Slashdot Mirror
Dell Infringes on Patent by Selling Overseas?
senior.wrangler writes "Looks like new evidence that the U.S. Patent Office is hiring monkeys to bulk-approve new patents. DE Technologies has been granted a patent covering international transactions handled over the computer. Here's a quote from their web site:
With patent coverage securing 80% of the world 's trading markets, DE Technologies is securing licensing arrangements with international trading participants. Kinda creepy, if you ask me."
Damn the monkeys, first Shakespeare, now this?
A method of saving money on white collar labor by conducting work in cheaper areas overseas via computer.
Wipro, I own you!
Monstar L
Monkeys dont get no respect around here!
All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be
Since the quotes from this posting were a little out of place, I first read this as follows.
Here's a quote from their web site: "With patent coverage securing 80% of the world 's trading markets, DE Technologies is securing licensing arrangements with international trading participants. Kinda creepy, if you ask me."
If even DE Technologies can publicly admit their scheme is "creepy", you know something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams
Especially when they dance.
You know, I'd patent the idea of using monkeys to come up with patent applications, but there's prior art.
So lets get this straight, I could write down some over englished definition of something vague and then as long as nobody else has been vague or the patent clerc checking the application has no common sence. I could in theory get a patent about discussing patents and charge you all commision by tea time. :D
:/.
Does prior art mean nothing in this, hell what next backdated claims to sue Columbus
Perhaps a patent about issueing patents then taking the patent office to court for infringment and see them sort out this common sence/prior art monkey-fooing.
A spammer has been using my email address as a forged return address for some time now. I knew there was trouble when this showed up in my inbox:
From: patent-approvals@uspto.gov
Subject: (auto-reply) Your patent
Your patent submitted to patent-approvals@uspto.gov for "A new medical miracle! Better than V|agr.a" has been granted. Your patent number is 54594523345. Your patent certificate will be mailed to:
OptInRealHard
Service Dept.
Box 450
Sarasota FL
Unknown host pong.
The people at that company are jumping up and down "I can't believe we got it Jack! We hit the lotto! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...let's call our lawyers, man I can't believe the patent system IS THAT BAD!" -cheers-
blah
... i just hope they strike down the 'discharging amonia waste into a porcelain structure' patent because I really really gotta go. ~BS
Home of the EULA shirt
...that he licences to the patent office. Something like:
"A method for reviewing and granting patent requests automatically via computer"
Might explain what's going on out there.
> Looks like new evidence that the U.S. Patent
> Office is hiring monkeys to bulk-approve new
> patents.
Not monkeys: very efficient clerks. It takes skill to wield a rubber stamp that fast.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
Gotta love that...
they list a basic CS 4 year degree for Computer Science patents, but under Electrical Engineer there's about a page and half of specific requirements.
Half these companies are probably sending employee's children to college under an "I want to be a patent examiner" fund to get there ideas quickly approved.
I think this is the only job in CS I've ever seen that doesn't include any prerequisite experience.
Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
Surely you mean "writing works of meaningless tripe over a network of digital computers"...
"Go to CNN [for a] spell-checked, fact-checked summary" -- CmdrTaco
the patent would be for writing literature works over a network of digital computers. THEN YOU SUE SLASHDOT!
Literature: creative writing of recognized artistic value
I think slashdot's safe.
Best. Comment. Ever. Enjoy!
Hey, if you take me to court because I breathe then I'm going to slam you with my heart beat patent.
If I were you I'd settle outside the courts.
Otherwise we'd have to agree to not infringe on our respective patents and I can hold my breath for over a minute.
The Internet is full. Go Away!!!
That's what they wanted to do, but they found out that process was already patented!
So then they attended the Darl McBride School of Business Law.
It can't be "kinda creepy." Tom Delay and Dick Cheney have a patent on that, and they WILL sue!
But Officer, I DID read the f**king article!
Exactly what is wrong with this patent? Please cite the laws and 37 CFR in your answer
Does 37 CFR cover common sense?
You monkeys approved a patent on teasing a cat with a laser pointer. I am somewhat less than interested in any 37 CFR paragraphs you can cite that will support your arguments.
Dear Feynman,
Please stop posting. Telling people that a patent's title has nothing to do with the claims, while true, quiets the uninformed weeping and gnashing of teeth we look for when posting patent topics. We would appreciate you taking your accuracy elsewhere. Thank you.
-CmdrTaco
I had a steady B+ in my AI class until I failed the Turing test...
No, only when they use a computer. Everything is different when you use a computer.
Abstract as follows: "This application is for a patent for a process for an invention cataloging, protection, and revenue system. Prospective inventors shall submit written descriptions of innovations to a central office, whereby a simian shall stamp it with an approval. The resultant invention can be defended by litigation. The inventor shall form a stock-issuing corporation of which can bring suit against any other use of such invention. Funds then can collected from many companies to the inventions shareholders."
CONFIDENTIAL PROPOSAL FOR TRANSFER OF $38,500,000.00 FROM FEDERAL BANK OF NIGERIA THROUGH NNPC ACCOUNT ....
I assume this message will not be a surprise to you.
I am LARRY OGADWU an employee of Federal Government of Nigeria owned Corporation
Can we have some sort of /. competition where everyone thinks of the most stupid and anoying idea they can patent and we all chip-in some money and get the winner patented and cause as much hassle to the worlds economy with it as we can?
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
I cant. I live in the free world (a.k.a. not USA)