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Star Wars TV Show
The lunatick writes "IESB and Theforce.net report a Star Wars TV show. Lucas will not direct it just produce it. Kevin Smith (Silent Bob, the clerks series) is named as a possible director."
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Is there anything that Kevin Smith has not been named as a possible director for? I'm still waiting for his Green Lantern movie.
Darth: "No Luke, I am your father!"
Luke: "You're my dad? Oh boy, and you know what the worst thing is?"
Darth: "What, my son?"
Luke: "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
Drill baby drill - on Mars
"Do you see a sign on my lawn that says 'Dead Wookie Storage'??"
You're right. If Star Trek hadn't made the mistake of making a TV Show, all the paperbacks and Souvineer LPs and stuff would have been far more successful.
"What's the frequency Kenneth?"
Sorry, can't resist, I just have to post it :)
(taken from http://www.whysanity.net/monos/clerks5.html)
Building the Death Star
written by Kevin Smith
Randal: So they build another Death Star, right?
Dante: Yeah.
Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.
Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.
Dante: And you figured it out?
Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.
Dante: Basically.
Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.
Dante: And the second time around...?
Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.
Dante: So?
Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.
(The Blue-Collar Man (Thomas Burke) joins them.)
Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
Randal: Like when?
Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
Dante: Whose house was it?
Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
Dante: Based on personal politics.
Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
Rand
What has *science* done?!? -- Dr. Weird (ATHF)
I guess that's the good part of the story
I don't read replies by ACs.
...As if the voices of a million Star Wars fans suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced...
Who is gonna change channel first? Me or Greedo?
New. Levels. Of. Yanking. That. Teet.
Oh no, please don't tell me that William Shatner is going to be in it... [runs away screaming]
Karma? Hey I just call it as I see it.
If its any different than that, it will be pure crap, nobody will watch it and it will be filed away in the history of TV Land failures, right behind Cop Rock.
-- Mace only makes me hornier.
- CSI: Coruscant
- Law & Order: Imperial Sedition Unit
- Extreme Makeover: Padawan Edition
- The Darth Vader Factor
- Survivor: Dagobah
- Who Wants To Marry A Sith Lord?
- The Apprentice
Damn. Actually I think I'd enjoy some of those."It is our blasphemy which has made us great, and will sustain us, and which the gods secretly admire in us." - Zelazny
Yeah but tell me Silent Bob wouldn't make a kick arse sith lord..