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BrainPort Allows People To Reclaim Damaged Senses
Karma Star writes "There is a news article on a new device called a BrainPort, which is special device that
is worn like a helmet, with a strip of tape containing an array of 144 microelectrodes
hanging off the headset which is placed on the tongue. The BrainPort then sends signals
to the tongue which are then picked up by the brain, allowing the user to regain otherwise
lost sensory input.
More at the NY Times
(soul stealing subscription required)."
Can I use it to recover my sense of humour?
Can I wear it over my tin-foil hat?
There's a Mercedes gap too. I want one and can't afford one, but it's not government's job to do anything about it.
Back when I was in highschool, I'd put a little piece of paper on my tounge and in about an hour I'd get the sensation of flight, could "see" sound, speak to animals and the like.
Plus, I didnt have to wear a helmet when I dropped acid.
Religion is for people afraid of going to hell.
This music tastes Great!
This story tastes delicious.
Karma: -2147483648 (Mostly affected by integer overflow)
Their Product
Prior art?
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
The textual description of this... "The strip was wired to a kind of carpenter's level, which was mounted on a hard hat that she placed on her head...". for some reason, the image that unavoidably comes to mind is that of Doctor Who's classic Cybermen.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
A two-electrode version of this device exists in the form of licking 9V batteries, to give users the sense of whether 9V batteries are dead. It also works to test the main I hear...
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Well, then you'd just spend your life watching Julia Roberts movies and not worry about it...
Less filling!
But you'll still be stuck in engineering while a guy with a positronic brain gets all the action.
sigs, as if you care.
Everything either feels, tastes, or smells like chicken.
From the article:
Surgeons can feel on their tongues the tip of a probe inside a patient's body, enabling precise movements.
A whole new range of experiences for surgeons performing coloscopies, no doubt.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Fey work gweaf an I can feel ftuff I nefer fought I could!
LOAD "SIG",8,1
LOADING...
READY.
RUN
That someone is going to apply this to their nether-regions, if they haven't already.
Muslim community leaders warn of backlash from tomorrow morning's terrorist attack.
"It tastes like ... burning"
---
"I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be."
When the computer detects a threat it can stimulate the pilots tongue in relation to the direction and distance of the target.
What would it taste of?
Normal day: "Mmmmmmm beer"
Real emergency: "EWWWWW SPROUTS!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
liqbase
Something about the size of a postage stamp, put on the tounge, and it brgins back lost sensations? I think Timothy Leary was heading down this very path a few years back...
Dedicated Cthulhu Cultist since 4523 BC.
The writers from The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension should sue for stolen IP. Lizardo was using that thing 20 years ago.
>
> Fighter helmet with mouth piece that sits against the pilots tongue. When the computer detects a threat it can stimulate the pilots tongue in relation to the direction and distance of the target. After a little training this sort of thing would really increase reaction time.
>
> Though it would make a conversation with the tower a bit tough
You must taste... in Russian!
In Thoviat Rutthia, Firefoth flieth thoo?
"Thyre rearwurdth mitthile, dammit!"
[nothing happens]
"Mmmmm.... Borscht!"
[*KABOOM*, second Firefox burninated]
"Better ithe up a cold one boyth, I'th comin' home!"
Hello. My name is George W. Bush. I was reselected as your 44th "President" of the United Gulags of America.
Will BrainPort let me use Faith, Family, and Valuesto decrease the ballooning federal deficit; lower
interest rates; and strengthen the faultering U.S. dollar?
Regards,
George W. Bush
cheap labor conservatives - they want to keep you hungry enough to be thankful for minimum wage.
In recent years, science fiction has suffered a great decline in quality of content, in no small part due to the excessive commercialization of unimaginative "world of..." series.
So science has had to look to other forms of art for inspiration and development of new technologies. Scientists at Brain-Port Inc have found their new beacon of innovation in that aging rocker, Ozzy Osbourne.
During the development of the Brain-Port tonque interface, it was code-named the "Fly High Helmet" after Ozzy's song, "Fly High Again" in which he asked the question -- "Swallowing colors of the sound I hear, am I just a crazy guy?"
Brain-Port is rumoured to be working on another product which they are calling the "Hagar Helmet." Expected to be a huge boon to the auto insurance industry, the Hagar Helmet is designed to prevent the wearer from exceeding the speed limit. The exact mechanism by which it ensures that the wearer can only drive 55 is considered one of Brain-Port's most valuable trade secrets.
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
I just licked my monitor. My tongue couldn't read your post, though....
Karnal