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Review: Juvenile Felis Catus
MBCook writes "Looking for something new? Well Dan's Data has a review of something called a "Juvenile Felis Catus" (or "kitten" for short). The review goes over everything from how to aquire one, to required maintence, to storage, to a comparison against other ways of spending your money (kitten vs. puppy vs. baby vs. new video card). The article is full of useful and informative links such as your average kitten's standard configuration. A well reasoned and interesting review."
-- Data
(sorry, it was the first thing that came into my mind when I saw a review of "felis catus" on a page called "Dan's Data")
I had but a simple dream, to destroy all humans.
No contest, I can always trade in the video card
An alternative to carrying the cat in a bag: LAN Gear for kittens ;)
Do you find that cats seem magnetically attracted to open computer cases? Its only a hypothesis of mine.
meh
Jed - Ran away. Came back miraculously a few months later, but could not be domesticated.
Pico - Healthy cat, raised from a kitten, found dead inexplicably one day in the backyard.
Lynx (OK, not a text editor) - Great cat, lots of fun, worked for years, then disappeared, presumably coyote food.
Emacs - The only cat I still use now. Extremely independent and reliable, can be trained to strange behavoir, but only if he wants to be trained.
Name your pets wisely!
"'Yrch!' said Legolas, falling into his own tongue."
Cat technology hasn't really changed a lot in the last year.
Yea seriously.. what IS next? A section for jokes or something?
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"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-- George Orwell
I fear looking at the link just in case there is something about the notorious kitten modding community I keep hearing about. If you mod your kitten, don't you violate the warranty?
'
These are breasts; this is source code.
Why do you have a problem with those two things belonging to one person?
Ha ha! I have both, and to prove it, I can show you a cooling fan and a patch of white cat fur with an odd grill shape on it.
after reading the summary:
Hello? Tech support? Yeah, I've got one of your "Felis Catus", juvenile models... it seems to be expelling large amounts of hair-like spheres... yes, it does go into self-cleaning mode rather often... yes, it has been eating solid foods, rather than moist... yes, it's been drinking water, rather than milk... oh. Reboot? I'll try... *kick*MEOW!*
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living."
- Seneca
KITTEN IS NOT RACK-MOUNTABLE
Just a word of advice from someone who's "been there".
Your cat unit is just diffing the enviroment, it is a standard feature and does not rely on magnetic attraction.
Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
The standard jokes apply here, but not well.
Can you run linux on it?
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these...
In Soviet Russia, cat posts year-old review of you.
What this needs is a new meme.
Can you start a new Man-Kzin War with one???
(Can also apply to pretty much any space technology or any technology that could be adapted to weaponry with difficulty. Especially applies to any laser-based communications system.)
It should be further noted that I forgot to include a subject and got the "Cat got your tongue" error message. Heh.
Cats are bigger geeks than most human geeks: they like the same heat generating hardware AND bite off the heads of live chickens.
Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
It is either that or put the article under the "Food" section.
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
"Kittens give Morbo gas."
I have a 19 year old Felis Catus and good God! That cat can lay a turd which would put a great Dane to shame! And the stench will drive you outta the house! Course he only does that when hes done vomiting over everything in the house!
AHHHHHHHH!
No need for unreliable amatuer modding, when you can but them pre-modded from these guys.
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
1. In toilet, combine one cat, one tablespoon pet shampoo.
2. Close lid. Sit down.
3. Flush.
4. Field calls from curious/concerned neighbors.
5. ????
6. Profit!
Keyboard error... Press F1 to resume.
I don't think you are supposed to aim the pointer at the cat. Aim it at the wall. The cat will chase the light on the wall. Then move it around rapidly and see how many objects you can get the cat to run into. Works better with particularly stupid dogs.
He forgot to cover overclocking with catnip :-)
Dog (Doberman) and cat did had existing interoperability issues. Dog has impressive firewall capabilities. Baby 1.0 comes along, hogs processes and causes Wife 1.0 to segfault and core dump at regular intervals. This caused cat to receive little processor time and eventually cat was mv'd to another directory. Rumor has it that Dog and firearm-type firewalls are incompatible with later versions of Child 1.0. Hopefully this will not cause Wife 1.0 to uninstall...
and in soviet russia our kittens own us.
No, I'm pretty sure that applies everywhere else as well...
Sam: "That was needlessly cryptic."
Max: "I'd be peeing my pants if I wore any!"
"Cat technology hasn't really changed a lot in the last year."
Tomorrow's review of women will correct the imbalance.
What's strange, is the cats outcomes has been reflective of the state of their namesakes.
My cat's name is Qusay.
From the moment I named her, she started running my household like a brutal dictatorship.
It's uncanny.
Perhaps, but then they won't run the risk of running into dimensional transmogrifiers*.
* Some people call them cars, I call them dimensional transmogrifiers, because they turn 3-dimension cats into 2 dimension cats.--- F. Frederick Skitty
nevermind the purebreds, I prefer the crossover ones!
Having kittens that like to walk on keyboards is the only sane argument I've ever known in the vi vs emacs wars...
Take care young ladies and value your wine
Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime
Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs
And swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Bitter dregs
Well, guess what, if someone had modded a computer case to cook brownies in then that would be pretty fucking cool.
I know, I know, don't feed the trolls.
Blargh. I just realized that, at the moment, we're 3 cats crazy, and we've been 4-5 cats crazy at times - not counting litters! Mix in two rufflebutts, two mini dauchsunds, a praying mantis, 3-4 stray cats that come around when it suits them, coyotes, deer, owls and (thanks to the cats) a regular flow of dead chipmunks, moles and birds... sheesh. Life on the farm, I guess. Best thing is I'm only 30 minutes outside of Pittsburgh :-)
"Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgement." Job 32:9
Strangely enough both of my cats avoid my open computer cases and they both wear magnets. I installed a cat door that requires a magnet to be worn on the cat's collar for it to permit entry. The magnet works great for other things as well. My cats always seem to find those little springs and screws I lose in the carpet. Also, my cats seem to have found a never ending supply of bent nails. I have no idea where they pick them up from.
The magnets have worked well to keep out the other neighborhood cats and a couple of raccoons who tried to chase my cat inside.
It can also be comical to watch how the cat reacts when the magnet comes into contact with a magnetic object. I quickly learned to remove spoons from bowls before offering to let my cats pre-rinse them.
Note that Cat 1.0 is not always compatible with Cat 2.0. Often random behavior will occur. Entertainment factor = # of cats squared.
This post is encrypted twice with ROT-13. Documenting or attempting to crack this encryption is illegal.
I can't resist, I just love this picture so much.
We have two cats, Felix and Oscar. Yes, they live up to their names perfectly.
"What's strange, is the cats outcomes has been reflective of the state of their namesakes." ..."Name your pets wisely!"
I've named mine "fanbelt". Should I be worried?
1) Power management via catnip. Use just a little of the stuff, and you will bring your kitten into a low power suspend mode. Heat dissipation won't change much, though.
2) Compatibility. Kittens are initially incompatible with additional kittens, resulting in cowering, hissing, and the occasional scratch. This will normally go away, and lead to mutual cooperation, with two kittens working together being far more destructive than two kittens working individually.
Raptor
"Procrastination is great. It gives me a lot more time to do things that I'm never going to do."
Keeping one locked up it's entire life is no different than doing a bonsai kitty.
Well there is more effort ito making a bonsai kitten. I have no idea where I can get small acrylic boxes.
And I'm ashamed that you wouldn't even give a link to the site.
on a serious note, I think your full of crap. I've had many cats throughout my life and every time I give in and let them "have the chance to explore" it's been run over by a car.
Now I have 3 cats, all indoor, 2 kittens even. I have to say, these are the happiest animals I have ever seen.
not to sound shallow, but I hope you get splinters from that tree your hugging.
THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!!!! eventually.