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Review: Juvenile Felis Catus
MBCook writes "Looking for something new? Well Dan's Data has a review of something called a "Juvenile Felis Catus" (or "kitten" for short). The review goes over everything from how to aquire one, to required maintence, to storage, to a comparison against other ways of spending your money (kitten vs. puppy vs. baby vs. new video card). The article is full of useful and informative links such as your average kitten's standard configuration. A well reasoned and interesting review."
-- Data
(sorry, it was the first thing that came into my mind when I saw a review of "felis catus" on a page called "Dan's Data")
I had but a simple dream, to destroy all humans.
No contest, I can always trade in the video card
This review is well over a year old.
Do you find that cats seem magnetically attracted to open computer cases? Its only a hypothesis of mine.
meh
Jed - Ran away. Came back miraculously a few months later, but could not be domesticated.
Pico - Healthy cat, raised from a kitten, found dead inexplicably one day in the backyard.
Lynx (OK, not a text editor) - Great cat, lots of fun, worked for years, then disappeared, presumably coyote food.
Emacs - The only cat I still use now. Extremely independent and reliable, can be trained to strange behavoir, but only if he wants to be trained.
Name your pets wisely!
"'Yrch!' said Legolas, falling into his own tongue."
Yea seriously.. what IS next? A section for jokes or something?
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"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-- George Orwell
I fear looking at the link just in case there is something about the notorious kitten modding community I keep hearing about. If you mod your kitten, don't you violate the warranty?
'
These are breasts; this is source code.
Why do you have a problem with those two things belonging to one person?
Ha ha! I have both, and to prove it, I can show you a cooling fan and a patch of white cat fur with an odd grill shape on it.
after reading the summary:
Hello? Tech support? Yeah, I've got one of your "Felis Catus", juvenile models... it seems to be expelling large amounts of hair-like spheres... yes, it does go into self-cleaning mode rather often... yes, it has been eating solid foods, rather than moist... yes, it's been drinking water, rather than milk... oh. Reboot? I'll try... *kick*MEOW!*
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living."
- Seneca
KITTEN IS NOT RACK-MOUNTABLE
Just a word of advice from someone who's "been there".
The standard jokes apply here, but not well.
Can you run linux on it?
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these...
In Soviet Russia, cat posts year-old review of you.
What this needs is a new meme.
Can you start a new Man-Kzin War with one???
(Can also apply to pretty much any space technology or any technology that could be adapted to weaponry with difficulty. Especially applies to any laser-based communications system.)
It should be further noted that I forgot to include a subject and got the "Cat got your tongue" error message. Heh.
Cats are bigger geeks than most human geeks: they like the same heat generating hardware AND bite off the heads of live chickens.
Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
It is either that or put the article under the "Food" section.
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
Did you know that only about 1% of the housecats in the world are pure breed?
Did you know that the entire concept of a "purebred" counts as total BS, a fictional concept designed to allow a small number of people to profit from an activity this particular species engages in prolifically (and loudly)?
Not to mention that a "mixed" breed will usually have fewer health problems (some defensive cat-slaver will no doubt chime in to dispute that - True, under optimal conditions, you can breed genetic disease out of a line. It simply does not happen in practice, as the largest motivation to breed involves profit, which you don't maximize by "rendering nonviable" two out of every three newborns).
1. In toilet, combine one cat, one tablespoon pet shampoo.
2. Close lid. Sit down.
3. Flush.
4. Field calls from curious/concerned neighbors.
5. ????
6. Profit!
Keyboard error... Press F1 to resume.
I don't think you are supposed to aim the pointer at the cat. Aim it at the wall. The cat will chase the light on the wall. Then move it around rapidly and see how many objects you can get the cat to run into. Works better with particularly stupid dogs.
No reputable breeder sets out to make a profit on their cats, nor are they trying to breed "disease" out - they're bred for specific physical or emotional characteristics, and judged as such.
People who breed cats for profit are looked down upon as the scum of the universe by any real cat breeder. Every single one I know puts the health and well-being of their cats above any financial concern. There are people who spend close to $5,000 per year on their catterys, just for vet visits and sheltering.
Please, do a little research on the subject before you paint all cat breeders with the same evil brush. (No, I'm not one, but my wife is, and I assure you she's not in it for the money.)
I use Macs for work, Linux for education, and Windows for cardplaying.
If you can't be bothered to let your cat LIVE instead of turning it into a life accessory/interactive toy, please do not get one.
In order for a cat to be happy and whole, it MUST hunt, it must have a chance to explore. It's cat nature.
Keeping one locked up it's entire life is no different than doing a bonsai kitty.
Oh, and PLEASE consider cutting off your fingers to the first joint before you consider de-clawing a cat; if you can't live with a clawed cat, Kill It, it's more merciful.
Why, yes, I AM a Pagan Libertarian.
Strangely enough both of my cats avoid my open computer cases and they both wear magnets. I installed a cat door that requires a magnet to be worn on the cat's collar for it to permit entry. The magnet works great for other things as well. My cats always seem to find those little springs and screws I lose in the carpet. Also, my cats seem to have found a never ending supply of bent nails. I have no idea where they pick them up from.
The magnets have worked well to keep out the other neighborhood cats and a couple of raccoons who tried to chase my cat inside.
It can also be comical to watch how the cat reacts when the magnet comes into contact with a magnetic object. I quickly learned to remove spoons from bowls before offering to let my cats pre-rinse them.
Note that Cat 1.0 is not always compatible with Cat 2.0. Often random behavior will occur. Entertainment factor = # of cats squared.
This post is encrypted twice with ROT-13. Documenting or attempting to crack this encryption is illegal.
Girls should not be allowed outside unattended to be raped by men, getting and spreading disease, unable to defend themselves against threats to their safety. Indeed, if you make sure to provide the finer things in life for them, there is no need at all for them to go outside.
Freedom and safety are in many ways a direct one-to-one tradeoff for each other. Both are desirable, neither is the correct choice. Such are the difficult decisions in life.
I suppose this wouldn't appeal if you're the sort of person who intends to force their children to become doctors when they want to be musicians, but personally, I believe in letting them choose their own fate. There is no proof a cat is actually smart enough to make this decision, but I believe they are. Regardless, I have had some cats who show no interest at all for going outside, and others who trod outside happily during the coldest, darkest, most miserable blizzards. Every cat is different just like every person is different.
I agree that a cat must have a chance to explore. It is just fine exploring under your bed, in a paper bag just brought in, etc. And the hunting instinct can be more than compensated for by play and attention. Cats that are never allowed to roam free outside never really have much of a desire to.
The fact is that cats that allowed to roam free have an average life expectancy of 3 years as opposed to 15-18 years for indoor only cats. House cats are domesticated animals. Many of the traits which help them survive in the wild have been bred out over thousands of years. Even wild cats which still have all of their instincts have no way of dealing with traffic, the number of poisons that are easiily found in the city and the cruelty that can be inflicted on them by other humans.
And if you are still convinced that your cat needs to go outside, please make sure that it is spayed or neutered. Remember that in seven years one female cat and her offspring can produce 420,000 cats. Because of this shelters are forced to euthanize millions of cats anually. These are people who love animals enough to make taking care of them a career, who have to kill cats each and every day because people are unwilling to spay/neuter and keep their cats locked in the house.
However, I do agree with you 100% on declawing. It is indeed cruel, and there are ways to cope with the instinct and redirect it. And from personal experience working in shelters, a cat poses a much greater risk to people after it has been declawed, since the only weapon it has left to use when frightened is its teeth.
And as long as I am ranting on the topic of humane treatment of animals: If you are considering adopting a cat (or any other animal) please look into the amount of actual work it is and decide if you are capable of providing for the animals needs. If you do decide to bring an animal into your life, please please please consider adopting one from the local shelter or a breed specific rescue organization. Many pet stores and ads in the paper often get their animals through very cruel sources. There are too many perfect animals waiting for homes to support the cruel trade of pets as product. And paying alot for a pet through a breeder that you do not know does nothing to guarantee the health and condition of that animal.
I'll never make that mistake again, reading the experts' opinions. - Feynman