Slashdot Mirror
Telecom Outages Now a State Secret
Saeed al-Sahaf writes "In the past, before negotiating important or large telecommunications contracts, you could check out the detailed network outage reports that large telecommunications carriers file with the FCC. By knowing where carriers had experienced problems, buyers can negotiate better service contracts and know where to plan on redundant services. As recently as last summer, the FCC championed the marketplace benefits of making outage data available to the public. But after more than a decade of making such carrier outage reports available to the public, the FCC in August ruled that the information will be kept secret, lest it fall into the hands of terrorists."
Hello, information? I'd like the numbers for G. David Shine and Roy Cohn.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
"Can you hear me now? What do you mean you can't tell me that?"
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
Why negotiating lower prices on their evil global communication networks of course.
To negoatiate a better price on their terrorist network, of course.
Just you wait... soon news channels/radio will be hit for aiding and abetting terrorists by reporting traffic jams
And here's proof that life-imitates-sarcastic-slashdot-posts:
"'Yrch!' said Legolas, falling into his own tongue."
For Corporate Concerns!
If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
Hurts business. Check.
/. political thread.
Hurts discourse. Check.
Has terrorist excuse. Check.
Must be another
Lately democracy seems to be based on the skybox, the Happy Meal box, the X-box, and the idiot box.
Apparently the Terrorist were using the information to negotiate lower fees when building thier evil information infrastructure. Since terrorists should not be allowed to pay lower fees AND attack the USA, the FCC has decided to keep that information secret. Now, the terrorists will have to pay what everyone else pays.
Now if they can just ban access to that nasty election and recount data, the terrorist will really be screwed.
Yahh, hiii haaaaa! -Major Kong, from Dr. Strangelove
In a report from the newly appointed SPC (Scaring the Public Commision) it is stated that, due to the increased terrorist threat, all roadmaps are made illegal. "This way," senior spokesman G. Busk says, "we will make it harder for terrorists to find their way in our country." According to the ruling all, people in position of roadmaps should hand them in to their local government, who will arange for them to be burned. It is decided that all maps shal be burned on big bonfires in every city and town, on November 1. "This way we make it a happening. Something to lighten the mood, so to speak!" Mr. Busk exclaims. "We will encourage people to bring tables, chairs, snacks and drinks. Hot dogs will be grilled on the bonfires and sold. We belive this will be a great party!"
After this date, if you are caught in position of a roadmap, you can be sentenced to pay fines on up to $5000 or to prison in up to 2 years, depending on the size of the map.
Lets see..
Helps business. check
Hurts people. check
Has terrorist excuse. check
It must be from the Republican administration.
That kind of loose talk only aids the terrorists, Mister "Questions the Government's Motives".
We are writing you to apologize about your cat. Sadly it was involved in a terrorist plot the we are currently not at liberty to discuss and for reasons of national security we were forced to drive over it repeatedly in black unmarked, sedans. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter and hope this does not affect your vote.
Sincerly,
Dick Cheney
TEH TERRISTS R CUMMING, TEH TERRISTS R CUMMING
QUICK -- GRAB ANKLES, BEND N INSERT HED INTO ASSSSSS!!!@#@#!~!!!
Ohhhh fux0r -- it's so dark -- there must be black ops in here!!!!
This story is yet another prime example of why I am seriously considering expatrioting myself from this fear mongering society of irrational and doctrines of hysteria enfored by skittle colored terror alerts.
I had a conspiracy theory that I made as a "joke" back in the 9/11 days that the twin towers attack was "allowed" in the same way that the British allowed Nazi airstrikes because they didn't want the Nazi's to know that they could see them coming via a new tech called "radar" Only this time, instead of strategizing against an outernationalist enemy, they are strategizing against US citizens by inciting a state of controlled panic to leverage measures to restrict our liberties and nullify the constition.
You see... the constitution has loopholes that allow for secrecy of public information and "temporary" revocation of rights in the event of "war time" needs. So the obvious exploit is to start a never ending war and exploit those holes in our national charter to rootkit the entirity of the constitution.
At the time I considered it an item that would make you laugh then make you think... but as time has gone on, I'm laughing less and thinking more.
Aha! It seems the grandparent forgot about Poland!
... federal election results!
That'd make sure these pesky terrorists won't target our fearless leaders.
By knowing where carriers had experienced problems, terrorists could avoid shoddy services and choose more reliable telecommunications carriers. Those evil evil...
Haa, we'll fix that. Now, terrorists will get shoddy services like the rest of us!
And what pre tell are terrorists going to do with this information? Not pick at&t over sprint, install covad over sbc? It probably makes sense. If september eleventh teaches us nothing, it's that if a terrorist makes an informed purchase... he's already won.
This signature has Super Cow Powers
Duh ! Haven't you been listening ?
Number 1 is clearly the most dangerous threat here, terrorists have overran the US ( and the rest of the world ) and are carrying out numerous acts of terrorism on a daily basis. That's why there is this war against them.