black beast of Aaaaauuuugghhhh!
King Arthur : Run Away! RUN AWAY!
Sir Lancelot : RUN AWAY!
How long have you been not a bot. :)?
-
- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Are you sure you don't want to not run the test or are you not sure?
Recycle PCs and build a wireless community network www.hillsborough.org.nz
I *knew* it was a dupe. I just thought the original subitter had died...
... if it had been sent to the submission desk USING the service in question.
Someone had to do it.
An email about your husband who died in plane crash will advertise plane tickets.
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down
the following day. The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mailaddress, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to
glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her
e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the
first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
----- End forwarded message -----
Because then they wouldn't get free advertising on Slashdot. Duh.
Why don't we make a company that text messages the family's cell phones with a URL, which has a form that they have to fill out, which sends them an email with the location of the hand-written note that tells them to refer to the amendment to the will stored in the lawyer's filing cabinet that tells the family members they're not getting any money because they're all too fucking stupid to deserve any?
This service will be popular with the ring tone and Claria/Gator crowd, which means they'll make millions. Eventually, they'll find a way to set up kiosks at Walmart so people can retrieve their loved ones' final words and have them printed on the base of a battery-powered fiber optic color-changing angel with big teardrop eyes and fake feathers glued to the wings.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. -- Gandhi
Who is going to guarantee that the company in question won't go belly-up before you do?
Don't worry - if they die before you do, you'll get an e-mail.
I'll be sure that they get A/C here before you arrive!
http://chrono.posterous.com/
Mine would have a really nasty virus attached to it and a note that says, "Now you can fix your own damned computer!"
Anybody interested in a related service to provide First Posts(tm) from beyond the grave?
While I agree with others that leaving an actual letter with a lawyer is more practical for saying goodbyes to loved ones....this could be a lot of fun. I think we all have people in our lives whom we email occasionally but rather dislike. Bosses, coworkers, exes who keep sending us chain letters. Foreknowledge of creepy, post death, emails could provide a lot of amusement as death approaches. I know I've had coworkers I'd love to have receive an occasional email of "I saw what you did Thursday. I see everything now. Woooooooooooo.". And on TLPD, one could even have a slight variation "Yar, I'll eat yer soul for that day you didn't refill the coffee pot!".
Everything will be taken away from you.
Hope this karma thing works!
With as slow as my corporate network is, any message I send might show up after I'm gone....
Dear XXXX,
If you are reading this, it is because I am dead. And in a very short while, you will be too... I have arranged for my estate to be liquidated and the proceeds given to someone eminently qualified to kill you. You will know fear, and you will know pain and then you will die.
By the time you read this, i am dead. My friends and family really need the cash, so i am sending you this last letter because i really think you could use some viagra or get yourself out of debt.
If you want to remove yourself from this mailing list, you are shit out of luck because you cannot.
But i promise you, this is DEFINITLY a one time mailing and you wont hear from me again.
For that matter, just send it snail mail now. It'll probably arrive after you're dead anyway.
"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." -- GBS
We're getting some 200 hits a day, of which an average of two become clients," Iriarte told The Associated Press in a telephone interview from the company's office in Brazil.
Wohoo. I bet their server will die before me.
to a lifetime membership that allows for unlimited e-mails
For a service that is for after you die, what use is a lifetime subscription! hahahah no I get it, really I do...
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