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User: Boyceterous

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Comments · 64

  1. My patent on IBM Wants To Patent Restaurant Waits · · Score: 4, Funny

    A system whereby a user shall be charged a fee based on the actual volume of excrement deposited into a dedicated porcelain facility. The system shall be called "Pay As You Go"

  2. Makes me think on Ashes of Doohan Sent Into Space · · Score: 4, Funny

    of what I would want done with my ashes. Doohan had a lover for outer space. I want my ashes shot into a woman. If there was any DNA left, I guess they could name the kid "Ashley"

  3. If ever there was a case on New Software Stops Mars Rover Confusion · · Score: 1

    for (appropriately-named) OnStar, this is it! "Hey, there's a huge rock in front of me, how do I get out?"

  4. Re:Not good..... on Drugs Eradicate the Need For Sleep · · Score: 1

    Does she spend a lot of time on the Genesis planet?

  5. Re:Faintly heard by SETI on Huge Star Quake Rocks Milky Way · · Score: 4, Funny

    3. Cut the RED wire. 4. But first, cut the BLUE wire.

  6. Faintly heard by SETI on Huge Star Quake Rocks Milky Way · · Score: 4, Funny

    just before the explosion:
    "Damn you, you bloody baboon!"

  7. Re: on The Cure for Cancer Might be: HIV · · Score: 1

    The good news is you have cancer, and we can cure it.
    The bad new is you're going to get a rather painful series of injections from Sid here...

  8. Finally! on Green Security Clearance Laser Pistol Available · · Score: 1

    The bug-zapper I've been waiting for! Can wait to spay some ladybugs!

  9. Re:Time travel on Frame Dragging by Earth Reconfirmed · · Score: 1

    Time travel is *never* behind!

  10. Re : Dupe on Not Life After Death -- Email After Death · · Score: 4, Funny

    I *knew* it was a dupe. I just thought the original subitter had died...

  11. Keep you heads on... on Mushroom Cloud Reported Over North Korea · · Score: 3, Insightful

    If it was an above-ground nuclear detonation, there will be plenty of fallout to analyze. North Korea is not a big enough country to contain all the radioactive particulate matter that would be generated by such a blast.
    In addition, there may also be seismic confirmation. I'm not sure if it extends to above ground fission detonations, but I'm pretty sure most earthquake activity monitors in the US used to detect the underground tests done in the USSR.
    Finaly, to those of you who are ok with them having nuclear weapons capability, keep in mind that at least from the perspective of the US, they have supplied many of this country's enemies with enhanced weapons capabilities. To passively allow those who would willingly use these things to acquire them is to invite your own destruction.
    Just because we have them does not mean everyone should. It means that we(the world) should strive to conduct ourselves in such a way that no one needs/wants them. There are better things to do!

  12. Re:DNA Over Signal on SETI Finds Interesting Signal · · Score: 1

    They were going to, but M$ patented the codec...

  13. I hereby patent on Microsoft Patents sudo · · Score: 1

    the time machine. There can be no prior art
    (because I'll go back and remove it). This notice is effective immediately,
    also to include the dawn of creation through the end of time.

  14. So... on Fed-Up Hospitals Defy Windows Patching Rules · · Score: 0

    where do you want to die today?

  15. Obligatory on Just Add, Umm, Water · · Score: 4, Funny

    Urine the army now!

  16. A question for evolutionists on Macaque Monkey Goes Totally Bipedal · · Score: 1

    Without knowing too much about evolution theory, it would seem to me that intelligence would always be a selective factor in all species.
    If that is so, then why aren't we mostly geniuses, (from the perspective of percent use of our brain capacities) and comparatively why aren't other species more intelligent?
    It does not seem that the current run of oppossum could ever have been be much more stupid than they are already :)

  17. Borg Numbering on Java 1.5.0 Now Officially Java 5.0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    They should have called it
    Seven of Nine
    and introduced a couple of bulging container classes.

  18. Garibaldi on B5 said it best on Babylon 5 Creator Pitches Trek · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Why do we mark history by wars?
    Because it's exciting and it drives people.
    If you think back to the best and most memorable episodes of ST, TNG, DS9, or B5 they nearly all involved major conflict, or wars, and (potentially) loss of life. Those shows (and it works in real life, too) were able to bring out the most intense aspects of the characters simultaneously with the coolest gadgets, best ships and special effects.

    The reason why TNG seemed so lame was because they were trying to be "nice" and hardly ever used their phasers - until the borg showed up - some of the most memorable episodes.

  19. Largest Prime on Java Faster Than C++? · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    ever discovered with Java: 1 (still waiting on that next one, I guess it's garbage-collecting) Can we build a grid-based garbage collector?

  20. Does anyone feel on Big Bang of Convergence · · Score: 1

    an assimilation coming on?

  21. How do you test it? on What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router? · · Score: 5, Interesting

    How do they go about testing the full capacity for these? Would a customer ever know if was not quite getting full throughput?

  22. Short Circuit on Worst Explanation From Tech Support? · · Score: 1
    I used to work for a company that sold industrial process control systems - I helped design, program and test the control cabinets.
    Once a guy out on a system start-up called up and said:
    "Help! I've got a 55-amp short in the wiring!"
    After a brief pause for muted laugher, I had to ask:
    "How do you know it's a 55-amp short?"
    He answers:
    "Because that's how far the needle on the meter gets before the fuse blows!"

    Sometimes the best thing you can do for people is just outlive them.

  23. A co-worker built one on Build Your Own Jet Engine · · Score: 4, Interesting

    back in the mid 1980's. He was a mech engineer and used the company machine shop to fab the parts. He said it got up to about 200 lbs of thrust - until the turbine blades flew out the back end ( he used aluminum instead of titanium) - luckily he only got slightly injured.

  24. Wait for version 2.0 on A Running Shoe For Agent 86? · · Score: 1

    I'm sure the first release will have iss-shoes. Ouch.

  25. Move the road, not the cars on How Will We Get Around Near-Future Earth? · · Score: 1

    It would be nice to develop a moving roadway transport that carried the vehicles, instead of powering each individual car. Eliminate traffic jams, collisions, speeding, getting cut-off and no confusion about which side of the road to use no matter what country you're in!