Brain Controlled Computing a Reality

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Brain Controlled Computing a Reality

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @09:34AM from the really-hands-free dept.

pchernyakov writes "Cyberkinetics Neurotechnology Systems told attendees at the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation annual conference that a 25-year-old quadriplegic with wires run from 100 tiny sensors implanted in his brain and out to a computer can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy."

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What does Captain Pike think? by DeezyChee · 2004-10-13 09:36 · Score: 5, Funny

*blink* *blink*
1. Re:What does Captain Pike think? by Anonymous Coward · 2004-10-13 09:50 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  Uh, whatever dude. Meet me at midnight in the parking lot behind the stadium. Bring a screwdriver, pickax, some cat5, a coupla ICs and $10000 cash. I'll give you your "wetware implant".
2. Re:What does Captain Pike think? by Profane+MuthaFucka · 2004-10-13 11:41 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  No, we need to have larger neurons, and fewer of them. I bet a leech could work this thing really well.
  
  --
  Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
Hmm... by ZeroPost · 2004-10-13 09:36 · Score: 4, Funny

Sounds like it's time to break out the tinfoil hat...
1. Re:Hmm... by KitFox · 2004-10-13 10:11 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Dear ZeroPost,
  While we appreciate your interest in tinfoil hats to combat our new technology, we advise you not to try it. As indicated, this is hard-wired directly into your brain. Tinfoil hats have proven to be a problem for our mind control rays, since they are wireless, however the tinfoil has proven to be no match for a Makita to the frontal lobe.
  In closing, we recommend that you drop these silly ideas that tin or even aluminum foil will be any match for our hard-wired technology. Thank you.
  Your Future Thought Control Overlords
  
  --
  @Whee
2. Re:Hmm... by bluekanoodle · 2004-10-13 10:28 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  I for one welcome our future thought control overlords.
I, for one by unassimilatible · 2004-10-13 09:37 · Score: 3, Funny

welcome our new wired quadriplegic overlords.

--
Slashdot "libertarians": Small government for me, big government for those I disagree with. -1, I disagree with you
Porn by athakur999 · 2004-10-13 09:37 · Score: 5, Funny

So this means I can surf with NO hands on the keyboard? Think of the possibilities.

--
"People that quote themselves in their signatures bother me" - athakur999
1. Re:Porn by retro128 · 2004-10-13 09:50 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  That's the whole problem isn't it? Now I don't know if all the porn popups I'm getting are being caused by my new neural interface or spyware.
  
  --
  -R
2. Re:Porn by Anonymous Coward · 2004-10-13 10:10 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  Yeah, you can finger your ass while you masturbate. :)
Really? by SansTinfoilHat · 2004-10-13 09:38 · Score: 4, Funny

and play Pong with 70% accuracy

Damn, I can't even play Pong with 70% accuracy.
Now just hook it up to some robotics and... by retro128 · 2004-10-13 09:38 · Score: 5, Funny

Can this be much farther behind?

--
-R
Yeah but by Anonymous Coward · 2004-10-13 09:40 · Score: 1, Funny

How well does he do with Halo? I don't need any more competition.
yikes! by mrpuffypants · 2004-10-13 09:47 · Score: 4, Funny

open e-mail

His first email? INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS! PLEASURE WOMEN!

sigh. kinda makes you wish that email had never even come around...

(Jordan, if you see this...GET BACK TO WORK! =]
1. Re:yikes! by josh3736 · 2004-10-13 10:06 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  (Jordan, if you see this...GET BACK TO WORK! =]
  
  Actually, I just installed BO2K on your machine.
  Please stop wasting company time on Solitaire and Slashdot, then I'll get back to work.
  --Jordan.
Re:Fiction to reality.. by NetNifty · 2004-10-13 09:50 · Score: 5, Funny

If he is really a "terminal man", we can just telnet to him if something goes wrong.

--
Linux Wireless Hardware in the UK
And now... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-10-13 09:57 · Score: 1, Funny

Let the great Pong stadiums be built for the amusment of the masses!
70% Pong Accuracy by aardwolf64 · 2004-10-13 09:59 · Score: 4, Funny

can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy

I can do the first two easily enough, but he's got me beat on the 70% Pong rate...
Imagine.... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-10-13 09:59 · Score: 1, Funny

A beowolf cluster of human brains.
yeah by Anubis350 · 2004-10-13 10:02 · Score: 3, Funny

now I can drink coffee, get my work done, and masturbate while browsing for porn

ahhhhh, watching the karma burn

--
"goodbye and hello, as always" ~Prince Corwin, from Zelazny's Amber series
Re:Fiction to reality.. by s4m7 · 2004-10-13 10:20 · Score: 4, Funny

we can just telnet to him if something goes wrong.

root@terminalman# killall -s SIGKILL braind

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This comment is fully compliant with RFC 527.
Re:But how many degrees of freedom? by sploo22 · 2004-10-13 10:23 · Score: 3, Funny

Do we need any more than 3 degrees of freedom? How about mouse X, mouse Y, and clicking? It works fine for Mac users.

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Karma: Segmentation fault (tried to dereference a null post)
Re:How about.... by shaka999 · 2004-10-13 10:33 · Score: 5, Funny

I think we all know the dangers of hooking up robotic octopus arms without proper failsafes in place.

--
One should not theorize before one has data. -Sherlock Holmes-
Re:Computer Potatoes by unixbugs · 2004-10-13 10:35 · Score: 1, Funny

Just imagine someone hard wired to the Net 24/7

its easy, theyre called "moderators" around these parts.

--
You are about to give someone a piece of your mind, something which you can ill afford...
Pong! by MavEtJu · 2004-10-13 10:48 · Score: 3, Funny

play Pong with 70% accuracy.

Call me when he can play Doom with 99% accuracy and I will volunteer!

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bash$ :(){ :|:&};:
Everything was going great until... by Kakurenbo+Shogun · 2004-10-13 11:05 · Score: 3, Funny

He was typing along happy as a clam, with 100% accuracy for 21 characters, and then the 30% error rate popped up and out came "rm -Rf /". Oh well, no more pong.

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Convert RSS to HTML - integrate webfeeds into your website
Obligatory Gibson quote by theolein · 2004-10-13 11:13 · Score: 2, Funny

When can the rest of us adjust the trodes and jack in?
Finally... by Proptwistr · 2004-10-13 12:12 · Score: 5, Funny

As a tech support specialist, it's kinda nice to see somebody actually using their brain to operate a computer.
Because it needed to be said... by Firefly1 · 2004-10-13 16:20 · Score: 2, Funny

"Remember, you must think in Russian."

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- White Knight of the Order of Mihoshi Enthusiasts