Microsoft in 2008
r.jimenezz writes "Over at Wired there's an entertaining article written by Gary Wolf. It purports to be a memo written by a 2008-Microsoft-employed Linus Torvalds to Bill, arguing against Steve Ballmer's desire to go back to the untenable OS monopoly proposition instead of the 'new order': Windows is now some sort of desktop environment on top of an open OS!"
fp
what poignant sorrow
to hear thousands of people
screaming, you fail it
It was also posted in my free subscription of Wired. Complete with pretty photos and nice big paper!
Linus does not work for Microsoft! Nor do we have time travel! This is another hoax by Dan Rather!
it's "irrelevant," yet you can bother to take time and post?
Am I the only one who is sick of the weekly and monthly PR circus that is stories from other places obviously being submitted to /, to get traffic to their websites?
/, is going to do this over and over and over, give us Wired and Robert Cringely topics we can turn off.
Wired and Robert Cringely stick out, I'm sure there are others. If
Is iPod the Razor or the Blade?
On January 28th, 2005
Mac mini All About Movies?
On January 21st, 2005
Bob Cringely's Predictions For 2005
On January 9th, 2005
Get Your Broadcast TV Anywhere
On December 2nd, 2004 - goes to a Cringley article
Search By.... Email?
On October 15th, 2004 - goes to a Cringley article
HP Sells Cheap FreeDOS PC in China
On December 10th, 2004 - goes to a Cringley article because "And while we're on China.."
... my wife thinks he's named after a Peanuts character. What kind of geek would that make me?
Manual for the Modern Slashdotter
Golden Rule: You must base your worldview entirely on Slashdot headlines. You must ignore the innaccuracy and editorial shortcomings of the Slashdot staff. You must buy into the groupthink of the comment threads. This is of UTMOST IMPORTANCE.
- Post the lamest, most obvious, and most unfunny jokes imaginable. They will be modded up "+5 Funny." Even Malda couldn't stand it any longer and made Funny mods not count toward karma.
- Everything involving Linux is flawless and perfect.
- Anything involving Mozilla is flawless and perfect. Ignore that Mozilla marks security flaws as "confidential" and keeps them secret. Ignore that this is something Microsoft is endlessly bashed for. Ignore that Firefox has had several severe security flaws, especially for a browser used by so little of the market (1% according to Google Zeitgeist).
- Whenever someone has a criticism of the current moderation system, refer to Taco's "future moderation system."
- You must lean left. You must obsess over George W. Bush and make Bush jokes whenever possible, no matter how irrelevant to the topic. In political articles, you must upmod anti-Bush comments and downmod independent or pro-Bush comments. Use the "Overrated" moderator whenever possible. Remember, Taco is going to fix this in "the future moderation system."
- Use the term "FUD" religiously in everyday conversation. When someone puts out something that disagrees with your worldview, call it FUD matter-of-factly as a way to dismiss the points it raises. Demonization is far easier than debating the issues.
- Whenever Linux Torvalds says anything, it is newsworthy and infallible. Linus does not make mistakes. When he says he doesn't bother looking at the source code of competitors like Solaris [slashdot.org] because he's not interested, herald it as the "wonderful attitude of Linus" even though such a comment coming from a Microsoft employee would get flamed as an example of their arrogance and closed-minded attitude.
- Believe articles like "Microsoft Violates Human Rights In China," based entirely on the idea that Microsoft is evil because Windows is used by the government there. Ignore the fact that China has its own custom Linux distribution called Red Flag Linux. Slashdot is unbiased and holy.
- Ignore that Slashdot is corporate-owned, by a company called OSTG that employs Rob Malda and makes money off selling OSS products. Ignore the conflict of interests in running a "tech news" site that coincidentally posts articles critical of competitors. Ignore that if Microsoft owned a tech news site that did the same, it would be criticized for it.
- Pretend that Linux is ready for the desktop, even though it took you two hours to set up your soundcard, mouse scroll wheel, and 3D card. Ignore that the real reason you refuse to acknowledge that Linux sucks on the desktop is because you don't want to diminish your sense of accomplishment in getting it up and running. Make sure to confuse this sense of accomplishment with the feeling that you have "more control" in a Linux system compared to a Windows system.
- Pretend there's nothing wrong with endless submissions accepted from Roland Piquepaille, who makes several thousand thanks to Slashdot linking to his blog that links to the original article, rather than Slashdot just linking to the original article and cutting out the pointless middle-man. It's okay for Malda to shrug it off as though Slashdot should never consider ethics or morals.
Please redistribute this at will.
The Microsoft Memo: +1 Funny Wednesday January 26, @09:12AM Rejected
Fuck you, I've got karma to burn.
Ironically, the word ironically is often used incorrectly.
No, he's saying that Apple will help you get in touch with your inner hetereosexual, you flaming faggot windows user. =)
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.