Daring to Dream: Apple & IBM

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Posted by Hemos on Monday December 6, 2004 @05:13AM from the an-unlikely-marriage dept.

Anonymous writes "The Register has a comment piece of the marriage (speculative) between IBM and Apple. Although wildly speculative, it is not improbable. With IBM already supplying PowerPCs to Apple and Apple having not signed up to IBM's PowerPC consortia, there are hints in this get-together. Apple would also supply IBM with the "lifestyle" side of things. If it does happen, it would be most interesting."

22 of 523 comments (clear)

Whoof by daeley · 2004-12-06 05:16 · Score: 5, Funny

I just had a weird waking dream. Charlie Chaplain, on roller skates, was brandishing his cane at the Big Brother screen in the 1984 commercial.

I need more coffee...

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I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
Big Brother by phloydde1 · 2004-12-06 05:16 · Score: 4, Funny

I think the first thing that would happen if such a merger took place would be that all the copies and references to the "big brother" superbowl commercial would somehow mysteriously disappear.
IB-Apple by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-06 05:17 · Score: 5, Funny

IB-Apple
i(B)Apple
Apple'BM
iAppleBeMe
BeMiApp le
?
1. Re:IB-Apple by Deinhard · 2004-12-06 06:49 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  IB-Apple - Too "ebonic"
  i(B)Apple - Too mathematic
  Apple'BM - Too scatalogical
  iAppleBeMe - Too narcissitic
  BeMiApple - Too valentine-y
  
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  Successfully condensing fact from the vapor of nuance since 1998.
In other news... by The-Bus · 2004-12-06 05:19 · Score: 4, Funny

Vegas chance odds for Snowball vs. Hell have gone from 1:17500 to 1:225 on news regarding this merger. Business analyst Geoff Meitzer said, "This is the snowball's best chance since Sega announced they would be making games for Nintendo."

...

Seriously, how implausible would this have sounded 15 years ago?

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Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.
you lose it by liquidsin · 2004-12-06 05:32 · Score: 4, Funny

Mesh? Feasible? Synergy?! Higher than 10% buzzword-to-intelligence ratio. Post ignored.

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do not read this line twice.
Re:Except... by mordors9 · 2004-12-06 05:37 · Score: 4, Funny

Here's another: They knew that the Slashdotters were getting tired of the normal "Apple is going bankrupt" rumor and we needed to spice things up with a " is going to buy Apple" story.
Very, very old, obligatory joke by nsayer · 2004-12-06 05:38 · Score: 5, Funny

Q. What to you get when you combine Apple and IBM?

A. IBM.

Shamelessly stolen from Apple Confidential.
1. Re:Very, very old, obligatory joke by savagedome · 2004-12-06 05:44 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I am thinking iBM ;)
  
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  Free XBox, PS2
Re:Except... by pete-classic · 2004-12-06 05:45 · Score: 5, Funny

Hey, frogs could grow claws and live in toilets too!

I have just overcome my fear of sharks in the toilet. I hope you realize you've just ruined my life.

-Peter
Re:Taligent by Speare · 2004-12-06 05:56 · Score: 4, Funny
That link does not have the wag's backstory for the name "Taligent":
- Talent without NT, and
- Intelligent without Intel.
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[ .sig file not found ]
Re:buy by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-06 05:59 · Score: 4, Funny

Noone ever got fired for buying IBM.
Re:Would never happen... by Mattintosh · 2004-12-06 06:15 · Score: 5, Funny

Uhhh, do you use a hair sharpener, or is it just naturally pointy?

By the way, both companies have a heavy-duty nerd culture in the depths, hidden away where no one sees it much. Apple glosses it over with hippie chic. IBM uses yuppie chic instead. Underneath that *ppie chic, they're more alike than anyone wants to admit.

Basically, the only groups that would have to be kept separate would be the marketing departments. And even then, the marketers wouldn't be stepping on each others' shoes, since Apple sells end-user gadgetry and IBM is now a server-room iron and polish vendor.

Even armchair PHB's miss the clue boat. Jeez...
Mmmmm Pot & Beer by CrazyWingman · 2004-12-06 06:47 · Score: 4, Funny

How has no one yet brought up the old adage:

IBM was created by guys who drank beer.

Apple was created by guys who smoked pot.

Careful when mixing substances!!! ;)
Re:Except... by yardbird · 2004-12-06 07:13 · Score: 5, Funny

1. Find a slashdot-reading friend who hasn't read slashdot yet today.
2. Show him the text of the parent post
3. Ask him to guess in which front-page slashdot story this bizarre comment was actually relevant

Hilarity ensues.

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Re:Except... by wayne606 · 2004-12-06 07:15 · Score: 4, Funny

> What if they ported AIX to the PowerMac?

That's like buying a new Ferrari and replacing the seats with milk cartons and repainting it with spray paint.
IBM would become iBM by unsinged+int · 2004-12-06 07:19 · Score: 3, Funny

That would be amusing to say the least.
Re:Except... by Geoff-with-a-G · 2004-12-06 07:38 · Score: 4, Funny

Mummified?
Do you also have a tiny Egyptian tribe living in your toilet?
iMac in Black! by Johnny+Mozzarella · 2004-12-06 07:54 · Score: 4, Funny

Basically IBM would change the plastics to black and focus on selling to corporations.

I will be first in line for a iBM 17" PowerBook(black anodized aluminum).
Re:Can you imagine? by Hope+Thelps · 2004-12-06 08:04 · Score: 5, Funny

designed for the sole porpoise

When you put it like that, it does sound a bit fishy.

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Re:Can you imagine? by deaddrunk · 2004-12-06 09:01 · Score: 3, Funny

Yeh that mainframe hardware really sucks, that's why large organisations are always suffering catastrophic losses of vital data. Oh wait.....

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What do you get when you cross IBM and Apple? by Nefarious+Wheel · 2004-12-06 09:34 · Score: 3, Funny

...IBM.

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