Slashdot Mirror
Review: Juvenile Felis Catus
MBCook writes "Looking for something new? Well Dan's Data has a review of something called a "Juvenile Felis Catus" (or "kitten" for short). The review goes over everything from how to aquire one, to required maintence, to storage, to a comparison against other ways of spending your money (kitten vs. puppy vs. baby vs. new video card). The article is full of useful and informative links such as your average kitten's standard configuration. A well reasoned and interesting review."
-- Data
(sorry, it was the first thing that came into my mind when I saw a review of "felis catus" on a page called "Dan's Data")
I had but a simple dream, to destroy all humans.
What, a Pets: section now?
/. gets into Politics by adding that new section. Now this.
First
What's next, RealEstate: ???
No contest, I can always trade in the video card
An alternative to carrying the cat in a bag: LAN Gear for kittens ;)
This review is well over a year old.
Do you find that cats seem magnetically attracted to open computer cases? Its only a hypothesis of mine.
meh
Jed - Ran away. Came back miraculously a few months later, but could not be domesticated.
Pico - Healthy cat, raised from a kitten, found dead inexplicably one day in the backyard.
Lynx (OK, not a text editor) - Great cat, lots of fun, worked for years, then disappeared, presumably coyote food.
Emacs - The only cat I still use now. Extremely independent and reliable, can be trained to strange behavoir, but only if he wants to be trained.
Name your pets wisely!
"'Yrch!' said Legolas, falling into his own tongue."
We do all realize that this is WAY out of date? This page has been up since April 1st. 2003.
All you need to know has long been at: Bonsai Kitten!
I fear looking at the link just in case there is something about the notorious kitten modding community I keep hearing about. If you mod your kitten, don't you violate the warranty?
'
These are breasts; this is source code.
Why do you have a problem with those two things belonging to one person?
Ha ha! I have both, and to prove it, I can show you a cooling fan and a patch of white cat fur with an odd grill shape on it.
after reading the summary:
Hello? Tech support? Yeah, I've got one of your "Felis Catus", juvenile models... it seems to be expelling large amounts of hair-like spheres... yes, it does go into self-cleaning mode rather often... yes, it has been eating solid foods, rather than moist... yes, it's been drinking water, rather than milk... oh. Reboot? I'll try... *kick*MEOW!*
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living."
- Seneca
KITTEN IS NOT RACK-MOUNTABLE
Just a word of advice from someone who's "been there".
Your cat unit is just diffing the enviroment, it is a standard feature and does not rely on magnetic attraction.
Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
The standard jokes apply here, but not well.
Can you run linux on it?
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these...
In Soviet Russia, cat posts year-old review of you.
What this needs is a new meme.
Can you start a new Man-Kzin War with one???
(Can also apply to pretty much any space technology or any technology that could be adapted to weaponry with difficulty. Especially applies to any laser-based communications system.)
It should be further noted that I forgot to include a subject and got the "Cat got your tongue" error message. Heh.
Did you know that only about 1% of the housecats in the world are pure breed?
Most cats (99%) are mixtures of several breeds.
Get your Unix fortune now!
Cats are bigger geeks than most human geeks: they like the same heat generating hardware AND bite off the heads of live chickens.
Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
I don't mind slashdot posting articles on politics but it would be nice if it were more balanced....if slashdot is going to bash Kitty supporters then why don't they bash puppy supporters as well.
I should qualify this....i do appretiate slashdot's choice giving exposure to third party pets.
ok i can't go on any longer....i for one welcome out new fluffy faced overlords and in soviet russia our kittens own us.
stendec@gmail.com
Cats are not compatible with optical mice.
http://www.commaecho.com
"Kittens give Morbo gas."
I have a 19 year old Felis Catus and good God! That cat can lay a turd which would put a great Dane to shame! And the stench will drive you outta the house! Course he only does that when hes done vomiting over everything in the house!
AHHHHHHHH!
we don't cover insane cat people enough on slashdot.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
No need for unreliable amatuer modding, when you can but them pre-modded from these guys.
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
If you can't be bothered to care for a cat, don't get one, please. Cats should not be allowed outside to kill the local wildlife, get and spread disease, and be injured/killed/tortured by local dahmer-to-be's. Indoor cats live longer, healthier lives, and assuming you give them a toy or two, do not need the outdoors for entertainment/exercise.
1. In toilet, combine one cat, one tablespoon pet shampoo.
2. Close lid. Sit down.
3. Flush.
4. Field calls from curious/concerned neighbors.
5. ????
6. Profit!
Keyboard error... Press F1 to resume.
I actually just bought myself a kitten about 6 weeks ago. The place is a mess, my keyboard has even -more- fur in it (aside from my own shedding) and my mouse routinely is found hanging off the edge of my desk when I arrive in the morning (I have a home-office).
8 .j pg
:-D
This kitten was highly incompatible with the already installed old-blind-dog system. It took over a month of food and luck to get the two systems to cooperate without causing general-insanity faults with the owners.
Despite all that I could never take it back. I tried to take the cat back 24 hours after I bought it but I got about 2km down the road before everything was too blurry from the sudden onrush of water obscuring my vision.
http://pldaniels.com/photos/2004092001/mpic0000
These things are dangerously addictive
I don't think you are supposed to aim the pointer at the cat. Aim it at the wall. The cat will chase the light on the wall. Then move it around rapidly and see how many objects you can get the cat to run into. Works better with particularly stupid dogs.
He forgot to cover overclocking with catnip :-)
Dog (Doberman) and cat did had existing interoperability issues. Dog has impressive firewall capabilities. Baby 1.0 comes along, hogs processes and causes Wife 1.0 to segfault and core dump at regular intervals. This caused cat to receive little processor time and eventually cat was mv'd to another directory. Rumor has it that Dog and firearm-type firewalls are incompatible with later versions of Child 1.0. Hopefully this will not cause Wife 1.0 to uninstall...
"Cat technology hasn't really changed a lot in the last year."
Tomorrow's review of women will correct the imbalance.
What's strange, is the cats outcomes has been reflective of the state of their namesakes.
My cat's name is Qusay.
From the moment I named her, she started running my household like a brutal dictatorship.
It's uncanny.
While I found the "Felis Catus" section on Dan's Data very entertaining, this hardly qualifies as *NEWS.* Heck, it was *exactly* a year ago when I read that page.
Having kittens that like to walk on keyboards is the only sane argument I've ever known in the vi vs emacs wars...
Well, guess what, if someone had modded a computer case to cook brownies in then that would be pretty fucking cool.
I know, I know, don't feed the trolls.
Blargh. I just realized that, at the moment, we're 3 cats crazy, and we've been 4-5 cats crazy at times - not counting litters! Mix in two rufflebutts, two mini dauchsunds, a praying mantis, 3-4 stray cats that come around when it suits them, coyotes, deer, owls and (thanks to the cats) a regular flow of dead chipmunks, moles and birds... sheesh. Life on the farm, I guess. Best thing is I'm only 30 minutes outside of Pittsburgh :-)
"Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgement." Job 32:9
Strangely enough both of my cats avoid my open computer cases and they both wear magnets. I installed a cat door that requires a magnet to be worn on the cat's collar for it to permit entry. The magnet works great for other things as well. My cats always seem to find those little springs and screws I lose in the carpet. Also, my cats seem to have found a never ending supply of bent nails. I have no idea where they pick them up from.
The magnets have worked well to keep out the other neighborhood cats and a couple of raccoons who tried to chase my cat inside.
It can also be comical to watch how the cat reacts when the magnet comes into contact with a magnetic object. I quickly learned to remove spoons from bowls before offering to let my cats pre-rinse them.
Note that Cat 1.0 is not always compatible with Cat 2.0. Often random behavior will occur. Entertainment factor = # of cats squared.
This post is encrypted twice with ROT-13. Documenting or attempting to crack this encryption is illegal.
I can't resist, I just love this picture so much.
We have two cats, Felix and Oscar. Yes, they live up to their names perfectly.
1) Power management via catnip. Use just a little of the stuff, and you will bring your kitten into a low power suspend mode. Heat dissipation won't change much, though.
2) Compatibility. Kittens are initially incompatible with additional kittens, resulting in cowering, hissing, and the occasional scratch. This will normally go away, and lead to mutual cooperation, with two kittens working together being far more destructive than two kittens working individually.
Raptor
"Procrastination is great. It gives me a lot more time to do things that I'm never going to do."
I used to have rats, which make decent pets, very smart and loyal, but many people dislike the tails and they aren't all that cuddly (though they can ride on your shoulder). Sometime after my last rat went to rodent heaven, I've gotten myself a cute little dwarf bunny. She's less independant than a cat, can be kept in a bunny case (but it's better to litter train her), and is getting used to travelling (recommend that you let her sit on your lap because they slide around the cage otherwise).
In short, bunny is more friendly than your average cat, and happily sits on one's lap during computing sessions. However, I would recommend caution in letting one near cords, as from what I've heard they tend to look like bunny-treats to a hungry rabbit.
I put a couple of unopened capsules in my cat's refillable catnip mouse and that thing now gets a lot more play than it used to. I'd suggest being careful not to let them OD though. It is technically a drug and if that's not enough, a valerian spill in your house could result in you having to move out (It smells that bad, seriously.)
As an added benefit a couple of capsules of the stuff before bed will help you get to sleep a lot more gently than Nyquil will.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?